User Tag List

Informational! Informational!:  0
Likes Likes:  0
Results 1 to 7 of 7

Thread: Miracle Drug May Reverse The Curse Of Aging

  1. #1
    SirKristoff is a poopiehead Ozzy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2001
    Location
    Greenswamp, NC
    Posts
    13,747
    Mentioned
    3 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Miracle Drug May Reverse The Curse Of Aging

    http://www.courant.com/features/colu...4256681.column

    Miracle Drug May Reverse The Curse Of Aging
    Jim Shea
    April 1, 2009
    If you haven't heard of Lirpa Loof, you soon will.

    Now undergoing final testing by the FDA, "the wonder drug of all wonder drugs," as it is being billed by its Swedish manufacturer, Dopeup, could turn back the hands of time for millions of aging baby boomers.

    In a controlled study involving 50,000 herring fishermen and statuesque blondes, Lirpa Loof was shown to remove plaque from arteries, return elasticity to the skin, boost energy, burn fat, increase muscle mass, improve hearing, restore up to 90 percent of night vision, cure erectile dysfunction and grow hair.

    According to Dopeup CEO Bridget Nielsen, Lirpa Loof is poised to become the most popular and profitable drug in the history of pharmaceuticals. "What we are about to offer people is nothing short of the 'Benjamin Button' experience in a little pink pill," Nielsen said, referring to the film about a man who ages backward.

    Lirpa Loof is a compound extracted from the exotic Lirpa Loof Ekoj plant, found only in a remote region of the Amazon. The meat-eating plant is a much larger and more dangerous cousin of the Venus Fly Trap and has been known to devour a small water buffalo.

    Although Lirpa Loof Ekoj does not grow outside of South America, a Fairfield County hedge fund manager purchased one on the black market two years ago and was using it to keep neighborhood dogs from defecating on his lawn.

    Swedish scientists have been secretly testing Lirpa Loof on volunteers for the past 10 years, and the results have been described as "astounding," particularly as a reverse-aging drug.

    One well-known participant is Marie Douglas-David, the Swedish countess now engaged in a nasty divorce with former United Technologies CEO George David.

    Although Douglas-David, who has been taking the drug for more than nine years, claims to be 36 years old, according to the study report she is actually 74 and was just 4-foot-11 when she began her involvement.

    Besides such common side effects as dizziness, dry mouth and the occasional loose stool, Lirpa Loof can also produce severe bouts of gullibility.

    Persons experiencing this symptom are advised to consult the calendar.

  2. #2
    A yellow M&M Jefforever's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    over the rainbow (in the U.S.)
    Posts
    1,637
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Wow...

    Cool that you found that link though.

  3. #3
    Californian in DC DrWurm's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    DC Area
    Posts
    1,169
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    That's incredible, I wonder where the name "Lirpa Loof" Comes from....

    -Louis Friend

  4. #4
    Is ready to take this hobby to a whole new level DavyJones's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Cleveland, Ohio
    Posts
    958
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Is this darn "holiday" over yet.
    "We are in a sense the Universe trying to understand itself. By Observing it we are observing what we are." - Phillip Plait

    Growlist: Updated 1/11/12 http://www.terraforums.com/forums/sh...d.php?t=110846

  5. #5
    Halt's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Southern Caalli.
    Posts
    1,160
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    What were you googling? Anyway, who would want to live forever in this damned economy?

  6. #6
    swords's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Location
    Cernunnos Woods
    Posts
    8,120
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Hmm, weird it's on the actual link. The name Jim Shea is close to Robert Shea co-author of the merry prankster-ridden Illuminatus! Trilogy book. However, Robert's been dead for 10 years or more! Is it a prank from beyond the grave?! lol!

    Tim Leary used to send out emails updating people on his activities for a while after his death (they were delay timed/scheduled before he died) but it still freaked people out! lol!

  7. #7
    Hello, I must be going... Not a Number's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Los Angeles, CA
    Posts
    7,506
    Mentioned
    5 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    sdrawkcab
    Grand Hotel... always the same. People come, people go. Nothing ever happens.

Similar Threads

  1. Police called for "Avada Kedavra" curse
    By SarraceniaScott in forum General Discussions
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 08-03-2007, 05:57 PM
  2. Curse this blasted addiction of mine!!!!
    By ilbasso in forum General Discussions
    Replies: 29
    Last Post: 03-30-2007, 07:03 AM
  3. Drug and Alcohol Test
    By FarmerDave in forum General Discussions
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 11-04-2006, 01:00 AM
  4. hey any drug experts in here........im serious....
    By rattler in forum General Discussions
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 08-30-2006, 03:42 PM
  5. Drug problem.....................
    By rattler in forum General Discussions
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 11-11-2004, 10:34 PM

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •