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Thread: An honest questions from a guy for all the girls

  1. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by [b
    Quote[/b] (Est @ Nov. 03 2005,10:54)]
    Quote Originally Posted by [b
    Quote[/b] ]and say it was just sex
    [img]http://www.**********.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/new/confused.gif[/img] All I can do is just shake my head... There's no thing as "just sex." And no, being wasted isn't a very good excuse. I've heard all of this sort of garbage before (luckily not in any of my relationships...)

    Quote Originally Posted by [b
    Quote[/b] ]but I can't really disconnect sex and emotion, and I personally wouldn't get involved with someone who could disconnect the two in the first place.
    I was glad I read this before writing something to the exact same effect. lol Seriously, if your friend had a girlfriend like that then I'd be CHEERING for him right now, wishing him good riddance of that girl (and somehow the word "girl" in that sentence is written with uttermost disgust. lol...)

    Being overly controlling is one thing, but what's the POINT of having a relationship if you're a person like your friend's girlfriend?? I'll never get it, I'll just neeeever get it.
    yes est, there is NO EXCUSE just how you stated.
    there are people like that, hoodrats, h*es(sorry for this), ect. and i do feel sad for thoes people...
    im also NOT targeting just girls, there are guys to that do this too because i think guys have a hard time hidding it.
    im so glad i wasnt brought up in a environment like that. im happy to say that i am in a relationship that isnt like my friends. the girls was cool but it seem pretty funny that she would pop that question every once in a while...

    just what endparenthesis said, "but I can't really disconnect sex and emotion, and I personally wouldn't get involved with someone who could disconnect the two in the first place", i feel the same way. i wouldnt have done anything( u know what i mean) if there wasnt anything there (feelings towards that person)
    \"Nepenthes, the Devil's Cup\" - Santos
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  2. #10
    BoooOOOOooooo!!!!! unknownclown's Avatar
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    When 2 people decide to be in a relationship they commit themselves to each other not just physically but mentally as well. If they cannot handle such a commitment they should not even consider a relationship to begin with.

    Now with that being said I have serious issues with respect. Cheating for me could be something simple like if my boyfriend (if I had one) held another womans hand in an inapropriate time. I dont mind acts of comforting when people are having a hard time in life, but when its done out of affection and attraction between 2 people which should be reserved him and I it borderlines cheating enough to get booted out of my life. It may sound psychotic cause alot of people would consider that harmless, but to me its disrespectful. It builds a foundation in which I begin to lose faith in the person Im with. To me cheating can be just innapropriate words exchanged between 2 people, cause to me cheating is not just a physical act, just like a healthy relationship between 2 people is not just based upon a physical act.

    Now if someone were to tell me that "it was just sex" Id be forced to think what we had together was absolutely meaningless to the person (and probably just sex as well) otherwise he would have thought his actions thru a bit more before jumping into the sack and throwing everthing away. Obviously he didnt cherish what he had well enough to protect it from a bad decission and does not deserve another chance. Why should I waste my time with someone who does not apreciate me enough to remain faithful? and why should I waste my time and energy on wondering if he is faithful? Life is too short for all that silly stuff!
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    I'm not even going to risk having painful memories resurface [img]http://www.**********.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/blues.gif[/img] [img]http://www.**********.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/new/mad.gif[/img]

    Cheers

  4. #12
    Tropical Fish Enthusiast jimscott's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by [b
    Quote[/b] (unknownclown @ Nov. 03 2005,2:56)]When 2 people decide to be in a relationship they commit themselves to each other not just physically but mentally as well. If they cannot handle such a commitment they should not even consider a relationship to begin with.

    Now with that being said I have serious issues with respect. Cheating for me could be something simple like if my boyfriend (if I had one) held another womans hand in an inapropriate time. I dont mind acts of comforting when people are having a hard time in life, but when its done out of affection and attraction between 2 people which should be reserved him and I it borderlines cheating enough to get booted out of my life. It may sound psychotic cause alot of people would consider that harmless, but to me its disrespectful. It builds a foundation in which I begin to lose faith in the person Im with. To me cheating can be just innapropriate words exchanged between 2 people, cause to me cheating is not just a physical act, just like a healthy relationship between 2 people is not just based upon a physical act.

