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Thread: Guy's Rules

  1. #1
    rattler's Avatar
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    Guy's Rules

    The Guys' Rules*******************
    At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
    Finally, the guys' side of the story.
    (I must admit, it's pretty good.)
    We always hear "the rules"
    From the female side.

    Now here are the rules from the male side.
    These are our rules!
    Please note... these are all numbered "1"
    ON PURPOSE!
    1. Men are NOT mind readers.

    1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
    You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
    We need it up, you need it down.
    You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

    1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
    or the changing of the tides.
    Let it be.

    1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
    And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

    1. Crying is blackmail.

    1. Ask for what you want.
    Let us be clear on this one:
    Subtle hints do not work!
    Strong hints do not work!
    Obvious hints do not work!
    Just say it!

    1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

    1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
    Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

    1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
    See a doctor.

    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
    In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

    1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

    1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
    Don't ask us.

    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one

    1. You can either ask us to do something
    Or tell us how you want it done.
    Not both.
    If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

    1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

    1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

    1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
    Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

    1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
    We do that.

    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
    We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.

    1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

    1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
    or shooting.

    1. You have enough clothes.

    1. You have too many shoes.

    1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

    1. Thank you for reading this.
    Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


    But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. besides there is a TV within easy view of the couch............
    cervid serial killer
    Know guns, know peace, know safety. No guns, no peace, no safety
    I didn't get stimulated but he kept his promise on change, that's about all I got left!
    http://www.wolfpointherald.com/--http://www.safety-brite.net/

  2. #2
    The Yarn Nerd aka VFT Gal krochetnkat's Avatar
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    That's a good one
    The Yarn Nerd

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    quogue's Avatar
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    "1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
    We do that."
    My personal favorite

    "1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
    We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later."
    Ain't that the truth...

    Fun stuff!

  4. #4
    Doing it wrong until I do it right. xvart's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rattler_mt View Post
    1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
    You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
    We need it up, you need it down.
    You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
    Although I have made a habit out of always putting the toilet seat down, I completely agree with this statement. Why is it our responsibility to put the seat down. Wouldn't it be just as reasonable to ask women to put it up when they are done?

    Quote Originally Posted by rattler_mt View Post
    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
    We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.
    Perfect. I can't tell you how many times I have had this exact same conversation with my wife.

    Quote Originally Posted by rattler_mt View Post
    1. Crying is blackmail.
    Using sex as a weapon is not cool, either.

    xvart.
    "The tragedy of life is not that every man loses; but that he almost wins."

    "Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?"

  5. #5
    nepenthes_ak's Avatar
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    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
    In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

    1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

    1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
    Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

    1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
    We do that.

    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
    We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.

    Are My Favorite. Crying and Sex as black mail is evil and just wrong dont get in the habbit!

  6. #6
    Always a newbie glider14's Avatar
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    1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
    Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
    HAHA! thats so true. well i know what mauve is only because my girlfriend's dress to a dance was mauve...
    these are so good! adn all so true.

    Alex
    Everything is explainable. The seemingly unexplainable is but a result of our insufficient knowledge.- Hans Brewer

  7. #7
    rattler's Avatar
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    1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
    You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
    We need it up, you need it down.
    You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

    actualy ive NEVER had this argument................and i grew up in the house with 3 girls and i currently live with my wife and her daughters...............never had an argument on this.........
    cervid serial killer
    Know guns, know peace, know safety. No guns, no peace, no safety
    I didn't get stimulated but he kept his promise on change, that's about all I got left!
    http://www.wolfpointherald.com/--http://www.safety-brite.net/

  8. #8
    SirKristoff is a poopiehead Ozzy's Avatar
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    Although I have made a habit out of always putting the toilet seat down,
    Wussy


    actualy ive NEVER had this argument................and i grew up in the house with 3 girls and i currently live with my wife and her daughters...............never had an argument on this........
    Sellout

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