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Thread: Polocies of the trading forum

  1. #9
    Tony Paroubek's Avatar
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    Jerry,

    To the point.. sure. No it is not ok for people to post asking for free stuff.

    You see these types of posts all the time which should tell you how truely lenient we really are. But when they seem to get out of control or we receive complaints then a reminder is often posted. Many times it is from new folks that don't realize which is understandable. We have new folks joining frequently. But there has to be some sort of effort at control or the TRADE forum will get overrun with people just posting asking for free plants. The moderators try and balance things out. As it stands now several people that regularly post give away threads are considering to no longer do so because of an overabundance from people starting topics looking for handouts. This is unacceptable. I would rather put a stop to these begging posts than have the generous people of this forum stop being so generous in the future.

    Tony
    Is that a Nepenthes in your pocket or you just happy to see me?

  2. #10

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    I try pretty hard to send out my extra material on a regular basis, and I do not expect trades from anyone who responds to my offers. I know it is easy to assume that because of my sharing ethic, which I have so frequently spoken out on that I am willing to share anything extra that I have. This is correct: I want everyone to have what I have! What some people don't realize (or have forgotten) is that these projects are involved, confusing, time demanding and often expensive. I can ALWAYS send out material. I always have seed, gemmae and plants to give away - but sometimes I just need a break for awhile, to recharge the batteries. There are many plants that *I* would love to have, but I will not ask for them. When they are offered, I will gladly respond to the offer, and with many thanks. This requires a little patience and trust that such wanted items will be made available, when the time is ripe for the offer to be made.

    Legitimate trade offers deserve to remain on the front page for as long as possible, and asking for freebies is pushing these items off the page. This isn't what trade is about.

    We have addressed this issue in the past, and have discussed it on the Mod Forum. It may be that sometime we can set up a separate sub-forum for people's "wish lists" - I am in favor of this. This would free up the trade forum for the purpose it was intended for. This way, if I am feeling generous, I can choose to browse the topic, or otherwise ignore it.

    We aren't trying to peanalize anyone for having the desire to acquire more plants, but the trade forum is not the place for this.

    The following is how I feel. This is not company policy, and is adressed to no one in specific.

    Good etiquitte in regards to trade IMO is:

    1) Never to ask outright for anything. If you can't trade, then be patient, and wait for the many generous offers. If you express a keen interest, show you have the skills and interest, this should be sufficient, and the plant you long for will come to you in time when it is at all possible. One thing about the CP community that I love is how much people want to share these plants. It's all just a matter of time before someone shares what you are looking for.

    There is always something to trade. Compensation can come in many ways: be creative! I have had some very nice thank you's from people without anything to trade, but would not ever think of accepting anything just "for free". Those kind are out there too! {I've had all sorts of things sent to me: veggie garden seed, plastic baggies, stuff for the growroom, marbles, plant stakes (I collect them) I didn't ask for them, but they were certainly pleasant and welcome!}

    PM's are always an option for the truely "urgent" moments when reason and etiquette crumble. "We can work something out" can go a long way in opening avenues of discussion. I have been known to cry and whine, blubber and moan (and everything just shy of begging) to friends who understand my addiction, but would never consider this with anyone I was less personal with! With such, I express my interest, demonstrate my skills, and hen if it happens, it happens. If it don't, I bite my belt and fix my dreams on "the next time". There is always a next time.

    2) Never ask someone "Where did you get this plant", unless it is in private, and even then expect the short answer, "from a friend" if it from a private non-commercial source. The worst way to thank someone for their generosity to you is by setting them up for many additional demands that they might not care to have made in their own offering. It also puts the person so questioned in a very hard place, and it is the worse faux pas in CP Society! A special gift is just that SPECIAL, and sharing this sort of information is a very bad way of "sharing the wealth". Whenever someone emails me with a request, I feel if I dont respond in the affirmative, then I will be seen as ungracious: and many other's feel the same way. For this reason, I adopt the attitude of "a gentleman never tells". Asking for a personal contact to go begging from is just downright rude. It would be better to ask if the person would be willing to arrange an introduction

    3) When you receive something, a thank you is in order. Even if you paid the shipping. In fact, even if you bought the plant outright. Nursery owners are always looking for good feedback about what they send. Without it, they can't assess problems, give staisfaction, and remain generally in the dark. A quick email "got the plant, it arrived well" or "The plant was packed poorly and suffered" can make a lot of difference in quality control, and fixing mistakes. Thanking one for a private gift is just common courtesy and goes with out saying anything more.

    4) Make a dilligent effort not to waste what was given to you. Study and learn how to have the best chance of success, and when you do (and you will if you do the homework!) share in turn what was given to you, remembering that there are many hungry (and hopefully patient) growers out there slavering like a VFT in a bugless month for those plants. If you can't find the subject of any interest as far as research goes, why bother wanting to grow the plant? Leave it to the care of someone with a higher degree of interest or skill. Be honest with yourself as to your real interest or skill when you respond to the offerings made here.


    So saying, I am sure I have broken all these rules myself at one time or another. No excuse though (!!!), and if I did well.... wash my mouth out with soap, yuk!

