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Tanya(flytrapgurl) has a message for you all

  • Thread starter Starman
  • Start date
  • #61
Again, to clarify, I am along the same lines as Joe, I think A's and B's are perfectly acceptable, and I am directing my conversation more at the others who think parents and kids should seeming be on the same decision making level.  However, as I said in my first post, I simply don't buy "I can't make a B into an A"  FlytrapGurl seems to be a pretty intelligent young lady, and I am sure if she approached her teachers and asked where she can show improvement, or if there is a special extra credit project or something she can do, that she can eek out what I am sure are a few decimal points in her grade to tip her into the A's for those classes.  YOu know the old saying, works smarter not harder? Well, sometimes, you just have to work harder. her grandparents have put her into a position that apparently has no wiggle room, all were saying is rebellion is not the way to solve it, try and give them what they want, if you can, great, their pushing worked, if you can't, chalk it up to a charachter building experience and move on.
 
  • #62
Well I am very very bad at sports........I am always told to do my absolute best which I always do, but I always get poor grades. I simply CANT do any better. For years my grandma and the rest of my family accused me of not trying and saying I could get better grades at P.E and sports, that really really hurt, as that isnt the truth at all and I was often crying about it.
Same with all my other subjects, I am above average in everything, I would like to be higher and I try very very hard but I simply CANT DO ANY BETTER.
 
  • #63
And Tanya told me she already puts the maximum effort in ALL her work, in EVERY subject, but she just cant do any better. I dont see whats so difficult to understand.
 
  • #64
[b said:
Quote[/b] (SarraceniaScott @ Mar. 29 2005,1:41)]
[b said:
Quote[/b] (Starman @ Mar. 25 2005,5:15)]This isnt high enough for her grandparants, so they have only allowed her to watch the TV 3 hours a day and thye have banned her from the computer for a week
I certainly hope you mean 3 hours a week, not 3 a day.
no, 3 hours a day.......which isnt that much of a restriction but it means she will have to sacrifice some of her favorioute shows.
 
  • #65
She must have a good plenty of favorite shows.
 
  • #66
I was and am horrible at math. I could try and try and try and never get above a D. I had tutoring in algebra before and after school, I took remedial math, etc. I was grounded, sent to my room, whupped, and had priviledges taken away. It didn't help, which was a crushing blow to my aspiration at the time to be a veterinarian and was difficult later when I got my GED. My graduating year was 1977. I got my GED in 1995. I got 97% and above on all the sections except the math section..where I got a just-barely-passing 65%. And I studied my fanny off, too!

Now kids, don't try this at home, please. NOBODY is as bad at algebra as I am. Therefore, you have no excuse. But I dropped out of school half-way through my senior year because I couldn't pass a freshman math class. Couldn't graduate without it. I had more credits than I needed to graduate, just not the right ones.

I did my best, I am bad at math, and no amount of horsewhipping or other forms of coersion is going to ever make me better than a low C or D student at it. April
 
  • #67
[b said:
Quote[/b] ]Those of that have been there, say differently, my parents pushed, I got better.
from what I read you weren't trying. that's different.
[b said:
Quote[/b] ]Alpha jumped in with the talk about parents needing to justify their decisions. Thats what I was saying is totally wrong.
Everyone should justify their decisions if you're punishing someone.
[b said:
Quote[/b] ] I further am bothered by the fact that he so blatantly disrespects his parents in public making them look weak. Just my opinion though.
that is just your opinion and nothing else. I think my parents are the best parents BECAUSE they admit their mistakes. You just can't see that because you don't trust your children to play a part in their future and feel the need for slave like obedience.
[b said:
Quote[/b] ]However, as I said in my first post, I simply don't buy "I can't make a B into an A"  FlytrapGurl seems to be a pretty intelligent young lady, and I am sure if she approached her teachers and asked where she can show improvement, or if there is a special extra credit project or something she can do, that she can eek out what I am sure are a few decimal points in her grade to tip her into the A's for those classes.
I'm sure she and everyone can make better grades but punishing them is not the the best answer. people shouldn't make good grades to keep from being punished but because they want to. I love my parents because they respect and trust me and I want to make good grades because of myself and because they want me to, not because I'll be punished for not getting straight A's


Parents/grandparents demanding perfectionism is ridiculous and unjust. You just do what you have to do to end that unjustice. I don't care who is doing the injustice. If I believed in god and I could change the way he was acting, then great I'd do that too.  I don't respect my parents because they punish me for being bad, but because they admit they're wrong and don't punish me for making them see they are wrong.
I don't trust myself to always make the right decisions, so why should I trust anyone else? because I'm afraid of bein punished? that is just wrong. They don't demand my brainless following of orders because I DO have a brain and they trust my intelligence enough to allow me to participate in the decision making because those decisions affect me.
They also trust me to not disrespect them when there really is a reason for what they are doing. They also trust me to do my best in school without having to punish me to try.
lack of trust? I say those people who have to demand the brainless following of orders are the ones who lack trust.
 
