I think there is far more to the issue of "cheating" than meets the eye. *Its seldom a black and white issue. *I don't condone the breaking of ANY promise, but when it comes to relationships, there is more to commitment than simply being faithful in a physical way. And there is more to relationships that just "love." Love alone will not keep you together.
Say for example, you have a couple where one spouse is treating the other like crap over a long period of time. *When you commit to another person, you aren't just promising never to cheat; you are also making a pledge to be open and honest, to communicate, to be loyal, to be understanding and most important: to be respectful of your mate's feelings. *This is a two-way street. *As long as those elements are honored in a relationship, honoring and respecting the commitment ("promise") is fair and reasonable. *But when the main building blocks of a relationship are missing, and when a partner has TRIED his/her darndest to work out the problems and there is no response or compromise, then its not quite fair to scream "BUT YOU PROMISED!" when you find out your mate has looked for the missing elements elsewhere. *If after really trying to work through the problems, you can't get issues resolved, the BEST choice (as opposed to cheating) is to end the unfulfilling relationship and go find a someone who will honor you as a partner and meet your needs.
I know a lot of happily "coupled" people and I know some unhappily coupled people. *And the unhappily coupled people cannot be honest with one another and cannot communicate and compromise. *If two people love and respect one another, you should be able to talk and work out problems. *Some people are just "jerks" and cheat for the thrill of it. *But far more cheat because their needs as a mate and a person are not being met by their partner. *When all is right and happy in a relationship, you rarely will find cheating. *Again, I certainly don't condone cheating as a solution to a crappy relationship. *But, don't be expecting some "words" to be the SOLE glue that keeps a mate where he/she should be. *If your mate has an issue, LISTEN and ACT.
I will throw this into the mix too.. [img]http://www.**********.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif[/img] *I've mentioned this before somewhere. *A recent LENGTHY study of monogamy by two scientists revealed that almost no animal was 100% monogamous. *This included species that have always been considered monogamous. *The study included birds, fish, mammals and even worms. *Of all the hundreds of species studied, only one was found to be truly monogamous...a flatworm. *"Cheating" was found in every single "monogamously mated" animal couple. *"Monogamous" birds (both male and female) were observed slipping off to get a little nookie on the side. *They believe it has something to do with genetic diversity...keeping genes mixed and spread.
So the conclusion of the study was that animals (including humans) are not BY NATURE monogamous. *HOWEVER, it was also noted that with humans, our emotions (love) and intelligence (reasoning), CAN override our innate drive to be with more than one person. *The study wasn't promoting cheating, it was simply making note that monogamy is not a genetically natural state and explaining why cheating is so common both with men and women (humans). *They were quite clear that monogamy with humans IS achievable.
I personally have never felt monogamy was natural but I do believe in commitment and one-on-one relationships.