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Circle of trust

Jcal

Decumbent Fanatic
I'm going to rant alittle....

I'm not as active on the forum as I have been in the past but the circle of people I trust in this community is getting smaller and that bothers me. Like most I would fully expect it to grow!

I find myself selling most of my plants because its the safer option for me and here's why.

1. Giveaways - most people are grateful but a lot of people give you grief about shipping around their schedule or the plant being smaller, bigger, roots being too big! You name it I have heard it. So my future giveaways will have strict guidelines.

2. Scams - I have gotten scammed from 3 people this year that I can remember. And I'm sure the names would shock you. Not going to admins because tried that and it didn't work. Not looking for someone else to resolve the issue. Simple fix for me is to only trade with the people I trust. Most likely if your not on a first name basis I will be weary.

I'm sure things will level out. I have a short memory and hardly hold grudges. And it's getting really easy to spot the scams on other forums. Also note that this is not a advertisement about me selling plants. I have none for sale! But that is my go too for now.
 
Strange, I see no reported PMs or posts from you. Nor do I have an PMs or emails directly from you about any issues. So I have no idea in what way you've tried to come to me for help on any of these issues. ???
Andrew
 
I did contact you. For the first one that happened awhile ago.

The most current instances have not been reported.
 
Like you, I've decided in recent times that TF is no longer an environment I regard as viable as far as trades or giveaways are concerned. I've come to this conclusion largely because I find many recipients of free plants/seeds have been rude and/or ungrateful and so I've deemed this a community unworthy of the plants I have to share and will either distribute them elsewhere or send them only to people I have an established relationship with.
 
This is sad to read
 
This is sad to read

Yeah.... I've been here for almost 11 years and very rarely have I experienced the negativity. There's a lot of 'Tamlin Effect' going around!
 
how do you spot the scammers? do share ^_^
 
It can be a bit of hard work to find people outright who are going to scam you. There are usually things in common with their posts or replies/PM's that suggest they're trying to get around some important detail.
It is very sad to hear this community is becoming untrustworthy, as there have been a great number of generous people here and I do keep finding only those same people tend to post giveaways and trades. I've had issues myself as well, open a giveaway and get in contact with the winners, and half the people don't even bother to contact me or go through with their agreed side of the deal. I was planning on trying to do some giveaways here soon to pay back the generosity of those I've received from (and it would have probably been a lot), but I too am starting to wonder if I will move those to other forums......
 
My biggest peeve is when people never contact me post-trade to let me know they got the package, if it settled in well, or germinated, etc.

I decided a while ago that most of my trades would be for members who have done trades or giveaways of their own, unless it's something I have tons of - like seeds from very prolific Drosera.
 
  • #10
My biggest peeve is when people never contact me post-trade to let me know they got the package

Thats the most common problem I've encountered, and its behavior I find inexcusable. I would also have to state that almost half of the instances I have given away plants for free, I don't even get a "thank you". I was raised to believe that if someone gives you something, you owe them a gesture of appreciation; a simple thank you will suffice. Anything less is rude IMO.
 
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  • #11
My pet peeve is the cast of characters who show up at giveaways and no place else on the forum. Which is why all my recent giveaways have been for participating members only, participation defined by me.
 
  • #12
My pet peeve is the cast of characters who show up at giveaways and no place else on the forum. Which is why all my recent giveaways have been for participating members only, participation defined by me.

Precisely. This is the second most persistent issue I see happening here; the "take everything, offer nothing" crowd is alive and well on TF. I suspect some of these people have been propagating the news to friends - "you can get free plants and seeds here and all you gotta do is sign up!" - and so there are dozens of characters whose only participation here is to get on every single giveaway listing.
 
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  • #13
You do wish to shake it up a bit sometimes, put something out there that others might find difficult and/or costly to obtain. It has always been considered good form to offer up something in return even if the original poster of the giveaway wants nothing in return. Beginning of the summer lots of stuff came in, later a lot less so. If I participate in a member's giveaway, I always offer up something. Most of the time folks say, "Thanks but no." Which is cool. Not to point fingers but sometimes you get, "check out my growlist" and say x, y, and/or z would be great. So then the answer is this is being treated for aphids or mites, and that is too small, or something. Might be easier to say, check back with me in a month or spring, or whatever. If something is glacially slow growing and pulling a cutting or leaf or stolon is dicey you don't want to do it, unless maybe for something you really wish for. If I offer up something I will do so by name or noid or 'though to be' but never do I want to say look what I have and no you can't have it. At least I hope I don't. That said, most of the people I have traded with have treated me well and fairly. I do still wonder, admittedly off topic, why oh why, is there such a dearth of info about and availability of U. volubilis and AU red Aldrovanda in the US? I saw where someone in the UK and AU (logically) had it respectively, but that is it. Are they hopeless to cultivate, has no one tried? Back on track though, I figure some of us here have at least one plant that just does very well and you most always have it for trade. For me that would be Japanese Aldrovanda. From time to time I will send plants to people without knowing the chances they will live or die. Sort of a given, and not that I want those plants to die, but to give others a chance to try. When you get something in return all the better. Of course for those with slower growing Neps, hyper rare utrics or whatever are in a totally different boat.
 
