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Nepenthes seed available (freebie)

  • #21
So I have grown Nepenthes seed previously, and have been getting better germination rates progressively (if you ignore one round of fungus which I learned how to avoid I believe).
Some healthier ones from an older batch I just transplanted:
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/hugh-jass/7750417246/" title="DSCN0623 by kwalton, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8437/7750417246_6feefa4849.jpg" width="500" height="375" alt="DSCN0623"></a>

As for funny? I do standup for fun, here's some one liners I've written recently :) Even if I don't win, I do hope you enjoy them, I like making people laugh!

-I think casual dress should be determined by an average, Like if you have on dress pants, a top hat, and a tank top, it's casual. Add a cane, and its business casual.
-Turkey dogs are a true miracle of genetic engineering.
-To determine if something is a sport, youtube both the highlights and the disasters in the sport. If the disasters are cooler, it's not a sport. #Nascar #BearFighting
-Sometimes I forget to take the time to thank god for all the things he has done for me. So thank you, Zeus, for killing my noisy neighbor Larry with that lightning bolt.
-I don't understand how hoarders start out their obsessions. It's like one day, their first cat dies, and they say to themselves, "You know what, I'm just gonna leave that one right there...start a pile."

Thanks for the chance,
Kyle
 
  • #22
very generous of you. thanx.
 
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  • #23
Forgot to mention

Does growing numerous other things like tobacco, mango from seed count. I've germinated byblis ,and sundew seeds just never came across nep seeds but I do have about neps rooted cuttings and in the process of rooting others.

As far as making you laugh not sure about that but how about Why didn't the pony show up to the talent show? Because he was a little horse!

I know not very funny but I'm horrible at jokes.

Thanks for the opportunity, very generous of you !
 
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  • #24
Not entering, just wanted to join in on the fun and provide you at least a smile.

Having a good sense of humor means you can laugh at yourself along with others.

A while back I planted some cephalotus leaf pullings in a small tray of wet moss. After waiting anxiously for a couple months, a couple little plantlets started to appear and I was so excited and proud of myself that I could do this on my first attempt at ceph pullings. You know the feeling, pat youself on the back, "I'm good" dance, and all that over-confident attitude I know gets me in trouble every time...

After a while I get to looking at the "starts" with a magnifying glass and come to find out one of the starts is actually a nepenthes ventricosa from seed I had thrown in the moss ages ago and forgotten about. Picture me looking around to see if anyone was looking. :blush:

So yeah, not entering for your seed because if one cannot tell the difference between a ceph leaf pulling start from a nep seedling without the aid of a magnifying glass, that one does not have experience growing neps from seed, haha; plus the fact I think these should go to someone with the experience and proper setup to do them justice.
 
  • #25
If my above post does not make you laugh, maybe this one?

A blind man enters a Lesbian bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar
stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while the blind guy
yells to the bartender: "Hey, wanna hear a blonde joke?' A deathly
silence transcends the bar. In a deep, husky, menacing voice, the woman next to
him says: "Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The
bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde, and I'm a 6' tall, 200lb blonde with a
black belt in Karate. What's more, the woman sitting next to me is blonde
and she's a weight lifter. The lady to your right is a blonde and she's a
pro wrestler. Think about it seriously, Mister. You still wanna tell
that joke?"

The blind man pauses to think, and says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to
explain it five times."
 
  • #26
First, for qualifications: I have currently a number on Nepenthes seed batches, with species such as N. naga, N. jacquelineae, and N. pectinata sprouting. Now, for a few funnies:
Two men walk into a bar. Ouch.
There is one very big difference between men and women. Men can go to bed and wake up looking exactly the same, ready for a new day, never having to worry about styling hair or trimming eyebrows or makeup. Women go to bed looking great, but somehow mutate during the night.
Married women always seem to end up larger than single women. Here's why: a single woman will come home from a long day of work, look at what's in the fridge, and go to bed. Married women come home from a long day of work, look at what's in bed, and go to the fridge.
I don't have ADHD, I have ADOLAS: Attention Deficit- OH LOOK A SQUIRREL!!!!!

Sing along:
Hey, honey have you gained some wieght in your rear end?
The dress you wear reminds me of my old girlfriend.
And where'd you get those shoes, I think they're pretty lame,
Would you stop talking, 'casue I'm trying to watch the game!

If you're a man who wants to live, a long and happy life,
these are the things you don't say to your wife!
 
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  • #27
A 5th grade teachers last day so a few kids in class get her gifts.
One student stands up with a bunch of flowers and says my dads a flourist so i got you flowers.....
Second student stands up and says my daddy works constructions so we made you a bird house.....
Third student stands up with a cardboard box that appears to be dripping from all four corners......

Now a teacher who likes her wine imediatly recognizes the kid whose parents own the local wine a liquer store. she then grabs the box and says let me guess, takes a taste of the dripping liquid and says Merlot? the boy says no guess again, so she takes another taste and says, Champagne.....Boy replies no guess again.....at this point the teacher is literally licking the box and says i give up......

The boy replies ITS A PUPPY!


I have experience growing Lowii and Lowii X's however not from seed, I have grown actually 3 Ventricosas from seed and i started with 5 seeds. HAHA this is a good one very original and thanks for the offer
 
  • #28
The not too bright bank robber tied up the safe and...
 
