The teacher gave her fifth-grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral to it. The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories.
"Johnny, do you have a story to share?" the teacher asked.
"Yes, ma'am," Johnny replied. "My daddy told me a story about my Aunt Barbara."
"She was a pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife.
"She drank the whiskey on the way down, and then her parachute landed right in the middle of 20 enemy troops. She shot 15 of them with the gun until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with a knife, and then killed the last one with her bare hands."
"Good heavens," cried the horrified teacher. "What kind of moral did your daddy give you from this horrible story?"
"Stay the hell away from Aunt Barbara when she's been drinking."