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Thread: Sadly Funny Mental Illness e-mail

  1. #1
    Kung Fu Fighting! NeciFiX's Avatar
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    Sadly Funny Mental Illness e-mail

    My friend got this awhile back...

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------

    MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU

    Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.

    Please select from the following options menu:

    If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

    If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

    If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

    If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on
    the line so we can trace your call.

    If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the
    Mother Ship.

    If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will
    tell you which number to press.

    If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you
    press, nothing will make you happy anyway.

    If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

    If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before
    the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

    If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term
    memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

    If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too
    busy to talk with you.

    If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan,
    lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.

    If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.


    This coming week is National Mental Health Care week.
    You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one unstable
    person to show you care.

    Well, my job is done .....Your turn!
    - NeciFiX

  2. #2
    Tropical Fish Enthusiast jimscott's Avatar
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    Hey - I thought it was funny. The mother ship put me on hold...

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    Interesting

  4. #4
    Moderator Schmoderator Fluorescent fluorite, England PlantAKiss's Avatar
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    I had to press 9. And then I had to press 9. And then I had to press 9....

    "Fox terriers are born with about four times as much original sin in them as other dogs." - Jerome K. Jerome

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