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Hilarious listing on ebay

  • #21
No Nascar?
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???

But Richmond is next weekend!!!!
 
  • #22
Next weekend?? Then...why aren't you HERE??? Dooz's Bed & Breakfast is a cheap place to stay and a spit from the track.
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  • #23
[b said:
Quote[/b] ]Dooz's Bed & Breakfast

I thought I was staying with you?
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  • #24
Bugweed gets up and kicks Ozzy in the shin with steel toe boots-----4 times. Stay away from PAK you bigamist! I'll up the ante to three times PAK, and I can cook and do laundry too! And my critters will wash the dishes!!!
 
  • #25
Besides, I have more plants than Ozzy, and I'm better lookin'!
 
  • #26
LOL...now now...no violence! But Bug...your bid is accepted. High bid now stands at 3 marriage proposals.

Ozzy...meet Dooz. (I extend my hand)...Dooz, meet Ozzy. (We shake hands).
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I pick up names like a dog picks up ticks.
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I answer to many...signing Xmas cards is ####.
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  • #28
Spec...I am considering ALL offers.  
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Hmmmm...now that I think about it. I might just offer myself up on eBay! .......
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Then again...that might be right embarrassin' when I don't get any bids.
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  • #29
i'll bid $10.00!
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(you had better not get rid of your plants when I marry you!
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)
 
  • #30
Going once... (bugweed, if youw ant her you better bid!!!)
 
  • #31
Now wait Spec...I can't be bought! The bidding is in number of marriage proposals. Bug is offering three requests of my hand in marriage...so someone must make an offer of four marriage proposals to beat him out. (He's probably sweatin' bullets cuz he might get stuck with me...hehe...just like a crane fly on a capensis).
 
  • #32
OK this is war! Spec, you ain't got what it takes to beat this ole fella! My offer stands, plus, the bogging experience of a lifetime, every known bog in the US (including Hawaii), all across the United States, final stop, Apalachicola in late summer. Beat that, youngster!!
 
  • #33
Errrrr...Bug? This is a good example of why proper punctuation can be so important in conveying meaning.

"Beat that youngster!"....that could land you in jail for assault!

"Beat that, youngster!"...now there's your challenge!

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And you're still high bidder. I guess Ozzy don't luv me no' more.
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  • #34
Speaking of web pages taking on lives of their own...
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I read the text, and it's hilarious, but I still never got the bit about the butt pimple (which is probably a VERY good thing). I can't believe how popular this got. Well, at least he deserves it. I bet his ex family-in-law is prepping some form of lawsuit even as we speak (God bless the American legal system
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).

And PAK, don't count yourself out for Virginian proposals just yet, keep in mind how many Virginians are transplanted New Englanders
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.

No proposals from me, I'm sorry to say, but good luck to getting more from those with collections that are greater then mine
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  • #35
Sorry for not responding but my other wife made me spend time with her, but I've broke free and I'm going to put my bid in. I know that your worth can't be counted in dollars so I can't put it in values of dollars. My bid is an endless supply of grapes fed to you on a daily basis.

I can do all the things bug can do and feed you grapes.

[b said:
Quote[/b] ]Besides, I have more plants than Ozzy, and I'm better lookin'!
You only wish you looked like the pic in my profile
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  • #36
How 'bout the Cephalotus Giant pics from ugly...?
 
  • #37
Psst..Pak...you could also take a page out of the harlot diaries and except all the proposals.  Don't tell them until after you get the plants.  They can keep the rings.
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  • #38
oooooooooooo...Copper....I LIKE the way you think. Good idea! Y'all just send all the rings and plants and grapes and...I'll be gettin' back to ya.
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I know nobody REALLY wants this ol' piece of dried jerky.
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  • #39
Sure, PAK I will send you many rings! Hey! Hope you are not picky because I get mine from a gumball machine.
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  • #40
oh, MAN...This thread has me stifiling myself here at work....there are tears on my eyes (seriously!).
Beat that youngster vs beat that, youngster....Oh, I almost fell out of my chair! Thanks goodness for armrests!
 
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