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Thread: Artic Svalbard Global Seed Vault Caretaker Found Dead

  1. #1
    SirKristoff is a poopiehead Ozzy's Avatar
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    Artic Svalbard Global Seed Vault Caretaker Found Dead

    Artic Svalbard Global Seed Vault Caretaker Found Dead
    Longyearbyen, Norway (IPP) - Tragedy struck the Norwegian Island of Spitsbergen today as the body of the caretaker in charge of the Global Seed Vault (GSV) was found in the green house area of the seed storage compound located in the Svalbard Archipelago.

    The GSV project had made world headlines this week when it was announced to the world that a giant seed vault had been constructed near the town of Longyearbuyen. This town is located only 1,200 KM from the North Pole. Local residents had felt jubilant over the the focus of the world's attention on their frigid little town of 2,075.

    Local authorities held a press conference and announced that the body of the GSV caretaker was found after a two hour search conducted by over 100 volunteers. The Man's name is Timothy Nugent and he was found strangled to death by a large Venus Fly Trap Vine. Only his feet were visible sticking lot of a massive coil of leaves and vines.

    Dr. Kennth Morin, who is a scientist working at the facility, told reporters that global warming had induced out of control growth in the Venus Fly Trap vine which has a voracious appetite for meat. The plant has large clam shaped pods made out of plant material which close tightly around its victim. The plant then digested the meaty victim while the struggling victim is still alive.

    School children love the smaller and more docile version of the Venus Fly Trap. They put flies and other insects near the plant's pods and watch the plant capture the bugs and then "eat them".
    http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.c...dline=s3i31223

    OMG Did you read that? I at first thought I read it wrong. So I reread it twice to make sure I was reading right. Sure enough it said exactly what I thought it said. I just can't believe that global warming has caused VFT to be uncontrolled and now the plants are turning viney. This is not only amazing, but we finally have proof that global warming exists.

    Oh yeah it ate some dude too.

  2. #2
    herenorthere's Avatar
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    I knew something was up when Andrew began quoting $100+ to ship a VFT. On the other hand, we had a good time rappelling down my S. leucophyllas last fall and I look forward to canoeing in the S purps again this spring. I definitely prefer the sedentary pitcher plant.
    Bruce in CT

    Madness is something rare in individuals but in groups, parties, peoples, ages it is the rule. Friedrich Nietzsche

  3. #3
    Always a newbie glider14's Avatar
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    omg! thats crazy! whats the variety of VFT called

    Alex
    Everything is explainable. The seemingly unexplainable is but a result of our insufficient knowledge.- Hans Brewer

  4. #4
    swords's Avatar
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    Hey, finally a VFT that will kill me instead of the other way around!
    I'd better steer clear - he'll be out for vengence!

  5. #5
    Cardiac Nurse JB_OrchidGuy's Avatar
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    Ozzy where do you find these things. LOL That was hillarious!

    Audrey is back!!!
    JB
    Friend me on facebook with JB_orchidguy@yahoo.com.
    Growlist Updated 05/08/13

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