  • #68
[b said:
Quote[/b] (aprilh @ Mar. 29 2005,9:13)]I was and am horrible at math.  I could try and try and try and never get above a D. I had tutoring in algebra before and after school, I took remedial math, etc. I was grounded, sent to my room, whupped, and had priviledges taken away. It didn't help, which was a crushing blow to my aspiration at the time to be a veterinarian and was difficult later when I got my GED.  My graduating year was 1977. I got my GED in 1995. I got 97% and above on all the sections except the math section..where I got a just-barely-passing 65%. And I studied my fanny off, too!  

Now kids, don't try this at home, please. NOBODY is as bad at algebra as I am. Therefore, you have no excuse. But I dropped out of school half-way through my senior year because I couldn't pass a freshman math class. Couldn't graduate without it.  I had more credits than I needed to graduate, just not the right ones.  

I did my best, I am bad at math, and no amount of horsewhipping or other forms of coersion is going to ever make me better than a low C or D student at it.  April
But math is SO incredibly logical! As long as you follow instructions, you get the same right answer 100 % of the time. Math is our friend - so I tell my unbelieving kids. They are just not "wired" for math - at least the oldest 3. The last one is a nerd all the way, just like his mom and dad.
 
  • #69
Alpha,
Your parents don't have to justify an answer any more than a teacher does. If your teacher says "Sit down" then you sit down or you will be disciplined. They don't have to give you a reason, it's because they are teaching you not the other way around. No, parents don't have to justify their decisions to you, maybe yours choose to but thats not the way the world works whether you like it or not. Your employer doesn't have to, your friends don't have to and your parents don't have to. Just like you don't have to justify you beleifs about religion. Your parents ALLOW you to have this idea that you automatically deserve these rights. I still don't see how your mom was wrong for telling that you have a curfew on the comp, something about discipline sounds good to me. If you think anyone but your parents are going to justify commands given to you, you are sadly mistaken. You are being setup for disapointment in life on your own. 75% of what you think and feel as a child/young teen is irrelevant as an adult. Ya see, if the lines between childhood and adulthood are blurred then where does adulthood start? If you get respect from day one then do you really mature? I don't think so, I think if you are given these thing for nothing then as an adult you will feel that you are owed these very things by others around you..................that ain't gonna happen. Your boss won't care what you feel you are entitled to. I dare ya to tell an employer that he/she needs to justify anything to you and you deserve respect because you were born.
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Whether or not you care who I am or what I know, I am telling you because I DO know, I have been a teen, I've demanded reasons and justifications from about every sort of authority you could imagine. It doesn't work, no-one owes you anything.

Joe
 
  • #70
you do earn respect at birth, you are respected as a human being. Wan more? Earn it. It shouldnt be given to you just because you make a fuss
 
  • #71
[b said:
Quote[/b] (Starman @ Mar. 29 2005,5:23)]
[b said:
Quote[/b] (SarraceniaScott @ Mar. 29 2005,1:41)]
[b said:
Quote[/b] (Starman @ Mar. 25 2005,5:15)]This isnt high enough for her grandparants, so they have only allowed her to watch the TV 3 hours a day and thye have banned her from the computer for a week
I certainly hope you mean 3 hours a week, not 3 a day.
no, 3 hours a day.......which isnt that much of a restriction but it means she will have to sacrifice some of her favorioute shows.
Well, there's the problem right there. Nobody needs 3 hours of TV a day. To steal a little phrasing from Frank Herbert:

I must not watch. TV is the mind-killer. TV is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
 
  • #72
[b said:
Quote[/b] ]But math is SO incredibly logical! As long as you follow instructions, you get the same right answer 100 % of the time.
I get math, it's the stupid mistakes that get me. That's the only reason why I get C's. because I make too many mistakes. I don't want to do stupid mistakes, I do try, but I make them.
[b said:
Quote[/b] ]Your parents don't have to justify an answer any more than a teacher does. If your teacher says "Sit down" then you sit down or you will be disciplined. They don't have to give you a reason, it's because they are teaching you not the other way around. No, parents don't have to justify their decisions to you, maybe yours choose to but thats not the way the world works whether you like it or not
I didn't say they needed to. I said they SHOULD, and mine do because they trust me. If you can't trust your kids and make them close minded by not needing to know why things are the way they are (even with orders) then that's not my problem, it's yours. Just because you were raised one way doesn't mean that it's the only way nor the best way.
When I did that, everyone benefited. I benefited because I got a good hour and I didn't have to do everything I wanted to before ten, my mom benefited because I trust her more and I won't be mad at her, even my online friends can now be delighted by my presence longer (ROFLMAO!!!)

