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Tanya(flytrapgurl) has a message for you all

  • Thread starter Starman
  • Start date
  • #21
My point is that their grandparentsparents (even though they may have her "best interests at heart") are being ridiculous about it. heck... I NEED my computer to make good grades! (and I shouldn't have to ask my mom permission to do homework... that's ridiculous too)
and nobody said she should drop out of school or anything. sheesh! you say she should make worse grades and everyone starts talking about dropping out and how they should have studied harder and everything. one report card with one C or so (it can be a high C... and it doesn't even have to be a report card. just in a progress report or even just a paper or something to get it through her grandparents' head) is not going to make you a trash collector for the rest of your life! ... yet if it works she could get her freedoms back and enjoy them for a long time.
I don't know about you but I'd rather have all C's in ONE report card (again... i'm not saying she should have ALL C's... just one HIGH C would probably freak her grandparents) and get my freedoms back than not be able to use my computer for quite a while...
and what her grandparents are doing is not pushing her to do well, it's punishing her for not being perfect. that's outrageous. Doing that just makes her dislike them even more (she's always complaining about her grandparents :p) and really makes people sick of studying.
the way to make someone do good isn't by punishing them for not being perfect.
 
  • #22
confused.gif
Nevermind, you won't understand till you're older.

Joe
 
  • #23
Tanya WANTS to do well, since she wants to be a vetenarian. She works very hard in schoolwork and does her very best, but she cant get higher grades then A's and B's. But her grandparants want her to be perfect, so they are punishing her in a bid for her to study harder and get straight A's, but that is not possible since she already works to her full potential and does her absolute best. She also cannot and will not study anymore then she is already. For this reason, punishing her will achieve nothing.
 
  • #24
seeeeeeee? punishing because they're not perfect is stupid.
 
  • #25
[b said:
Quote[/b] ]and nobody said she should drop out of school or anything. sheesh! you say she should make worse grades and everyone starts talking about dropping out and how they should have studied harder and everything. one report card with one C or so (it can be a high C... and it doesn't even have to be a report card. just in a progress report or even just a paper or something to get it through her grandparents' head) is not going to make you a trash collector for the rest of your life! ... yet if it works she could get her freedoms back and enjoy them for a long time.

Actually that would probably strip ALL her privliges. If they want perfection then a C is not gonna make them decide that she is working as hard as she can.
 
  • #26
well... I don't know her grandparents but I know it would work with my mom :p
 
  • #27
Who watches more then an hour of TV a night? I know I don't
 
  • #28
Her grandparents are probibly like mine. Well in the fact that they are crazy and have some obsession with "family honor" (even thought know one accnoleges that or calls it that). We have constant battles with my Grandfather's brother's family as to who is better (well at least funnier)). So maybe that is their way of pushing family honor, which at times is quite unbearible if not unreasonable. I would not know exactly since i have not met her or her family
My two cents
Tre
 
  • #29
Grandparents are great, when taken in moderate doses.

To get into something as hyper-competitive as veterinary school requires a huge effort. Some people make good grades too easily and develop rotten study habits. As things get tougher at higher levels, people who perhaps have less intelligence but learned to work harder will pass them by. So the effort is more important than the grades.
 
  • #30
but good grades are in part needed to get you there
 
  • #31
I watch about thirty minutes of TV a day.... but I'm online for WAY longer than that. (right now i'm writing a paper lol)
hey, if you don't need to study, then DON'T STUDY! why would you do something you don't need to do?
when you need to study, then study. If you go to college and don't want to change your study habits, then you shouldn't be in college.
 
  • #32
[b said:
Quote[/b] ]ike when my mom tried to bann me from the computer after 10... I stayed up even later watching TV really loud and doing stuff to wake her up. why? because it's unfair and unjustified. a couple of days and some arguing later... I got promoted to 11 PM. lol... now that is fair and justified so I didn't argue.
brat..
 
  • #33
hey, I don't obay stupid, unfair, no reason at all kind of commands. The only reason she could give me was something about dicipline and crap. bah!
 
  • #34
My kid would deeply regret doing such a thing.  As bad as it might get, however, she would live.  That's more than I could have hoped for if I had tried the same in my day.
 
  • #35
well, I have nice parents who admit when they're wrong (after a while)
 
  • #36
Thats not admitting they're wrong, thats backing down from a child. How can a parent even begin to raise or teach a child who they ALLOW tocommand from them? I mean no affense to you Alpha but you and your parents are both wrong. Children have no position to command anything of their parents and parents have a duty to command discipline and respect from their children. You aren't just born with the right to do and say as you please, its a right that you earn more and more of over the years through respect and learning. Dude, if you were my kid, pullin a stunt like that would land you absolutely no TV, phone, internet, games, NOTHIN........and if you didn't like that then you shouldn't have attempted to tell me where or what my position as a parent should be.

Bruce, you ain't lying buddy. That would've been cause for a swat at least. Not to mention what would have been taken away.

Joe
 
  • #37
[b said:
Quote[/b] ]Children have no position to command anything of their parents and parents have a duty to command discipline and respect from their children.
Children deserve respect too. this is not a one way relationship where parents own children and can tell them to do anything and the children mindlessly follow whatever they are told. I have a brain. I can think. Tell me to do something stupid and I will not do it unless you explain to me why it isn't stupid. Questioning authority is not disrespectful or bad in any way. You know why I respect my parents? because they admit when they are wrong and THEY actually respect me too. They treat me like an adult and so I respect them. They don't punish me for standing up for what I believe. They don't punish them because it was THEIR fault.
[b said:
Quote[/b] ]You aren't just born with the right to do and say as you please, its a right that you earn more and more of over the years through respect and learning
And I've earned that right. My parents also respect me and trust me because I respect and trust them too. (and obay them WHEN IT MAKES SENSE). Treating kids like you said (punishing them because YOU are stupid and unfair) just makes them angrier at you and they won't truly respect you.
Respect is NOT the lack of disrespect
You're the parent. You should admit when you're wrong. That's not bending to your child's will, it's respecting them.
 
  • #38
I sooooo cant wait untill Tanya gets back and sees this............then she will explain it all to you, superimposedhope.
Can I ask: did you forget what its like to be a kid living with parants?
 
  • #39
MUTUAL respect is the key. parenthood is not a one way relationship.
and you know what? I respect my mom more now because she is mature enough to admit when she is wrong. Especially now that I hear what you would do to your poor kids.
 
  • #40
Starman,
No, I haven't.

Alpha,
I agree , you should admit when you're wrong. It's the only way your kids will learn it. However I don't see how your mom was wrong because that she decided you should be off the comp at 10:00. I don't know anything other than what you posted about it but it sounded to me like your mom made a rule and you tried to make it miserable for her to uphold it and it worked. Is that the situation? Or is there something that was a reason for it that she turned out to be wrong about? I am not trying to target you, parents that can't control their kids really bug me.

Joe
 
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