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Thread: Is there something wrong with me?

  1. #1
    FarmerDave's Avatar
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    Lately I've been thinking that I might be (slightly) depressed.
    Not only that but I think that I had an over eating disorder, because I've packed on a couple of pounds. Then whenever I saw myself in the mirror, I realized that I am out of shape and disgusting. So I've stopped eating almost everything, but every now and then I'll have a full meal but only if it is very low in calories. So now I think that I have yet another eating disorder, but this time it's the other way around.

    Not until now has the fact that I like to seclude myself from large crowds of people bothered me, and I now fear that I'll live forever without any true friends worth having. this is probably yet another sign of depression.

    Not only that but I think that I've found the person that I'd like to spend the rest of my life with and I don't think that they'll ever like me. I don't know what's wrong with me, before I thought that they liked me, then I wasn't sur, then again I thought that they liked me, but now I don't think that they're interested at all. the 'person' has a great sense of fasion and everything, and then there's me, a retarded kid with no sense of fasion or a life. And I feel like there's never going to be something there for me.
    I have many friends that I kind of hand around and stuff because that's what it's like at Rickards but I still feel left out.
    Even though i have some friends who have/had cut themselves, I won't even consider it.

    What's wrong with me?
    I'm thinking about asking my parents to take me to a 'shrink', should I or not?

  2. #2

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    I would suggest to go to a doctor and see what they think. I'm not medically trained, and won't pretend I am. However, you shouldn't suffer needlessly, and if a doctor can do something to help, it can improve your life.
    Brian

  3. #3
    Let's positive thinking! seedjar's Avatar
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    This is serious, Dave, and I would suggest you consult your general practitioner and a psychologist about this, immediately. It sounds to me like you could have some sort of delusional disorder regarding your weight - sometimes a person's body-image becomes detached from reality, and they can begin to have hallucenations of looking, feeling or sounding fatter (or thinner, or uglier, etc.) than they actually are. I once read a news story about a kid in Britain who had a neurotic delusion that he had severe body odor - if I recall correctly, he died from aluminum toxicity after using over 20 cans of spray deodorant in a single day.
    It also worries me that you isolate yourself. I myself am claustrophobic, and I have a very difficult time maintaining my focus when in a crowd or socializing with a large group of people. If you can, you should make an effort to spend time with your peers and acquaintances, and try to learn some better socialization skills. It won't necessarily cure you, but the more experience you have, the better equipped you'll be to cope with your situation.
    Please don't begin cutting yourself. It's a very dangerous habit and once you begin physically hurting yourself to deal with your mental and emotion pain, it will become increasingly hard to stop. Cutting is a powerful distraction from other types of mental illness, but it will only help in the beginning.
    You need to tell your parents about how you feel, and you need to get into a doctor as soon as possible. I don't want to depress you any further, but this will not be an easy experience. Your parents may react in a way which seems inappropriate to you; they may even say or do things that seem unsupportive or cruel, and you should be prepared for this. Remember that your perceptions may be clouded by your mental state, and that your parents' emotional investment in your wellbeing may lead them to act rashly, in ways that could seem distant or unkind to you. This is why it's important to talk with doctors ASAP, in order to have a neutral party acting in the best interests of both you and your parents. Doctors are much more practiced at dealing with mental illness than your average parent.
    Try your best not to jump to any conclusions in this situation. You could be majorly depressed, with the depression manifesting as negative self-image, or you could have an eating disorder or social disorder, the stress of which is causing circumstantial depression. Your parents should know about this, but keep in mind that like you, they're caught up in the emotions of this situation, and they may not be able to be wholly objective at first. My advice to you is fourfold: get yourself into a doctor; get outside and spend some time with your friends; focus on eating nutritional, well-balanced meals (malnutrition is a shockingly common cause of depression and finally, learn to use your mind in place of your heart when you're depressed.
    This last tip is the hardest of all, but it's absolutely necessary to dealing with an emotional disorder. Your emotions will convince you of negative ideas and make it hard to think about things objectively. The depression will, and may always, have sway over your emotions, but it's when your depression influences your thoughts and actions that you're really in trouble.
    You need to focus on the fact that people care about you and want you to be OK. Try to remember the feelings that you had before you were depressed (as hard as that can sometimes be) and know that at one time or another, you had things to live for - goals, ideas, and loved ones. When you're depressed, your world can sometimes close in on itself, and all you see is the negativity inside yourself. But there are still things outside your depression, and as long as you can pull yourself to your feet and go find those things, you can find things to keep going for.
    ~Joe
    o//~ Livin' like a bug ain't easy / My old clothes don't seem to fit me /
    I got little tiny bug feet / I don't really know what bugs eat /
    Don't want no one steppin' on me / Now I'm sympathizin' with fleas /
    Livin' like a bug ain't easy / Livin' like a bug ain't easy... o//~