[b said:
Quote[/b] ]If you think anyone but your parents are going to justify commands given to you, you are sadly mistaken
nobody thinks that. Like I said, your parents and teachers are two totally different things. I consider my parents my friends too they're not my bosses. If they don't allow me to question them then they suck.
I'm not stupid enough to not realize you act differently in different situations. I don't know if experience taught me that or my parents did.
[b said:
Quote[/b] ]you do earn respect at birth, you are respected as a human being. Wan more? Earn it. It shouldnt be given to you just because you make a fuss
this reminded me of something that really doesn't have anything to do with what we're talking about but it pisses me off so I'll say it.
Parents CHOOSE to have kids, and you teach them how to be. it's your responsability how they end up (even that they ended up here) so don't complain.
[b said:
Quote[/b] ]Well, there's the problem right there. Nobody needs 3 hours of TV a day
it's not just tv, and it's not so much about not needing tv, it's about not needing the punishment.
 
  • #73
Depends on what kind of TV I watch. I passed a college level field biology class without studying, without buying the text-book, because I watch lots of nature programming and do prairie restoration in my free time. Plus, that's where my interests lie. That really helps.

Also, to whomever asked...no, I don't have kids, but I was one. I never wanted any kids. I had a rough child-hood, and we'll leave it at that.

I'm almost 46 years old and doing quite well, thank you.

AND MY PARENTS WERE WRONG SOMETIMES. Just dead wrong. They're both bigoted. Is that correct? Should I have honored those beliefs by respecting those beliefs? They're both in their late 80's, and I love them dearly, and I consider myself incredibly lucky to still have both of them, but sometimes they were wrong.

Sometimes I am wrong, too, it's part of being a human. April
 
  • #74
[b said:
Quote[/b] ]Depends on what kind of TV I watch. I passed a college level field biology class without studying, without buying the text-book, because I watch lots of nature programming and do prairie restoration in my free time. Plus, that's where my interests lie. That really helps
true. I'm either watching the news or learning something (which IS kind of hard since there aren't many learning channels... and they're becoming crap pretty fast... darn all those building shows)
[b said:
Quote[/b] ]I'm almost 46 years old and doing quite well, thank you.
She's older than you. You can't argue with her. you should respect her experience and knowledge because she has lived longer than you. lol
 
  • #75
FTG will not be happy about what's happening in her name!

I did some teaching as a graduate assistant in the 80s and nothing pissed me off more than the smart ones who didn't try because they didn't need to.  They'd get an A because they knew at least 90% of the material and did just well enough to avoid a lower grade.

I was far more impressed by the students who worked hard, but got lower grades.  Edison said invention is 10% inspiration and 90% perspiration and I agree.  If choosing sides, I want to be with the hard working people with less mental horsepower and we'll win every time.  They might not discover a cure for cancer, but they do everything else.

So, when my daughter got an A in science for the first quarter in 6th Grade but an unsatisfactory for effort, she learned an A isn't good enough.  The world is full of intellectually lazy smart people and we don't need any more.
 
  • #76
[b said:
Quote[/b] (TheAlphaWolf @ Mar. 29 2005,7:06)]
[b said:
Quote[/b] ]Depends on what kind of TV I watch.  I passed a college level field biology class without studying, without buying the text-book, because I watch lots of nature programming and do prairie restoration in my free time.  Plus, that's where my interests lie.  That really helps
true. I'm either watching the news or learning something (which IS kind of hard since there aren't many learning channels... and they're becoming crap pretty fast... darn all those building shows)
[b said:
Quote[/b] ]I'm almost 46 years old and doing quite well, thank you.  
She's older than you. You can't argue with her. you should respect her experience and knowledge because she has lived longer than you. lol
I know you're kidding Alpha!  But, of course he can argue with me!  He has more kid experience!  All I know about kids is....baby sitting for the neighbors. That's quite enough, thank you! I indulge them, spoil them, give them sugary stuff and loud, annoying toys and send them home to mom and dad.

I like a good clean debate. Don't like the mean, name-calling stuff.  
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April
 
  • #77
[b said:
Quote[/b] ]I did some teaching as a graduate assistant in the 80s and nothing pissed me off more than the smart ones who didn't try because they didn't need to.
lol. I'm like that with some things (ie. biology... piece of cake. things just stick to my brain like superglue without me even trying) but I do hate the smart ones of other classes :p I DO try (especially hard) in math and chemistry! it's not fair :-/ darn them all lol.
 
  • #78
Oh PLEASE, Are you serious,....... your mom benefited because your not mad at her and you trust her? Thats a pile of mountain lion crap if I ever heard it.

I hope that was a joke. If thats the case, you're right.......I can't even begin to argue with you on this.

Joe
 
  • #79
[b said:
Quote[/b] ]Oh PLEASE, Are you serious,....... your mom benefited because your not mad at her and you trust her? Thats a pile of mountain lion crap if I ever heard it.
I didn't just not get mad at her, I trust and RESPECT her more. Meaning that I show my respect more often.
I know you're not going to get that... but that's what happened.
 
  • #80
lol of course that was a joke. I'm the one arguing that older people shouldn't demand mindless zombees that don't argue with them.
 
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