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Thread: Friend's dad died

  1. #9
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    Your Grandad did the RIGHT THING.
    \"Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: \"Mankind\". Basically, it\'s made up of two separate words - \"mank\" and \"ind\". What do these words mean ? It\'s a mystery, and that\'s why so is mankind.\" ~ Jack Handey

  2. #10

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    Man, talk about being a little on the harsh side at work. That is just not right. I agree your Grandpa did nothing wrong.
    \"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.\"
    -- Oscar Wilde

    http://www.nasarracenia.org/

  3. #11
    It's been one of dem days BigCarnivourKid's Avatar
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    I'm with everybody else Treagum. My Mother died on May 7th last year. The day before Mother's day. My dad died three months later on August 7th. It helped to have my friends come up to me with their condolences and offers of help. I may have lost my mom and dad but my friends were still there to support me and they were letting me know it! The best time and place to let your friend know how you feel is HERE and NOW! Call him up. Offer your condolences and help if he needs it. Let him know that his friend cares about him.
    ---Steve Allinger---

    How come chicken fingers are bigger than buffalo wings?

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  4. #12

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    Well I took the card suggestion. I tried calling but no one answered. Which I should not be supprised about. So busy with everything. I did not feel that leaving a message on the answering machine would have been the best thing to do. And since I did not want to seem un-compassionate I sent him a nice card. Thanks for the help everyone. Sorry to hear about everyone elses loses.

  5. #13
    scottychaos's Avatar
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    I think your grandfather was totally right, and did the kind and thoughtfull thing by making that comment,
    and everyone else was wrong to ignore the topic..

    weird situation..why would all these people think the grandfather was wrong?
    very odd..
    it seems like a perfectly normal and thoughtfull thing to say to me.
    and all the people who think it was innapproiate for the grandfather to say that seem way out of line, and totally wrong, to me..
    Scot

  6. #14
    Moderator Schmoderator Fluorescent fluorite, England PlantAKiss's Avatar
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    Being sad and crying is a natural part of grief. Its part of the process. To try to stifle it act like nothing is wrong only prolongs the grieving. Immediately after a death, there is usually not too much you can do to make someone feel better. They just have to feel the pain and grieve. But the sympathy and caring you show at that time WILL be remembered and appreciate a little ways down the road when things aren't so hectic and the family has more time alone.

    Immediately after a death, there is so much activity with making arrangments, family coming in, friends coming over and all that. Once the funeral has taken place and people leave and things go back to "normal", that is often when people begin to feel the loss the most. It gets "quiet" and there isn't as much activity to occupy the mind and body. So it never hurts to say a kind word a little later on as that may be when someone needs it the most. This will be a sad issue for your friend for quite a while.

    There are people I grieve for to this day...
    "Fox terriers are born with about four times as much original sin in them as other dogs." - Jerome K. Jerome

  7. #15
    apple rings.. what more can i say? FlytrapGurl's Avatar
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    Well, I think your grandfather had good intentions by telling your friend he was sorry about his dad, but it really depends on your friend's mood at the time whether or not it was the best time to say it. If your friend was in a really good mood at that point and time, I know I wouldn't have mentioned his father's death. And your coworkers are completely out of line hating you for what your grandfather did. It's not your fault and you were not responsible for anything your grandfather did or said, therefore you don't deserve to take the fall for it.
    Liquid Plummer
    Warning: Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages.

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