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Thread: Got a question for you all...

  1. #1
    nepenthes_ak's Avatar
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    Cool

    Some of you guys know about my relation ship troubles for the past 3-4 months. I messed up thought I wasn't happy, convinced my self and others that i wasn't. The past 2 months things have gotten alot better, but then today i realized several things. And Im right back at square one, how the #### do you guys deal with a girl who says she still loves you, and has feelings, and says she still cares, but she says that she wants to build a relation ship.

    And ive realized something im an emotionally attached, and emotionally dependent person, I don't know how to change this, i want to talk to a councilor but i don't want to disappoint my mom. And This girl we dated for a year and 9 months gonna be two hear soon. and it is just so depressing, and its so hard, cause i love this girl and i cant talk to her and show her any kind of affection cause it will just make her annoyed with me.

    I just dont know what to do guys, i cant live life looking like im happy and doing fine, and being around a wonderfull person like her. She made me so happy, she was the best thing, but i didnt realize what i had.

    It just is so #### hard. I have tried breaking things off not talking to her for a while, but i can never not stay away from her.

    Love is an addiction, its worse than heroin.

  2. #2
    Stay chooned in for more! Clint's Avatar
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    Why would going to a therapist dissapoint your mother?

    Who's we? And why would she be annoyed with you if she said herself she wants a relationship?

    Personally, I think you need to stop focusing on what makes her so great (If she even is a great as you say) and start looking at what you like about yourself.

    I dunno if you're high right now, but don't replace the need for love with the need for dope. Don't use to make yourself feel better when you're sad.

  3. #3
    nepenthes_ak's Avatar
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    nope havent touched drugs in 2 months...

    my mom would be disapointed in the fact that the last time i went she cried her *** off afraid that im gonna turn out like her brother who is preaty much allways in jail. and just all sorts of stuff like that.

    the thing is their really is nothing i like about my self... im not ungratefull for the life i have no i just dont like anything about myself.

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    JRFxtreme's Avatar
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    Feed her to a plant for being a confusing chica!

  5. #5
    Stay chooned in for more! Clint's Avatar
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    Going to therapy is no big dealio dude. Lots of people do it. Prozac is like the number 1 script right now. If you are depressed, see a doctor. Take prozac. Look at it like a tool that can help you instead of a drug that you're dependant on forever. You can wean yourself off of it under a Dr.'s supervision.

    As much of a proponent for drugs as I am, don't take prozac as a miracle pill then go off of it once you feel better. Do not screw with Seratonin. I believe prozac is the only SSRI approved by the FDA for people under 18. If you really do have a genetic chemical imbalance, then prozac could be enough, but if you have a problem expressing your feelings and dealing with them in a healthy way, then therapy is good. Don't be embarrassed for needing therapy. With the world we live in, it's just part of it sometimes.

    Therapy would be, at the very least, a way to tell your mom how you feel about her crying and let her know that her actions and emotions affect you. Sounds like she needs some therapy if she's afraid for your future to such a great extent. No offense.


    Also, it's winter. The lower light levels lower the Seratonin in our brains in some people and this can cause seasonal depression and/or make pre-existing depression worse. I'm always a little gloomy in the winter.


    Ever considered that she's NOT good for you even thought you love (or atleast think you do, there's a difference) her?
    Just because you feel happy all the time around someone doesn't mean that's healthy. A real relationship isn't all fun and games and happiness all the time. Ask any married couple... anywhere The only time i've ever seen anyone happy 100% of the time was when I almost got involved in a white supremecist cult disguised as a drug rehab program, but that's another story for another day

  6. #6
    Whats it to ya? Finch's Avatar
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    No one needs to know about you going to therapy except your mom. No one, and i doubt many would care. Then again, some guys who think its a weakness for any man to seek help like that are just stupid, they are wrong, and they dont even need to know. Do you buy into their claims than men dont show emotion? Is that the problem? DO you think your mom or your girl will think of you as weaker to show it? Thats their problem, not yours.
    that makes no logic

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    Quote Originally Posted by [b
    Quote[/b] ]my mom would be disapointed in the fact that the last time i went she cried her *** off afraid that im gonna turn out like her brother who is preaty much allways in jail. and just all sorts of stuff like that.
    What? This is so illogical I can't stand it.

    First of all, I would be willing to bet your issues are in a whole different plane from his. So you're emotional. So what?

    Getting therapy is not a bad thing. In fact, it's a GOOD thing. For some reason, there is still some rediculous stigma associated with it. I say get the therapy, and if people give you a hard time, just tell them that they're the ones who are chicken. They're too scared to actually FACE their issues.

    Bah.

    Oh, and lesson #1, grasshopper. Give up NOW on trying to understand women. Never gonna happen.
    17 Nash Rd.
    North Salem, NY 10560

    YOU! Outta my gene pool!

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    quogue's Avatar
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    I wasn't gonna post, but I do want to say that I would trust illegal drugs more than the prescription kind. Those drugs are the most dangerous I think. Not saying you should use the other kind either.
    Your friends should be your best therapist. If you can't talk to them, they're not that good of friends.
    Your mom worries about you, that's good, shows she cares.
    As for this girl, you're young, I wouldn't stay with her for too long. Especially if you can't talk to her or express your feelings to her. You need to find what's right for you. The easiest way to move on is either to find someone new or to just not see her anymore and enjoy the single life doing whatever you wanna do when you wanna do it.
    I've been in and out of love with quite a few women, and been single for long stretches too.
    For me, I've experienced alot and have a good idea of what I'm looking for because of that. Being single I got to focus on myself and just be me.
    This has worked for me, maybe it's something to think about.
    The worst thing to do is to bottle up your thoughts & emotions and keep them to yourself. That can be downright dangerous. Therapist's aren't always the best either, friends and family are always the best to talk to beacause they care and they know you. And they're free!

    Hope this helps dude...

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