  • #14
I must agree with all that has been said. It's truly very sad. I feel like the community and activity on here is dwindling, as I certainly remember a much more positive and active community when I joined a couple of years ago... I especially feel like what SubRosa said is very true. Whenever I look over the trading post, I hardly recognize anyone in the comment section who has entered into various giveaways. It's sad that people's greed has overcome their interest in participating on this site. Certainly one of the reasons why I'm not on here as often as I used to be..
 
  • #15
Perhaps we should require a post in the Introduce Yourself board, and maybe one in Grow Lists as well to participate in the Trading Post. It's rather unfortunate that a few people only out to get free stuff are degrading the experiences of many more.
 
  • #16
I don't know that there is a reliable way to enforce that. I'm not a tech wizard, but along that line of thought, perhaps requiring that the first post in the "trading" section be an offering, trade or giveaway before you can sign up to receive.

Then again, that expects people to read, and follow the 'rules'. Which is in and of itself, a super rare phenomenon.
 
  • #17
This is sad to read

I agree.

My biggest peeve is when people never contact me post-trade to let me know they got the package, if it settled in well, or germinated, etc.

Understandable. I always like to know that the package and its contents arrived safely. That being the case, I endeavor to do the same when I'm the recipient.

 
  • #18
My biggest peeve is when people never contact me post-trade to let me know they got the package, if it settled in well, or germinated, etc.

Personally I feel like this is more applicable to giveaways, since the recipient is getting something for free. During a trade I think the most important thing is upholding your end of the deal, so I don't really contact the person I am trading with afterwards unless there is a problem with what I received (which hasn't happened so far).

I have traded some plants that were dead upon arriving at the other end and have been told of that, which I think is important because it means I wasn't able to uphold my end of the deal and it also tells me that I need to do something different next time, like package the plants differently or ship at a different time. If there are no problems like that, though, I don't see an obligation for either party to contact the other. Sure, it doesn't hurt but why should it be necessary?
 
  • #19
This is an interesting thread.

I can say that in my time here on Terraforums that in all my experiences in trading, giving away, or receiving plants I have only had one or maybe two instances where I felt that the other party was a dead-beat. It's unfortunate that some of you other members have felt that to be the case more often than is acceptable.

For me the spirit of giving away plants or trading plants to the terraforums community is one that I have come to accept without expectation, without caveats and without any sense of attachment. I have received plants and seeds in giveaways and in my own life never found the time to post follow up photos, let the grower know how the plant is doing etc, and so when I send plants or seeds I know that it's okay to me if I never hear those details from other growers. In fact, the few plants that have been so important to me that I NEEDED to know how they were doing post-trade, I specified that in the body of the post.

When posting a giveaway on Terraforums - I am well aware that my plants and seeds are most likely headed towards a segment of this hobby's population that falls under the category of: Noobies, transients, half-hearted growers, beginners, and veterans re-starting their collections. It's just the nature of this forum and as far as I have seen it has more or less always been the nature of this forum. This is a place for beginners, lurkers, and the likes.

If you don't like the fact that your plants are going to these non-participating free-loaders, then don't post giveaways. And if you do post giveaways there are many techniques that one can use to ensure that the person who receives the plant(s) is "deserving" of them. Some methods that come to mind are: Thank you members only (few people do that anymore), post count requirements, photo evidence of their growing set up, solving a riddle, or other such fun things like that.

As far as trading valuable plants goes - be discerning. Be picky. Report offenders.

I just sent away a plant of mine that I had grown for the better part of 4 years and the person I sent it to was someone who had no post count so to speak of and has never contributed anything to this forum. Furthermore he lives in an area that I know full well to be almost certain death to a highland Nepenthes. The thing is, I didn't have to send it to him, but I did, because I said I would, because the requirements of my giveaway weren't stringent enough to select against people like that, and I used to BE a grower like that. When I was fresh, I was unworthy, and in some respects maybe I still am, but the fact is, growers extended their arm of charity to me without expectation, and with no strings attached. Did many of those plants perish in my nubile care? Yes. But their generosity was not lost as now I have internalized the spirit of giving and charity and I am unafraid to send valuable plants or seeds all across the country to whomever it may be. Maybe my plants will die, maybe my seeds will never germinate, maybe that person will never even log back onto TF. But in their lives, I know that the spirit of giving and of compassion and selflessness will, in some form, manifest itself within them. That is why I wont stop doing giveaways or unbalanced trades here on TF.

In regards to trust:

"The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them." - Ernest Hemingway
 
  • #20
Couldn't have said it better. At least somebody understands "The Tamlin Effect".
 
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