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Thread: Talking to ex's

  1. #17

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    Quote (schloaty @ Aug. 04 2003,1:02)
    Ha! I guess we're not too much help huh? All this discussion, and you're still stuck! LOL![/QUOTE]
    I wouldn't say that. I personally find reading open discussions from different viewpoints like this to be a great way to understand a situation and its solution better. I wouldn't be surprised if this thread was a great help (or at least I'm hoping so). [img]http://www.**********.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif[/img]

  2. #18
    scottychaos's Avatar
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    Nicholas,
    I see your point too, and its ok to expect that kind of open-mindedness from a potential mate..but..if someone just cant be that "open minded" is that cause to break up? maybe, maybe not..that brings us back to logic vs. emotion!

    (schloaty gets it! [img]http://www.**********.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]http://www.**********.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif[/img]

    as everyone has said, there is no clear-cut right or wrong answer here..it comes down to what works for the specific relationship..
    For me, I gave into the "unreasonable emotion" (and my girlfriend even ADMITTED she was being unreasonable&#33[img]http://www.**********.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif[/img]
    but it still hurt her..so the answer was clear..
    She was more important, even with all her "unreasonableness"! [img]http://www.**********.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif[/img]

    scot

  3. #19

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    Relationships never end, they simply change.
    ...No snowflake ever lands in the wrong place...

  4. #20

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    [img]http://www.**********.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif[/img]
    learn as if you will live forever, live as if you will die
    tomorrow.

  5. #21

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    Lightbulb

    Notice there are no women replying to this thread.

    C
    Endlessly seeking a hybrid Dionaea muscipula big enough to eat my co-workers.

  6. #22

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    Exclamation

    Uh, excuse me, but I'm not a guy -- I did respond to this. And, Schoalty, I don't feel stuck. I gave my opinion of this thread. I agree with you, also, about guys not always comfortable with their emotional sides & gals usually the ones that want to 'talk.' I think some very thoughtful points were made here, especially how unique & changeable relationships are. I realize this is a primarily male board but I would be interested in hearing from some of you females out there on this, myself.
    Restore our biosphere, create a new culture of kindness.

  7. #23
    Moderator Cindy's Avatar
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    Just for lavenderdawn... [img]http://www.**********.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif[/img]

    I used to foolishly believe that platonic friendships can exist after a breakup (mutual or not, it's still OUCH right?) until I've got YELLED at for staying friends by the very same person who suggested that we remained friends!

    After that, I'm thankful that the rest of the axed (pun intended) boyfriends were more HEARTLESS to stay away.

    And they are REALLY good at that 'cos Singapore is only a dot on the world map (umm...actually a full-stop is already too big to represent the area) and I have only met one of them once head-on! And that happened like 10 yrs after we broke up!!! lol [img]http://www.**********.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]http://www.**********.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]http://www.**********.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif[/img]
    Cindy

  8. #24

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    Exclamation

    I guess I have to come out about this a bit more. I don't speak from theory - I have had several "ex's." Most of them I have not a clue where they have gotten themselves off to. And one of them came back & I married him. But one, who also was my oldest son's father (my son is now 22), stayed with me only a couple of years, left/was "asked" to get out, & later married - then divorced - is now back in our lives again. We had a yucky break & then years apart, but he was friends with Tamlin in high school (they are both Gemini - that may be relevant to some) so when he moved back into town, reconnected with him (& sort of with his son who never really knew him). While things between the 3 of us were a little edgy at first & I was very careful how I related with him, we all get along fine now, like the old friends that we are. This ex now has a new partner who we both enjoy & the 4 of us do things together like have dinner at each others' houses, we're planning a Mars watch evening together, etc.
    My point in dragging everyone through all this is that given the time & circumstances, you never know where you may end up. I can certainly see the points of those who have posted before here, but I still have a problem with generalities. And, I am all for trying to stay friendly. You have to do what is right for you in the moment -- with some thought to the future, too. But even so, you just never know...
    I see it all as a big circle with us dancing in & out of it, sometimes just hanging out along the edge & sometimes taking the center spot.
    Restore our biosphere, create a new culture of kindness.

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