  • #29
I have no experience with Nepenthes seeds, so I'm not entering the contest. I am enjoying this post quite a bit, though, and will add a few jokes.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Lil' old lady.
Lil' old lady who?
Stop yodeling.

A blond decides to do a puzzle. She pours out the pieces, but is having quite a bit of trouble putting it together. None of the pieces seem to fit. She calls her boyfriend and asks if he can come over and help her out. He says he can and asks what the puzzle is supposed to make. She takes a look at the box and responds, "A tiger." He hurries over, takes a look at the puzzle and says, "Honey, put the Frosted Flakes back in the box."
 
  • #30
This is something I feel like my really bad 12th grade teacher told us one day (he had a few of these):

Mahatma Gandhi was a peculiar person. He walked barefoot everywhere, to the point that his feet became quite thick and hard. He often went on hunger strikes, and even when he wasn't on a hunger strike, he did not eat much and became quite thin and frail. He also was a very spiritual person. Finally, because he didn't eat much and when he did his diet was peculiar, he developed very bad breath. He became known as a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
 
  • #31
The boy replies ITS A PUPPY!

I have experience growing Lowii and Lowii X's however not from seed, I have grown actually 3 Ventricosas from seed and i started with 5 seeds. HAHA this is a good one very original and thanks for the offer

Well, with that one I have to declare a winner, since Ryan's was the first and only post that actually made me laugh. (the others were great fun, but none that actually made me laugh, so...EDIT: as I was composing this closing post, Sundrew submitted an excellent blond joke and that one also made me laugh, but Drew said he isn't looking to claim a prize. Drew: read on.)
Cthulhu138's offering was respectable! Dionaea's was quite excellent indeed, but unlike Chibae, my coffee stayed where it belonged: in my mouth. Butch's delightful tale was highly entertaining (and on-topic!), but didn't quite hit the bullseye. Florist Friars indeed! DJ's blonde joke was also quite good, but for me, it wasn't quite a coffee-spitter. And DJ, if it makes you feel any better, I cannot count the number of times I have bought/acquired seeds of all manner of wondrous things, raised the seedlings, and only when they were weeks or months old, realize I'd raised weeds. You're not alone, dear ;-)

So, Ryan is the winner of the N. ventricosa X lowii seeds, so Ryan, please PM me with your mailing addy. Now here comes the fun part: consolation prizes!

The following five runners-up (and you all made a fine effort, so thanks) gets a consolation prize if they want it: Cthulhu138, Dionae, Av8or1, Chibae, and Sundrew (if you want some: best blonde joke ever) the consolation prize is one seed pod of another Nepenthes hybrid I am harvesting this coming week, N. ventricosa X (thorelii X aristolochioides). To claim your prize, PM me with your mailing address info (I'm sending to US addresses only, just so we're clear on that), and sometime next week I expect to be mailing out seeds from this cross. This hybrid's merit will be its ease of growth and loads of pitchers at all times, I expect. They may not have the exotic charm of a Briggsiana, but I think some of them will make very respectable plants well worth having.

Thanks for playing! Giveaway now closed.
Paul
 
  • #32
"Its a puppy!" also made me roll on the floor, congrats to Ryan and the runners-up. All good jokes that made my day better.

Growing weeds, LOL, done that too. Thanx Paul for such a fun giveaway thread. :jester:
 
  • #33
K I'll give it a try. Came up with this joke myself

If a female mermaid is called a "mermaid" what is a male one called?...

A merBUTLER! :D

K I'll be taking those seeds now ;)
 
  • #34
Oops^ didn't read the post right above mine :'(
 
  • #35
Paul,

Thank you for the kind offer but please give my consolation prize to the next one in line.
I really don't know what I would do with nep seeds at the moment.

Zu has tasked me with Nepenthes reading assignments....(omg I thought i was a hard core teacher, LOL)
So maybe I will be more able/qualified to accept such a gift next time around.

:hail:
 
  • #36
Paul,

Thank you for the kind offer but please give my consolation prize to the next one in line.

Okie doke, will do.

If I do not receive a PM from any of the runners up by end of today, I will assume the consolation prize seeds are not wanted.
 
  • #37
Wonderful giveaway, congrats to the winners. Both the main prize and the consolation seeds ought to become amazing plants.
 
  • #38
I apologize for responding to this so late. I'm in the same boat as Avi8tor1, I don't believe I can do these seeds justice, and doubt my setup will be able to support them. I congratulate Ryan and the other winners, this was a fantastic giveaway. If you could pass on my prize, I'm sure someone else would be able to grow them properly. I'm glad you liked my joke so much, it's my all-time favorite blond joke.
 
  • #39
Hello everyone, sorry for jumping in on this thread without invitation, I am new to terraforrums and I would be very interested in the seeds if any are still available. If they are I would be happy to submit a blond joke.
 
  • #40
Hello everyone, sorry for jumping in on this thread without invitation, I am new to terraforrums and I would be very interested in the seeds if any are still available. If they are I would be happy to submit a blond joke.

Please, no apology needed! As I stated late in the thread, I do have another Nepenthes hybrid I made back in April and those seeds have matured this week as well. I am willing to share a seed pod on one condition: you are sufficiently experienced with germinating Nepenthes seeds and are confident that you can raise the seedlings successfully. You didn't mention your skill level in the above post ;-)

Paul
 
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