A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Hey, I
haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look
"What do you mean?", said the pirate, "I feel fine."
Bartender: "What about the wooden leg? You didn't have
Pirate: "Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a
cannon ball, but I'm fine now."
Bartender: "Well, OK, but what about that hook? What
happened to your hand?"
Pirate: "We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and
got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted
with a hook. I'm fine, really."
Bartender: "What about that eye patch?"
Pirate: "Oh, one day we were at sea and a flock of birds
flew over. I looked up and one of them crapped in my eye."
Bartender: "You're kidding," said the bartender! , "you couldn't lose
an eye just from bird crap."
Pirate: "It was my first day with the hook"