  4. #4
    Stay chooned in for more! Clint's Avatar
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    Yeah, go the the Dr. dude. Sounds like you have social anxiety.

    I've dieted like your doing now, and for me it wasn't an eating issue. Gaining two pounds doesn't mean that much, atleast not to me. The best way to lose weight is to eat as many raw vegetables as you want and excersize within reason. Take your vitamins and protein shakes, too!

    Are you gay? I ask because you said "person" instead of girl. You also mentioned a "great sense of fashion" soo... yeah. You don't have to answer, but you can pm me if you want.

    "Not only that but I think that I've found the person that I'd like to spend the rest of my life with and I don't think that they'll ever like me. I don't know what's wrong with me, before I thought that they liked me, then I wasn't sur, then again I thought that they liked me, but now I don't think that they're interested at all. the 'person' has a great sense of fasion and everything, and then there's me, a retarded kid with no sense of fasion or a life. And I feel like there's never going to be something there for me."

    Totally normal teenage feelings, dude.

    If you think you need therapy, go for it. Better safe than sorry.

  5. #5
    nepenthes_ak's Avatar
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    I used to cut... and now that I do I have these little scars on my wrist I was so paranoid about for a year as friendly reminders as how stupid I was to even think about it in the first place.

    DON'T cut... Instead of cutting you're self treat you're self to something nice like a new nepenthes or another Sundew...

  6. #6
    Aklys joossa's Avatar
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    FarmerDave, I can relate to some of the things you are going through and feeling. I myself experienced some of these feelings when I was going through high schoool.

    The only thing I can tell you from my experince is to just get through the phase, situation, etc. as safe as possible. Do what you feel is necessary for you to overcome these challenges and obsticles; whether it be asking your parents, asking a relative, a doctor, etc. for help. Do not "cut" yourself or take drugs as a possible solution to these problems. Hurting yourself will not solve anything!

    I can tell you this: Once I started college, I realized that it did not matter what other people thought of me when I was in high school. What really did matter is that I did what I enjoyed and I tried my best at it, and I did not do it to impress anyone, but myslef.

    So, don't get too caught up in the situation, it happens to a lot of people. You are not alone. The thing that most don't realize, though is that it will pass, if you allow it to pass. So get some help, do things YOU enjoy doing, and do not pay attention to what others think or may think of you.
    -Joel from Southern California


  7. #7
    herenorthere's Avatar
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    Unfortunately, a lot of what you're describing is adolescence, as JLAP said. At least how many people experience(d) it. Even though it might be completely normal, I agree with those who recommend seeing a professional, starting with your doctor. If it's something beyond normal, help is available. Good luck.
    Bruce in CT

    Madness is something rare in individuals but in groups, parties, peoples, ages it is the rule. Friedrich Nietzsche

  8. #8
    FarmerDave's Avatar
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    Thanks! I've told my parents that I need to see someone, but they think that I can live without it =(

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