What is green and smells like the inside of a red Venus flytrap?
The inside of a green Venus flytrap!
What carnivorous plant cultivar drinks blood?
What types of Drosera are very complicated?
The ones that come from a complex!
Hey vegetarians. EVEN PLANTS THINK YOU'RE WRONG!!!!
"Only when you live to learn, will you learn to live"
What's green and looks like a red nep?
A green nep.
so I really thought this warranted being shared with you all. It's not really a CP joke but it involves three CPers. Myself, Heli, and Wireman were discussing how slow a certain species of Nepenthes is growing from seed compared to other species when Heli, who is rather hyperactive for those that don't know him, says, "Man I can't wait anymore for my seedlings to grow up they just take forever!" This was only the fifteenth time Heli had mentioned this in the past few hours and we were all getting tired of hearing it so I responded by saying, "Heli stop being so impatient!" Not missing a beat Wireman then says, "He's so impatient its a miracle he doesn't have downy mildew!"
NCSU's Carnivore Nut
Original President of the CCPS & Co-Founder
So this is coming back, huh? Fine!
Which carnivorous plant can you find after it rains?
A rainbow plant!
Which carnivorous plant can generate electricity?
A waterwheel plant!
Why do you use Drosera to eat?
Because they have spoon leaves and forked leaves.
Which Venus flytraps breathe fire?
The red and green dragons.
This next one isn't really a carnivorous plant joke, but just a plant joke.
Why do flowers glow?
Because of the influorescence!
Last edited by Plant Planter; 07-07-2013 at 05:36 PM.
Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there were two evil friars living outside this small village. The friars had tried unsuccessfully to overtake and capture the town, but finally this time, they believed they had hit upon a foolproof scheme that would allow them to rule the village. They had, through mad scientist experiments in their floral shop, come up with a plant that would devour the townspeople one by one until none were left. They set forth to put their plan into action by planting the man-eating plants so they encircled the village.
As the plants rapidly grew, they began devouring everything living in their path. The townspeople grew frightened; who or what would save them from their eminent doom? Finally, the town's elder remember Hugh, a woodcutter who lived on the outskirts of town. Frantically, the townspeople penned a desperate plea for help, tied it to the leg of a pigeon, and directed the bird toward Hugh's cabin.
Meanwhile, outside of town, Hugh had received the note from the townspeople, and realizing they were in grave danger, set forth to do what he needed to do. He honed his mightiest axe to razor-sharpness, grabbed his hat, and off he went.
Chopping his way through the dense vines, he single-handedly destroyed the carnivorous plants one by one, until all were destroyed. Then he set out to rid the village of the evil friars, chasing them out of town. The town was saved!!! The people rejoiced and knighted Hugh for his brave and timely efforts to save the village!!!
And the moral of the story is:
Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.