User Tag List

Informational! Informational!:  0
Likes Likes:  0
Results 1 to 5 of 5

Thread: Dilbert quotes

  1. #1
    Tropical Fish Enthusiast jimscott's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Western New York
    Posts
    18,768
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    >
    >
    >
    >Dilbert Quotes....Life in 2004...
    >A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were looking
    >for people to submit quotes from their real-life Dilbert-type managers.
    >These were voted the top ten quotes from the Dilberts we work for in
    >corporate America, circa 2004:
    >
    >1. "As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building
    >using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday,
    >and employees will receive their cards in two weeks." (This was the
    >winning quote from Fred Dales, Microsoft Corp. in Redmond, WA)
    >
    >2. "What I need is an exact list of specific unknown problems we might
    >encounter." (Lykes Lines Shipping)
    >
    >3. "E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should
    >be used only for company business." (Accounting manager, Electric Boat
    >Company)
    >
    >4. "This project is so important, we can't let things that are more
    >important interfere with it." (Advertising/Marketing manager, United
    >Parcel Service) 5. "Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the
    >schedule." (Plant Manager, Delco Corporation)
    >
    >6. "No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We've been
    >working on it for months. Now go act busy for a few weeks and I'll let
    >you know when it's time to tell them." (R&D supervisor, Minnesota Mining
    >and Manufacturing/3M Corp.)
    >
    >7. Quote from the Boss: "Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say."
    >(Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation)
    >
    >8. My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday. When
    >I told my Boss, he said she died on purpose so that I would have to miss
    >work on the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could change
    >her burial to Friday. He said, "That would be better for me." (Shipping
    >executive, FTD Florists)
    >
    >9. "We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not
    >going to discuss it with the employees." (Switching supervisor, AT&T
    >Long Lines Division)
    >
    >10. One day my Boss asked me to submit a status report to him concerning
    >a project I was working on. I asked him if tomorrow would be soon
    >enough. He said, "If I wanted it tomorrow, I would have waited until
    >tomorrow to ask for it!" (Hallmark Cards executive)
    >
    >
    >t
    >
    >
    >

  2. #2
    It's been one of dem days BigCarnivourKid's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    I live in Chaffee County, Colorado, USA
    Posts
    3,673
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Sounds like there's many a manager that has finally been promoted to their level of incompetence. [img]http://www.**********.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/new/smile_n_32.gif[/img]
    ---Steve Allinger---

    How come chicken fingers are bigger than buffalo wings?

    My Grow List

  3. #3
    Tropical Fish Enthusiast jimscott's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Western New York
    Posts
    18,768
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Ah yes, the Peter Principle!

  4. #4
    apple rings.. what more can i say? FlytrapGurl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Location
    T-ville, Florida
    Posts
    2,619
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    LMFAO!! That first one was great ^_^
    Liquid Plummer
    Warning: Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages.

  5. #5

    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    California, LosGatos
    Posts
    559
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Incompetence it short for- ME!
    You have just recieved the Amish Computer Virus. Since the Amish don't have computers, it is based on the honor system. So please delete all the files from your computer. Thank you for your cooperation.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •