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Thread: Discretion Needed

  1. #9
    jafvortex93's Avatar
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    i agree with both flytrap and seedjar, the only problem is...when one asks for help, either take the help or dont. but dont (as a new grower) start bashing the helper's advise based on what you've read. because if your gunna deny what others are offering, then why ask in the first place? thats the only thing that ive gotten frustrated with as of late. Because even tho im still in my first year of growing i come here and see an interesting titled thread on the side bar of the chatbox i will look at it and read it hoping to gain more knowledge about that certain plant or species. But to be 3 post-replys down and see someone negating all of the above's remarks or simply saying something ridiculous would be very confusing to someone that is brand new to cp's or the forum alone. Also in regards to the "gimme-gimme syndrome" thread that was started before, THAT is a prime example of things that need to be regulated more because simply sending a PM doesnt seem to be a well thought out plan of action. Lets say i get a pm asking for capensis seed, and then seedjar You get a pm asking for the same capensis seed from the same guy and then he/she does the same to someone else. how would anyone else know unless a public statement or post was made about he/she's actions?

    -Javier
    Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

  2. #10
    wicked good plants! Presto's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jafvortex93 View Post
    Lets say i get a pm asking for capensis seed, and then seedjar You get a pm asking for the same capensis seed from the same guy and then he/she does the same to someone else. how would anyone else know unless a public statement or post was made about he/she's actions?
    Report It To The Mods!! ::armflail::
    -Emily

  3. #11
    jafvortex93's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Presto View Post
    Report It To The Mods!! ::armflail::
    yes brother i understand completely but the issue i have is that how would i know that this person is asking for seed of the same variety from 7-8 other members, reducing the amount that can be dispensed among everyone else? its simply unfair to some people and i can see how others are getting over the top fed up with greediness.
    Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

  4. #12
    wicked good plants! Presto's Avatar
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    You wouldn't know what such a person was doing to other people, no. But we don't monitor PMs...the only way we know what's going on is if people report them to us and say "Hey, I think this person is being greedy/a jerk." If we get reports from several people saying some jerk is demanding seeds, then it's clear to us what's going on and it's easy for us to make a call on how to handle it.
    -Emily

  5. #13
    Charlatan lizasaur's Avatar
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    I hope you're making lolz of teh recent pest and not seriously calling Ms. Emily a "brother" o_o

    Anyway, might as well throw in my view:

    Whatever happened to "treating others as you wish to be treated"?
    Why should good people have to get bent over and just take everything a troll wants to dish out because they have nothing else better to do? And why it it excusable for someone to go out of their way to misbehave without consequence? It's one thing when it's a kid and they don't know better, but I think free passes for that should be cut off after age 10 when by then one would've learned how to conduct themselves. To excuse bad behavior, especially INTENTIONALLY bad behavior is rather unjust and defeats the purpose of having any social guidelines at all.

    I'm sorry, but this is a forum, a public forum, and it has rules. If someone can't handle the rules, they don't belong. If one can't handle social situations, then they shouldn't get involved in any in the first place. It's absolutely unfair to inflict bad people upon good people that are minding themselves, and making everyone else suffer, or forcing them to leave because they can't stand it...why for?
    And then turn on people that have reached their limits and call them the jerks, that's just...beyond my logic. Because everyone here, we're all good people. We're all typically nice and patient with genuine new-to-the-hobby peeps that might have questions. But we are all human, and we all have our limits. Nothing is infinite, patience included. Just like water in a bottle, garbage in a landfill, and the number of pokes a sleeping bear can take from a sharp stick. Ignoring only works for so long, and doesn't work at all when it's a troll that knows he's getting under people's skin, and persists until capacity for torment is reached. It is at that point, where I feel it's natural to defend/stand up for yourself, and whatever else that is yours that is at stake (i.e., this forum). Because I think there's two reactions in nature (and in humans, as we're part of nature) to something bad: run away, or try to kill it. Personally, I'm aware I have a short fuse and I have hard time not trying to obliterate whatever/whoever is giving me a headache Sorry. It is a serious fault of mine, and one I'm trying to work on. But...I'm not the only person like that. Or maybe I am, and everyone else in the "lynch mob" is just standing up for themselves and what's theirs (this forum) even though it's a senseless and futile fight. I see it as a congregation of people in agreement that are making a public outcry, which can occur between the first click of the report button and the final bringing down of the banhammer. So bravo to anyone who has the restraint to ignore blatant insults and stupidity until it's rectified.

    I suppose ideally all those people would just click the "report this post/person" button quietly and walk away in the meantime, but that's a little unfair and unrealistic, because:
    1- No one likes taking a punch without taking a swing back. Or there's only so much abuse they can take before they defend themselves.
    2- In the real world, all bets are off on people being nice when they're faced with blantant..erm...rudeness. It goes back to the threshold of patience, and in today's "instant satisfaction" society, people don't bother with tolerance if they can see it'll be of no good.
    3- It's just garbage that the established members have to walk away from a situation that shouldn't occur in the first place. That is just sad, and wholly not right when it happens.

    I'm not saying I support the stupid fights, nor am I proud of the ones I've gotten involved with or the the n00b stage I had. Emily is certainly right, it's not just a peaceful, easy way of settling things, but it is the rules, and EVERYONE should follow them. I'm just trying to explain my perception on "what really goes on". Please don't hate me :<

  6. #14
    Fred P's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by seedjar View Post
    I'll agree though that the overall attitude is becoming more and more bellicose around here - I often find myself choosing not to participate in discussions as such these days.
    ~Joe
    The main reason you haven't seen me around much either.

    I got your back Lois!

  7. #15
    sarracenia lover dionae's Avatar
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    I'd have to say as a noob, and not a kid noob, this place is interesting. I can def tell there are several different age groups. I like the threads and pics though.

  8. #16
    wicked good plants! Presto's Avatar
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    Liz, in response to your observations...I really do understand why you guys get frustrated. Trust me, I get frustrated too!!

    We don't take action on individuals on a whim. We don't just ban people because we don't like them. We give people warnings (three strikes), we look at evidence, and we discuss appropriate courses of action.

    These things take time. Sometimes it may seem on the surface that nothing's going on, but behind the scenes we are working to resolve the problem -- whether that means stuffing the rules down their throat until they GET IT, or deciding whether to give them the hammer.

    All we're asking is that you guys let us do our job. Again, often times if a bunch of people start ragging on somebody, it just makes them defensive, which escalates things and makes the situation even more difficult for us.
    -Emily

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