I hope you all will read this and consider my thoughts in regard to sharing out plants amongst ourselves. *Trading and gifting is very much a hallmark of a good CP'er: we all love to give and receive plants. *I will use myself as an example.
I know I have received many generous gifts from many of you. *Whenever I get something from another grower, I want to return the favor. *It's not so much that I feel that I "owe" someone for giving me plants, but that I want to give back the same happieness I felt when I opened that package or envelope!
I also share my own collection freely, and I don't feel that anyone "owes" me for the favor, but, as is often the case, offers are made by grateful recipents for something that they feel I would enjoy: some plant or variety that I don't currently grow.
This free sharing can often create expectation and anticipation on the part of both the giver and the getter. *
Although I may not *expect* anything in return for favors granted to me, when an offer is made for some desired thing, it does set the stage for *anticipation*. *When I receive something, and wish to thank the other person for the favor by offering to send something, and this also generates a certain *anticipation* in them: and this is understandable.
I am certain that many of you are patiently waiting for some of my promised material. *I deal with so many of you through emails, PM's, IM's, phone calls that it is inevitable that things fall through the cracks. *Life continues to happen all around us, and we can all forget those little promises. *Meanwhile, someone who anticipates the fufilling of these promises may be haunting their mailbox daily, saying "where are those plants/seeds he said he was going to send"! *Also it is true that we forget details, or become busy with other life happenings.
There is an old phrase "The road to #### is paved with good intentions", and it is an apt quote. *None of us want to disappoint the others, although unfufilled promises made in good will and with good intentions can often do this.
In my case, I need frequent reminders of my promises, as I do not record them, and as I age my memory isn't as alarm clock fresh as it used to be. *The reminders should be polite, and always carry with them the understanding that they may not be immediately fufilled, and may have to be repeated many times before being realized. * I also understand that although you may have said you were going to send me my heart's desire, and that you honestly meant to, you may forget, get busy, the plant may have died, etc. etc.
There is a difference between demanding a thing, and asking repeatedly and politely for it once it has been mentioned or promised. *As time passes in our many friendships, many such old promises will accumulate: but I hope that hard feelings over unfufilled promises like this will not! *We are all in this together, right? One for all and all for one?
So I am asking that if there is something you are patiently waiting for from me or another, that before you feel badly that it doesn't come, that 1) You will make polite inquiry about it. 2) That you understand that it may not be possible or convenient at that moment to keep the promise, and 3) That you make mention of it again at another time (perhaps MANY times): this is not nagging, but assisting in the delivery of that happieness that we all want to share with each other.
One on one trades are a different matter: these are contracts and should be honored in a reasonable time period. *But for the less defined examples, understanding and communication will go a long way in preventing hard feelings.
So, if you are waiting, or feeling disappointed, please forgive any delays which have resulted from the vagaries of life, forgetfullness and bad luck, and let me (and each other) know. *I will do the same. *We are all of us folk of good will and intent, and no one wishes to disappoint or be disappointed.
Sharing is the highest and finest quality that we can demonstrate as good CP'er's, but it is an ideal that can only be realized through sympathy and patience.
Thanks to all who are patiently waiting for things from me (speak up, here's your chance!), and to those who have promised me some good stuff, please send it soon, I'M DYING FOR THAT PLANT YOU OFFERED!!! [img]http://www.**********.com/iB_html312/non-cgi/emoticons/laugh.gif[/img]!!!