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Thread: For auction: 1 dear husband

  1. #1

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    Opening bid $2.

    Will mow or weed whack any plant you treasure, unless there's an 8 foot easment around it.

    Today's death toll...

    1 Kentucky Wisteria ("looked like grass to me")
    1 bunch of Pale Purple coneflower

    1 bunch of bearded Iris "Before the Storm"
    1 bunch of bearded Iris "Beverly Sills"

    Buy him before I kill him.

    [img]http://www.**********.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/new/smile_m_32.gif[/img]
    \"People place their hand on the Bible and swear to uphold the Constitution; they don't put their hand on the Constitution and swear to uphold the Bible,\" Jamie Raskin, to Senator Nancy Jacobs.

  2. #2
    It's been one of dem days BigCarnivourKid's Avatar
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    What!! With Fathers Day only a month away!?!? I'll donate $10 if you'll let him live till after Father's Day. Then you can add him to the compost to help push up the daisies he so cruelly cut down in their prime.
    ---Steve Allinger---

    How come chicken fingers are bigger than buffalo wings?

    My Grow List

  3. #3

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    ok...he can live until Father's Day...but if he mows anything else down.........he gets the cast iron skillet upside the haid. And the lizard eye. You get his sorry carcass.
    \"People place their hand on the Bible and swear to uphold the Constitution; they don't put their hand on the Constitution and swear to uphold the Bible,\" Jamie Raskin, to Senator Nancy Jacobs.

  4. #4

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    Eeeeek, your black gothic bearded 'Before The Storm" iris- OMG

    You forgot the gentiana andrewsii and the Penstemon grandiflorus that your "lesser half" stepped on that were in his way to do his hack job on the other plants. You can consider those toast as they'll never right themselves. The cast iron skillet is too good for him. Did it feel good to shake what was left of the Kentucky Wisteria at him?

    If my husband does anything like that again... I'll be totally in tears and so angry I won't be able to even look at him. My "lesser half" has pulled stunts like what yours did. But my Dad, he takes the cake. Do you remember when we were gone for a few weeks and my Dad came over to surprise us to cut the lawn and he carefully removed about 50 surveying flags that I had marking spots of plants to get all the grass and then he carefully put all the flags back in the same spots? That time I thought I was about ready to throw up.

    The bid for $10 was too high all factors considered.

  5. #5
    It's been one of dem days BigCarnivourKid's Avatar
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    Laura, from the sounds of it $10 might not be enough to keep his hide intact for another month. If it wasn't for him taking out the iris I would consider upping the offer. However, bearded iris are one of my favorite flowers so he'll have to take his chances. [img]http://www.**********.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/new/smile_n_32.gif[/img] I have tried growing various types of bearded iris here, but they either don't take or they die during the winter. I think this is mostly due to the source of my plants (Wal Mart).
    ---Steve Allinger---

    How come chicken fingers are bigger than buffalo wings?

    My Grow List

  6. #6

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    All the other wives on the parenting forum my wife was on wrote "DH" for Dear Husband.

    My wife referred to me as "FH".
    My Grow List

    "We are just an advanced breed of monkeys on a minor planet of a very average star. But we can understand the Universe. That makes us something very special." -- Stephen Hawking

  7. #7

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    No BCK... $10 would not be enough if my husband had wiped out my gentiana and the 'Before The Storm" iris would have most assuredly been the straw that borke the camel's back. Bearded iris are a favorite of mine and I can guarantee I would have been reduced to tears. Say, the majority of my iris are from WalMart and they're doing fine. How deep are you planting yours? Try to go an extra 2" and see if that helps.

    DH is generally a tongue in cheek acronym for Darling Husband. Me thinks we all better be auctioning off your life if your little woman is referring to you as FH. Not good. Not good at all. Pray tell SS, what did you do?

  8. #8

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    Must have been bad.

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