    Finally, I want to say although we often have the *illusion* that this is a free, public and totally open board, there are in fact rules and etiquette that need to be followed. Once a post is deleted by a Mod or Admin., this needs to be the END of it, and if there is need of further debate, then it should be restricted to, and posted on one of the "Free Speech and Flame Forums", with which this Forum has no affiliations. Anything less than this is begging (hee hee, on topic pun) for trouble! It's a good thing Tony had a romantic and relaxing weekend! If I had locked a topic and it was reopened things would have gone a whole different way considering what my week was like!

    This is an example of how moderators moderate moderators, and kudos to Tony for doing such a great job of peacekeeping.

    OK, that's my Emily Post (pun intended). Thanks for hearing my views out (and again, these are my own personal opinions), and I look forward to continued sharing with all as I am ready, able, and willing. (Hey, 2 outa 3 ain't bad, but I'm pushing for 3 outa 3).



    "Grow More, Share More"

  3. #11

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    Tamlin, first of all, great post.

    You for one know of me. You know that I take nothing for free, and I actually enjoy helping out.

    A seperate forums for requests is an excellent idea. I will quell all issues of this debate.

    As far as what you said about the locked thread, I must disagree. The thread was locked without good cause imo. Yes, there are rules, but maybe those rules arn't the best wishes of the community. This is a private forum, and the goal is to keep the buisiness interestes in mind for PFT, but lets face it, someone asking for a free nep hybrid is not hurting PFT's buisiness (unless they started selling hybrids very recently [img]http://www.**********.com/iB_html312/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif[/img] )

    In my opinion, everything is open for debate, if it isn't, then lock the thread upon creating it, don't allow a few replies, get the last word, then lock it. Thats just plain rude to me.

    While I agree with both you and Tony, I still don't think a newbie should be shut out of the opportunity to request a plant simply because he doesn't have a trade to offer. A new forum for freebies (and requesting freebies) would solve the entire issue.

    Casper

  4. #12
    cool85k5's Avatar
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    I second the motion for a Plants for free forum [img]http://www.**********.com/iB_html312/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif[/img] cant we all just get along [img]http://www.**********.com/iB_html312/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]http://www.**********.com/iB_html312/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif[/img] [img]http://www.**********.com/iB_html312/non-cgi/emoticons/cool.gif[/img]


    Jerry

  5. #13

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    Obviously this depends on how polite people are when asking.

    I could qualify as one of those 14 year olds you were talking about there...and I've so far received a N. x ventrata from the very generous Capslock(hope you don't mind me saying this Caps!). This obviosuly helped me along in the hobby...as it would have been very difficult to fork up something for trade and whatnot. Unless someone wants a clump of java ferns for a cp then that would work out for me...

    I feel that this idea for a forum could work, but who will fill all the orders? Will people get mad when, say, someone has some sars and fills another person order and doesn't send one to him? How will say, NickHubbell feel, come spring, when he is bombed with blunt requests for the ventrata cuttings?
    1 Nxventrata

    D. muscipula & D. muscipula 'Red Dragon'(barely)

    Sarracenia leucophylla(seedling)

    S. purpurea and Drosera filiformis filiformis/ intermedia seeds waiting to sprout.

    Drosera capensis

  6. #14
    It's been one of dem days BigCarnivourKid's Avatar
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    I will not try to reiterate what Tamlin has said (and did so quite well), but will state that from my past experience on this forum, that allowing people to ask for free plants failed. It failed in that some people got this strange idea that someone had to give them a plant if they asked for it. Politely or otherwise. There was more than one post were someone had the audacity to bluntly say "Give me a (insert name of plant of your choice)" and yes they were serious. I do not miss those types of posts and think that with the generosity of the people on this forum, that posts asking for free plants are unnecessary. All the person has to do is have patience and eventually they will find the plant they want being offered by someone.

    [img]http://www.**********.com/iB_html312/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif[/img]
    Steve
    ---Steve Allinger---

    How come chicken fingers are bigger than buffalo wings?

    My Grow List

  7. #15

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    me too, i could qualify for one of those 14 year olds, i have recieved some sundews and neps from some very genourous people, that has gave me boost start, now they are flowering and i have something to trade!
    I think that people should ask for free stuff very indirectly and polite(if possible ) so that it dosent annoy anyone and the giver (if there is one)will feel that he is offering the plant/seed... [i dont really know how to say this]
    for example for a newbie:
    when the community talks about there gemination rate, you can post "My germination rate was only about 10% and all the seedlings turned black [img]http://www.**********.com/iB_html312/non-cgi/emoticons/sad.gif[/img] "
    then someone might offer you seeds
    ive got free stuff with something like this kind of method and everyone was happy.
    Another way is to ask if a local nusery sold the plant you wanted

    thats just my opinions [img]http://www.**********.com/iB_html312/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif[/img]
    A lady went into a grocery store and looked into the turket section. She needed a bigger one for her family, so she asks the stock boy: \"Do these turkeys get any bigger?\"

    The stock boy replied: \"No ma'am, they're dead\"

    Msn/email - wezx1@hotmail.com

  8. #16

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    I like Tamlin's idea of a want list/request forum. This is a good non offensive way to let people know what your looking for. We all have plants we want or even dream about. Grow lists could be posted with your request to help facilitate trades. Also, the supplier of the material can decide if its for free or a trade.

    I think the trading forum works fine. If something is being given away it is always stated that way in the post. Trade means trade and free means free

    Glenn

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