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Thread: 5 VFT cultivars for SASE (and poem)

  1. #1
    cp-connection's Avatar
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    Feb 2009
    Western, NC
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    5 VFT cultivars for SASE (and poem)

    This is a carnivorous plant poetry contest. The top three poems will win 3 VFT each. (1) Jaws x Petite Dragon, (1) Petite Dragon, and (1) Justina Davis, Jaws or Red Piranha.

    Rules: Haiku or Limerick. No profanity. Must be about CP. Ends May 31.

    I will get you warmed up with one of each:

    There once was a CP named Keith
    Who had a fly between his teeth
    His mom slapped his pot
    And said that he ought
    To not talk with bugs in his leaf

    Will you go out with my friend?
    He like-likes you bad

  2. #2

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    May 2009
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    Roses are red,
    flytraps are green,
    I would like to have the jaws or red piranha,
    cause they look so darn mean!!!

    where is Leicester, NC from Statesville, NC? and when can i come pick up the plants? LOL

  3. #3
    dashman's Avatar
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    Sep 2008
    Indiana, USA
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    The nobelest of them all
    I'd love to see you

    I could not believe my eyes
    to see a flytrap of that size
    It was a B52
    and was a foot or two
    sorry you all that I tell lies.

    Limerick II (my daughter's favorite and she made me post it....)
    A haunted flytrap is a terrible fright
    ghosts laugh and they play all through the night
    but much to my dismay
    they only seem to play
    when the bugs are all out of sight

    OK... one more.

    A drosera said to the flytrap one day
    On one very fine day in May
    you haven't got a clue
    you don't have much goo
    to capture and hold your prey.

    The flytrap giggled and laughed at his plight
    How is goo going to put up a fight?
    When large bugs
    pull and they tug
    He said, I'd much rather catch them outright.


  4. #4
    sea bear returns! theyellowdart's Avatar
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    Apr 2008
    Gibsonville, North Carolina
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    There once was a Ping from Peru
    Who secreted large amounts of dew
    He cleared his throat
    And started to gloat
    When the doctor said it was only the flu

    Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

  5. #5
    A yellow M&M Jefforever's Avatar
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    Oct 2006
    over the rainbow (in the U.S.)
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    Does it have to be completely original? Haha... this one cracks me up cause I like rapping things.

    There once was a rapping whittakeri
    That's right, I said a 'rapping whittakeri
    He rapped every day
    From April to May
    And also, guess what? It was me.

    This is refering to Drosera whittakeri, for those of you not familiar w/ the name.

  6. #6
    Two flies one pitcher. Minus the crap eating. obregon562's Avatar
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    Aug 2007
    Lakewood, California, USA
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    Hope this kinda original thing works:

    Extra Credit Rap...

    Big Neps:

    i like big NEPS and i cannot lie!
    you otha brothas cant deny,
    when a pitcha drops in
    with a big ol lid
    and its full of liz^id(s)
    you get amazed!
    truncata, merilliana, DAZED!
    What is that?!
    Did it just eat a cat?!
    Damn put that in a picture,
    Thats one ATTRACTIVE pitcha!

    Haikus (i kinda forgot the rules, hope its 5-7-5)!

    Little V-F-T
    Snaps and eats the bottle fly
    Not so little, eh?

    californica tries hard
    to hide its pollenator

    The vleebos in its own native tongue
    Roridula in our own tongue
    Sticky, icky, bushy, hard-to-grow
    I try to please it mightil-o,
    But alas, roridula dies young!
    "It's easy to rip on cops, when you aren't the one needing saving"

    My Growlist

  7. #7
    Neps_N_Things's Avatar
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    Mar 2008
    Philadelphia, PA
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    Oh what an amazing flytrap
    possessing such a brutal snap
    I hope that you know
    each time that you close
    I await the reset of your deathtrap

    It isn't perfect but I tried.

  8. #8
    Let's positive thinking! seedjar's Avatar
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    Dec 2004
    Olympia, Washington
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    Is a clarihew close enough to a lymeric? (Or perhaps - could you make do with a clarihew?)

    The flytrap
    Don't make a big flap
    It waits all day in a most patient way
    When it snaps shut the flies are dismay'd


    PS - Ack, improper rhyming scheme! Literature fail! I guess it works this way, but now it occurs to me that the first way I wrote it could've been a limerick outright if I'd split the fourth line:

    The Carolinan flytrap
    Doesn't make a big flap
    It waits all day
    In a most patient way
    And when the flies come it goes snap
    o//~ Livin' like a bug ain't easy / My old clothes don't seem to fit me /
    I got little tiny bug feet / I don't really know what bugs eat /
    Don't want no one steppin' on me / Now I'm sympathizin' with fleas /
    Livin' like a bug ain't easy / Livin' like a bug ain't easy... o//~

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