    Now if someone were to tell me that "it was just sex" Id be forced to think what we had together was absolutely meaningless to the person (and probably just sex as well) otherwise he would have thought his actions thru a bit more before jumping into the sack and throwing everthing away. Obviously he didnt cherish what he had well enough to protect it from a bad decission and does not deserve another chance. Why should I waste my time with someone who does not apreciate me enough to remain faithful? and why should I waste my time and energy on wondering if he is faithful? Life is too short for all that silly stuff!
    Having had numerous talks on a variety of subject matters with my wife, it appears that men and women think significantly differently (generally speaking). Apparently, guys think of cheating in terms of sex and gals think of it in terms of emotional bonding. So if you're a guy, and you happen to develop feelings for a girl/woman, to your g/f or wife - that's cheating.

  5. #13
    Lauderdale's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by [b
    Quote[/b] ]So if you're a guy, and you happen to develop feelings for a girl/woman, to your g/f or wife - that's cheating.
    Well said Jim.

  6. #14
    scottychaos's Avatar
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    I think men and women actually have the same standards when it comes to "what is cheating"..
    the rules only get modified when one (man or woman, doesnt matter which) actually gets caught cheating..in that case, the rules suddenly get VERY relaxed according to the one that was caught!
    and the rules suddenly get much more stringent for the one who was cheated against!

    I think thats why it *seems* different, but in reality it isnt very different at all.
    when a person is caught cheating, the rules on the two sides are miles apart.
    otherwise, they are the same..

    Scot

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    Quote Originally Posted by [b
    Quote[/b] ] but I can't really disconnect sex and emotion, and I personally wouldn't get involved with someone who could disconnect the two in the first place.
    Well, with regards to this, it's not whether YOU can disconnect the two, it's whether your PARTNER can that dictates whether you've cheated. YOUR intentions are only half of the equation - the other half is how your actions make the other person feel. If they feel like you've cheated, you've cheated. Period. Now, if they think flirting is cheating, they need a shrink, and you should get rid of them, but just be aware of that before you get into a relationship with them. If you do, DON'T flirt, not matter how harmless YOU find it.

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  8. #16
    Moderator Schmoderator Fluorescent fluorite, England PlantAKiss's Avatar
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    Like many have said, "cheating" needs to be defined by the couple. That is a topic two people should discuss BEORE entering into a serious/committed relationship with each other. Make sure boundaries are clearly defined; cover all scenarios. Some situations are pretty clear (like sex) and other situations are somewhat greyer (showing affection to another, online flirting, etc.). I'm sure some people don't consider "messing around" online as cheating. Best to clear that one up since its so common these days.

    I worked with someone who's husband went to a bachelor party and 1) he lied about strippers being there. 2) She found out later he fondled a stripper's "chest." She was VERY upset. He didn't understand why (DOLT!). She said he cheated. He said he didn't because he "didn't have feelings" for the stripper. Now I would hazard a guess that most women would NOT like their husbands fondling ANYONE'S chest so to me that's a no-brainer. But that just goes to show you how view points can differ on what "cheating" is.

    Every couple has a unique relationship and not everyone fits into the "traditional" mold. So its best to clearly define what's acceptable and what's not. Too many people assume their partner shares the same outlook until something comes up and then you have trouble.

    And sometimes partners aren't honest about what they can accept and what they can't. You gotta be able to put your money where your mouth is. Don't talk the talk unless you can walk the walk.

    p.s. I'm pleased to see so many men saying they can't separate sex and emotion. [img]http://www.**********.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/new/smile.gif[/img]



    "Fox terriers are born with about four times as much original sin in them as other dogs." - Jerome K. Jerome

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