These "shoes" are an abomination. I wouldn't wear these if they were the last "shoes" on earth, and I was trapped on an island in a sea of sewage.
You want something really cool? Go commission Miskeen to paint a pair of jeans with cartooned Nepenthes vining up one leg and wrap around the waist, ending with a pitcher where a button fly is. I'd wear something weird like that. It's so crazy tacky that would be awesome. I bet that'd cost like 500 bucks lmao, but at least it would be a one of a kind. I need something from Miskeen; They're so creative. And that song on their website is stuck in my head like a fat person in a VW!