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Thread: I have a problem

  1. #9
    cmm889's Avatar
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    I think its time for a nice dinner and some flowers homey. even she will understand that mistakes will be made, but if a significant other of mine ever goofed on that even if it was a complete mistake I'd feel like a complete ***... I'd know it wasnt a real dilemma but it would suck still... show her she's more important and work on the calling her babe or cupcake or suga momma or hun or whatever your going to call her.

    but a nice date can work wonders
    good luck

  2. #10
    Whats it to ya? Finch's Avatar
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    We call it memory. We remember past people and experiences and sometimes we mix up. It happens. I still can occasionally mix up the months, family birthdates and whatnot. All my life my mother occasionally called me Dana (my fathers name) when she was not paying attention. Have you ever called a pencil a pen by accident? Oh no! [/sarcasm]

    There is nothing wrong with you! It happens because sometimes we can get mixed up when not paying attention. If you listen closely you will hear your girlfriend make verbal mix ups too. Having it happen to you with regards to her name is no big deal... well it is... but it isnt any problem with you. You remember your ex girlfriend because you were with her a long time. You might even think of her sometimes offhand. So? You cant suddenly forget your past, and your girlfriend should not expect you to have to.
    that makes no logic

  3. #11
    Doing it wrong until I do it right. xvart's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phissionkorps View Post
    Always worked for me, and I've been with tons of women. As long as you're good at being convincing, you're home free. That approach always results in an argument, but you just have to know how to come out on top, so in the end, she's the one apologizing.
    Oh, believe you me, I know what you're saying. However, duping a bunch of women with some cliche lines isn't necessarily a good thing. In fact, what you describe is exactly like something I caught on a clip of the Real World last week or the week before when that guy is trying to trick his girlfriend into taking him back and goes into the bathroom to force himself to cry. "I'm not making myself cry; I'm just releasing some tears. It always works with the ladies." Now there's a good, solid relationship and he should definitely be proud. I consider my wife and I both to be very intelligent, and whenever we argue we always play that game, feeding lines, manipulating statements, the works, but more for fun since neither she nor I are shallow enough to miss it; however, whenever I really truly want to win I'll push it, and I'll win; but that doesn't make me a winner.

    My point is, you don't need to feed lines to your girlfriend, nep_ak. Just be honest with her and talk to her about how big of a part of your life your ex was (which may explain why you sometimes say her name instead), but then explain exactly why it didn't work out; and how your current girlfriend and you have a much healthier relationship and how much more fulfilling it is.

    xvart.
    "The tragedy of life is not that every man loses; but that he almost wins."

    "Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?"

  4. #12
    BigBella's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by xvart View Post
    Oh, believe you me, I know what you're saying. However, duping a bunch of women with some cliche lines isn't necessarily a good thing. In fact, what you describe is exactly like something I caught on a clip of the Real World last week or the week before when that guy is trying to trick his girlfriend into taking him back and goes into the bathroom to force himself to cry. "I'm not making myself cry; I'm just releasing some tears. It always works with the ladies." Now there's a good, solid relationship and he should definitely be proud. I consider my wife and I both to be very intelligent, and whenever we argue we always play that game, feeding lines, manipulating statements, the works, but more for fun since neither she nor I are shallow enough to miss it; however, whenever I really truly want to win I'll push it, and I'll win; but that doesn't make me a winner.

    My point is, you don't need to feed lines to your girlfriend, nep_ak. Just be honest with her and talk to her about how big of a part of your life your ex was (which may explain why you sometimes say her name instead), but then explain exactly why it didn't work out; and how your current girlfriend and you have a much healthier relationship and how much more fulfilling it is.

    xvart.
    Yeah, sincere? Yeah, I can do sincere . . .

    “Sì perché l'autorità dell'opinione di mille nelle scienze non val per una scintilla di ragione di un solo . . ."

    -- Galileo "Biff" Galilei

  5. #13
    Stay chooned in for more! Clint's Avatar
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    To me she's being overly sensitive... but I'm a dude and stuff like this doesn't seem like a big deal to me but women in general are more emotional... at least on the surface. They over analyze more than men. One exception though. My mother has called me Kelly a few times...... that really angers me, but I hate my "brother". Hate is a strong word... I try not to hate anyone, but you get the point. I'm rambling again.

    If I were in your situation, I'd just ignore the problem and hope it goes away. Like herpes. OMG just kidding but it popped into my head and I had to say it. If it doesn't eventually, then tell her it's a "medical condition" called Parapraxia and you feel terrible, but you couldn't help it. Don't mention that everyone experiences it at some time or another....

  6. #14
    nepenthes_ak's Avatar
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    Thanks for all the help.

  7. #15
    JMurphy97's Avatar
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    Yeah some are too emotional. It was a mistake you say. But how would you feel if she was calling you one of her old boyfriends names? If you really like this one get everyone before out of your head. Do not even think of them when you are alone.

  8. #16
    ilbasso's Avatar
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    I don't think that you mentioned how long you dated the one with the deleted nickname. Was a great length of time? How old were you?

    Who knows why this stuff really happens? I'm no psychologist, but I wouldn't be surprised if there were so many potential factors that could contribute to this. Things that have happened in particularly influential years of my life burrow in deeper than, say, last month. Were the circumstances and the time surrounding the previous relationship particularly memorable for other reasons? Something could be triggering something on a level that you aren't even aware of.

    Of course NONE of these factors matter to the gal but I can understand wanting to get to the bottom of why this happens for your own peace of mind.

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