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Thread: Classy insults

  1. #1
    Lauderdale's Avatar
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    May 2003
    Fort Lauderdale
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    Classy insults

    I know this is waaaay off topic but I am sure some of you will appreciate these insults and may even find a person to direct one at.
    I have already used the first two and just as I thought, neither were taken as intended.
    And by the way, remember the spelling rule, I comes E except after C? What words can you think of that violate the rule.
    Back in the days when Insults Had Class!

    "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
    -- Winston Churchill

    "A modest little person, with much to be modest about."
    -- Winston Churchill

    "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great
    -- Clarence Darrow

    "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the
    -- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

    "Poor Faulkner, Does he really think big emotions come from big words?"
    -- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

    "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."
    -- Moses Hadas

    "He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."
    -- Abraham Lincoln

    "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
    -- Groucho Marx

    "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of
    -- Mark Twain

    "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
    -- Oscar Wilde

    "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend
    . . . if you have one."
    -- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

    "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second . . . if there is one."
    -- Winston Churchill, in response

    "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."
    -- Stephen Bishop

    "He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
    -- John Bright

    "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
    -- Irvin S. Cobb

    "He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."
    -- Samuel Johnson

    "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
    -- Paul Keating

    "He had delusions of adequacy."
    -- Walter Kerr

    "There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure."
    -- Jack E. Leonard

    "He has the attention span of a lightning bolt."
    -- Robert Redford

    "They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human
    -- Thomas Brackett Reed

    "He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears but by diligent
    hard work, he overcame them."
    -- James Reston (about Richard Nixon

    "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
    -- Forrest Tucker

    "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"
    -- Mark Twain

    "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
    -- Mae West

    "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts .. for support rather
    than illumination."
    -- Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

    "He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
    -- Billy Wilder

    "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
    -- Oscar Wilde

  2. #2
    cool85k5's Avatar
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    Oct 2003
    Georgia U.S.A.
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    Those are some good ones!


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