Yes, yes, I know. It's a really weird request.
But I really need some help with this. The local raccoons have been driving me MAD lately. Normally I wouldn't mind having them around since all they really do is eat a bit of my cats' dry food, but one of my cats just delivered a litter of 3 kittens and I don't want them harmed. Just tonight the mother had to fend off two raccoons that were--I'm not kidding--about a foot away from where she and her kittens were resting. I know for a fact that raccoons are omnivorous. I don't want to have any of the kittens, erm, EATEN. Do any of you have issues with raccoons, and if so, do you have any sort of way of keeping them out? Right now my strategy is to just charge at them with a seven-iron golf club.
Also, don't tell me to just get a fence. I know that. I already have a seven-foot-tall one.