I smoked for about 7 years..most of my 20's.
I started my senior year in college..I dont really know why.
a bunch of us were out at a bar one night, and I just wanted to try one..(maybe it was 3 years of inhaling second hand smoke in bars at college? maybe I was already somewhat addicted before I had that first smoke? who knows..)
anyway, I started, and I liked it!!
I really enjoyed smoking for several years..
going out on the balcony on a cool night and having a smoke..nothing like it!
so nice..
(then the headaches and coughing set it..but for awhile, its great!)
I never got up to a pack a day, but I would smoke maybe 10 individual cigs a day..maybe half a pack some days.
then after college, I was in a band!
all the guys smoked..it was just a phase of my life I guess..
you cant be in a rock&roll band, out at the bars from 8pm until 4am, and not smoke!!
so a few years go by..I start to think I should quit, for the obvious health reasons, which I was always well aware of of course..
So I would go up on the roof of my building, have a smoke, and tell myself.."ok..here we go..last cigarette..ok..last puff..ok, there it is!"
next afternoon at the store "pack of marlboro lights please, box if you have it"
I swear I did that probably 100 times!
I even would buy a new pack, smoke maybe 2 or 3 from the new pack, tell myself, "ok, last one! for real this time!" then run the rest of the pack under the hose to destroy the remaining cigarettes! then throw the soaking wet pack away so I couldnt smoke anymore..
of course, there are always more at the store!
what finally did it I think was this constant trying to quit..
that made me smoke LESS..and as I smoked less, I started going into withdrawl..I would go a day, maybe 2 tops, then smoke again..
meanwhile my brain is always in slight withdrawl..
withdrawl made me CRANKY!!!!!
oh man, I was miserable..(fortunatly I didnt have a girlfriend at the time!
I would drive home from work and be just angry, miserable, hating the world, for no reason..(nothing bad had happened in my life I mean..I knew the real reason..)
finally it dawned on me that nicotine was ALTERING MY BRAIN!!
AGAINST MY WILL!!
and altering my brain in very bad ways!
making me a cranky basket case!
I couldnt MAKE myself happy if I tried!
nicotine was keeping me in a constant miserable state..emotionally and physically..
why would I want to keep paying for the privildge of having my brain chemistry altered against my will? and eventual lung cancer and early death as an added bonus? wow..thats really stupid!
so I finally did it when I REALLY MEANT it!
all the 100 times I "quit" before I didnt really want to..I was just trying because I felt I should..but it was always half-hearted..
once I realized I wanted my brain and my health back, I just did it..
first day quitting..easy..first 24 hours arent too bad because your brain isnt yet fully aware of what you are trying to do to it.
brain- "hey..isnt it time for a smoke? yeah, how about a smoke huh?"
me - "yeah, you wish brain"
brain - "ha! yeah yeah..ok, thats what you always say, you will break by nightfall"
2nd day.
brain - "hey, this isnt funny..I would really like some nicotine now..im going to get really mad!"
me - "too bad..im in charge now, I WILL break you"
brain - "oh no you dont! I will make you miserable if you dont give me nicotine right now!"
Third day..the worst.
brain - "THATS IT!!! I AM REALLY CRANKY NOW!! GIVE...ME...NICOTINE!!!
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!"
(if you are married or in a relationship, this is a good day to see *no one*! drive out into the desert with a tent!)
4th day
me - "hmmmm..im feeling better! I can beat it"
brain - "hmmm..nicotine would be nice, but I can probably make it without it"
5th day
The war is won!!
me - "welcome back brain!"
brain - "hey! I feel better"
and brain and I have been getting along nicely ever since!
IMO, if you can go 3 solid days without a smoke, you already have it beat..
days 2-4, maybe longer, will be very rough..but after a week, its over..
like everyone said, you just have to want to do it..
the trick is not listening to your brain when it demands more nicotine..
beat your brain into submission!
whos in charge? you or your brain?
YOU ARE!!
I know its difficult when you are addicted..but suppose someone came up to you and said "hey, I got a deal for you..Im selling a deadly posion, it will kill you, it will make you miserable and cranky and sick and probably kill you decades early, leaving your wife and children alone and heartbroken, you will probably die before you retire, so you will never really enjoy your later years..
before you die you will be sick and weak for many years, probably in great pain as well..so what do you say? want to try it? not only will get all these terrible things in your life, but you also get to PAY ME $150 a month for the privlidge of letting me sell this deadly poison to you!! yay!
come on! doesnt that sound like a great deal?
$150 a month to rapidly accelerate your own death? sweet!"
yep..such a deal..
you have to quit!!
3 days..thats all it takes.
one week and its over, and you have yourself back..
Scot