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Thread: I have a problem

  1. #1
    nepenthes_ak's Avatar
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    I have a problem

    My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 9 months, we get in occasional arguments, but who doesn't? One that has happened recently is I do something that is reference to my EX who I've posted about who some of you know is a total... deleted.

    Any ways, I really am totally over my ex, I despise her and never want to talk to her again really. She ruined all of my attempted relation ships up until my current girlfriend who put up with her crap. Calling the girls names, finding ways to piss them off, she even went as far as putting lip gloss all under my and the other girls car handles so when you grabbed them, you got lip gloss all over your hands. Pretty nice huh? This gives you an Idea about how much I dislike, and boarder line hate this person.

    Well on to the point, Ive made mistakes, Ive accidentally called my current girlfriend my ex's name. They both start with A's so its not like they are similar, but I just dont understand why I do. Ive done it 3-4 times through out the relation ship, and its really up set her until recently when I accidentally got her birth month mixed up with my ex's.

    But I just dont understand WHY, when I honestly dislike my ex, I still have these thoughts in my head, and im not even thinking about her, its been over a year and a half since we broke up. 8 months since we really talked. Am I the only person? What can I do? Am I forced to calling my gf Babe from now on?
    Last edited by xvart; 07-08-2008 at 09:24 PM. Reason: easy!

  2. #2
    HPLH's Avatar
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    maybe your new girlfriend isnt making a big of an impact on you as your ex did?

    it could just be because the names are close, happens to me sometimes with friends.

  3. #3

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    I agree with HPLH. There are certain people that come into our lives that really make an impact. You can sit there and say that you are over her and you very well may be, but there will always be a little piece of you that still has feelings for her not matter how hard you try not to. I know because I still love my ex and it has been 2 years since we broke up. It took almost a year and a half before we could sit and talk like adults and now we are really good friends.
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  4. #4
    Metal King
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    My "significant others" b-day is november 4th and the last SO was born december 5th- I find I can get in a LOT of hot water making that mistake and we've been together 8 years and I am SUPER scatterbranied

    you might just have to get used to taking the heat lol
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  5. #5
    OMG h8 pings MrFlyTrap2's Avatar
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    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24274335

    I was talking about this with someone else before. This article was pretty interesting. In short, our brains don't learn from our mistakes... we just learn to do the same mistake faster and better next time.

    One of the ways to deal with it is to find out how to stop referencing them in your head by the A similarity. If you're not paying attention, your head might just pull what it comes to first correct combination path you've seem to have coined in your head.

    Starts with A + Girl + Dating
    is the same as the ex who is
    Starts with A + Girl + Dating

    A good memorization technique is to play with the word, not just try to memorize it. And if you can get it in your head to focus on another letter. Example Ashly, the smoker smokes. No matter how corny, if you just repeat something stupid like that out loud, you'll really get stuck remembering the distinct difference between someone like Ashly and Angie.

    Or just point and say, "you" instead...
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    I gotta agree with Nate.....I've never called a girlfriend anything else than "hey you". Tell her you really don't care about the other girl anymore, and if she still...complains...give her a taste of her own medicine. Flip the situation on her and tell her she's causing you unnecessary stress and whatnot because you're constantly worried she's going to flip out on you for a simple mistake. Say something about feelings and whatnot....works every time!
    Z polski y dumny
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  7. #7
    Doing it wrong until I do it right. xvart's Avatar
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    As for her getting upset about it: you just gotta understand that even though she knows that there's nothing going on, it still may upset her to think about someone else in her capacity.It's just a simple reminder that she wasn't always that person in her life. It may be totally ridiculous, but it's just something you gotta either correct or get used to. You also have to realize that it could be slightly embarrassing to her, regardless of if it was intentional or not.

    Quote Originally Posted by nepenthes_ak View Post
    What can I do? Am I forced to calling my gf Babe from now on?
    Honestly, that's not a bad idea. I have only ever called my wife by her first name once the entire time we've been together. The only reason I can specifically remember that one time is because it was really awkward and afterwords we both stopped and discussed whether or not it was the first time. Talk about a good laugh. Having a "pet name" will be more unique.

    Furthermore, I don't think it's unreasonable for you to explain to her that while she may be insignificant now, your ex was a big part of your life for a while, and sometimes mistakes happen.

    Quote Originally Posted by phissionkorps View Post
    Say something about feelings and whatnot....works every time!
    No, it doesn't. Maybe in TV-land...

    xvart.
    "The tragedy of life is not that every man loses; but that he almost wins."

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    Always worked for me, and I've been with tons of women. As long as you're good at being convincing, you're home free. That approach always results in an argument, but you just have to know how to come out on top, so in the end, she's the one apologizing.
    Z polski y dumny
    Prayer - how to do nothing and still think you're helping.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5F5aCUNE4Z8
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