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What Is Your Definition Of A Friend?

jimscott

Tropical Fish Enthusiast
Back in the days of college, long before Al Gore invented the Internet, in my lopsidedly analytical brain, I came up with several terms and phrases, representing different grades of friendships, with basic characteristics of each. Here's how it goes:

Acquaintance:

To me, this is someone that you recognize. You may not know their name, nor may you have even had any conversation. It may be as simple as a head nod or a token acknowledging smile.

Acquaintance-Friend:

This is someone you hardly know but have had a smidge of conflict with....AND you worked it out. Emphasis is on the working things out.

Friend:

This is deeper. The conversations have gone beyond the surfacy and there have been conflict / confontation that gets discussed and overcome.

Close Friend:

This adds the time element and lots more interaction, seeing the best of times and the worst of times.

Inner Circle:

Add to that the spiritual element... praying with one another. Total trust.

Mind you, we're talking about nice, neat categories and people, here, so not everyone and everything can be pigeon-holed. I realized that this is just a useful tool and need be taken with several grains of salt.

And since this was in the days before Internet, it didn't take into consideration cuber friends, of which, at least two people I know have termed as not being real friends, mainly because of having never actually met them.

Whaddya think?
 
I think it can be simplified.

A friend is a person that will get out of bed at 3 in the morning to bail you out of jail.

A buddy will be sitting beside you in the jail cell.

And yes that has happened to me.

I woke in the "drunk tank" one morning and I looked to my right and there was one of my buddies I got drunk with. Even though I barely remember how I got there he was sitting right beside me still passed out.

We had left to go to our dorms (on foot). I made it to my dorm but still got busted. They said they found him after he fell off a set of bleachers and was crawling under them.

After he woke up, we found that the door was unlocked and we both snuck out the door.

That's a true buddy.
 
I think it sounds about right. I think that acquaintance-friend is someone who you know you could make a phone call to and get maybe a hook-up on a car or something of that matter. A friend is someone who you maybe see around, maybe go play basketball with that. To be a close friend it should be something deeper then "hey we were in the same class back in school". It should be that in any situation they would have your back, and you have theirs as well. And inner circle should be almost like family. To the point you would take a bullet for them because you hope they would take one for you. Those are hard to come by. That's why it should only be a few in anyone's life. These are just my thoughts on how I would judge each person in my life.
 
Hmm... An acquaintance, to me, is anyone you know of, and they know of you, but you don't know each other. An acquaintance-friend, to me, would be like a co-worker.

A friend is someone to hang out with, party with, but a CLOSE friend is someone who you'd take the blame for if something went down (within reason, and not that you should rat out people who aren't you close friends. Snitches get stitches.....) or take in when they needed a place to stay. One of my friends has stayed with me on a couple of occasions when her dad had like mental breakdowns, but it seems that every time we spoke, all she ever did was dump all of her problems on me. Very one-sided, and I got tired of it.

A fair-weather friend is someone who will be your good friend, until they disagree with you over something or they don't get their way, then they don't want anything to do with you. Like a lot of people in High School. What REALLY hurts is when you were friends with people, then they find out something about you (like your sexuality hehe) and then they seem to forget all about how you're the ONLY one who stuck up for them when they were the new kid, or were going through a hard time, or something similar.

Then there are opportunistic friends. Friends that just want you as a friend because you get to hang out with all of the hot girls (being gay does have it's benefits. Too bad I can't enjoy them lmao), or want to be your friend just BECAUSE they think having a gay friend is fashionable, or you're really smart and can help them, or you have connections. They're your friends, but they wouldn't be if you didn't have something they wanted, or you weren't someone they wanted to be seen with.

I can't agree with your definition of "inner circle" because not everyone is spiritual, and goesn't by that it implies that only spiritual people can attain this. Anyone watch Desperate Housewives? (Shut up, Ozzy :) ) to me, the main characters would be an inner circle. Not necessarily a clique.

Then, of course, every group of friends has a friend no one really likes... but they are still your friend. Think of Cartman from South Park. I remember one comedian saying "If you don't know who that person is, it's you!"
 
a true friend is someone who, when you call them at 4 am and wake them up and say yah need help they dont ask why in the hell your calling them, they just ask where yah are and what they need to do.........i really and truely only have one such friend........would assume my brothers would do the same but it has yet to be tested.....the friendship has been.....
 
I spent a lot of time analyzing what friend means and developing a mathematical formula for classifying them and then discovered I don't have any anymore.
 
A friend is someone who fixes your thread titles... :angel: :blush:

Just kidding. I don't think there is a way to italicize titles, so I just removed the [ i ] things.

xvart.
 
Xvart: Thanx!

Bruce: You're as analytically nuts as I am!

Clint: I don't even classify someone who doesn't want to reconcile with you or just dumps you a friend. The main criterion is what I refer to as "inter-personal relationship maintenance"... and the willingness to work things out.

Looks like one's specific mindset and experiences also determine what we call friends. I can't relate to being bailed out of jail and many cannot relate to the spiritual aspect.

Anyways, this was my way of defining things and I am curious to how that coincides with others.

So... can someone you only interact with in cyberspace be considered a friend?
 
  • #10
A true friend is someone who cares about you, someone you can tell anything to, someone who would do anything for you...and who calls you a dumb*** every day to make sure you stay grounded in life.


So... can someone you only interact with in cyberspace be considered a friend?

Awww! Absolutely! There are people I know online I definitely consider to be friends. Andrew...Schloaty...to name a few. Shoot...there are a lot of people here I've "seen" grow up, go to college, marry girlfriends, buy their first house, have babies, etc. Not being physically close to someone does not invalidate the feelings of love or friendship one has for the people you get to know in a personal manner.
 
  • #11
i think the easiest way to tell who you consider a friend is when yah get a call from them and they need some help with something, be it helping chop down a tree, change oil on a vehicle, need help watching their kid for a bit while they run errands and you dont stop and think "whats in it for me?" if its within your power to do it at that particular time yah just say sure, why not. as far as levels of friends they can be as numerous as a person wants to make them or as simple but thats on the individual. true to the core friendships tend to be rare and tend to be tested on a regular basis but both parties tend to shrug off the bad that goes with the good and continue on.

as for "cyber friends" yeah i believe they count as friends........chances of them being to the core friends though is hard to tell via just an electronic interaction though........but sometimes it can happen.....ive seen ppl on forums rally to help someone they have never laid eyes on because they view that person to be good and honest and truely in need of help.......
 
  • #12
And once in awhile one gets to meet them! I've gotten together with elgecko 5x and JBL twice. In a fluke set of job circumstances I was in Burbank and got together with Wicked Thistle.
 
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