Chuck Norris facts
On the 6th day, God created Chuck Norris. On the 7th day, God rested. On the 8th day, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked God and took over.
Chuck Norris just wanted to see what the Apple logo tasted like.
The only guaranteed thing in life is death. The only guaranteed thing in death is Chuck Norris.
Each individual hair in Chuck Norrises beard spends 2 hours a week using a Bowflex.
Chuck Norris spends his Saturdays climbing mountains and meditating in peaceful soliude. Sundays are for oral sex, KFC and Tequila.
Chuck Norris can swallow a hotdog sideways.
Chuck Norris wore jeans so tight his wife became sterile.
Chuck Norris took 3 of every animal on his ark. Then he called Noah a ***** and roundhoused kicked a Minotaur.
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Chuck Norris has attempted a cannonball dive only once in his life. There is no longer liquid water on Mars.
Chuck Norris does not use computers. He gets all the information he needs by rubbing his beard on Steve Jobs' head.
Chuck Norris solved a rubic's cube so fast someone watching exploded immediately.
Chukc Norris kills anyone who misspells his na---
Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone
Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet. He scares the sh*t out of it
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars. That's why there are no signs of life
Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice cubes toget together
Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using Pokémon cards