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Thread: I am upset.

  1. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by [b
    Quote[/b] (ALLOSAURZ @ April 17 2005,3:19)]Not to get into a debate about the ethics of child punishment but imo there is a big difference between abuse and discipline.
    Absolutely! Unfortunately, it seems all of society is leaning towards considering any remotely physical punishment as abuse. And some parents i know seem to consider ANY punishment as some form of abuse.
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    Quote Originally Posted by [b
    Quote[/b] (Treaqum @ April 17 2005,3:21)]I remember that I was always talked to and made to see what I did was wrong. Oh yeah that visit to see what jailwas like in First Grade helped. It was a field trip.
    I always talk to them afterwards and make sure they understand why it happened.

    My wife and I do agree on the use of spanking for safety-related rules infractions. Running into the street, leaving the house without asking permission, etc, all get a spanking. At the age of 5 and 3, they don't understand what the real consequences could be, but they DO understand the fear of Daddy's belt. (Actually, I just use open hand...)

    I also spank for lying or stealing. That's the main reason I spanked her; she lied about picking the flowers.
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  3. #11
    Stay chooned in for more! Clint's Avatar
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    you disciplined her, not abused her.

    but they are only flowers. and she's only 3

    you could have given sent her to bed without desert or something.

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    I really see nothing wrong with lightly hitting her for picking the flowers. She had been warned and she did lie.
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  5. #13
    Tropical Fish Enthusiast jimscott's Avatar
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    Welcome to the wonderful world of parenting! [img]http://www.**********.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/new/smile_m_32.gif[/img] Spanking, in general, is not the best way to go. However, every child is different, even within the esame family. what works for one kid may not work for another. Sometimes, NOTHING works. There aren't eay, foolproof approaches to all kids and situations. I know what you mean about kids not responding to things. My daughter was unfazed with a "in control" spanking. My oldest son, all ya had to do is raise your voice, and he was in tears. My Aspererger Syndrome son wouldn't know operant conditioning if he tripped over it. He wouldn't understand why he was being punished.

    But this wasn't a child discipline issue. It's a I'm hurt because my kid destroyed my flowers and my wife is mad at me because we disagreed on how to handle the situation and now I feel even worse - thing and I don't know how to make things right - issue.

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    The point is she was told not to do something, she did it anway, knew it was wrong, then lied about it. That's worthy of a swat on the fanny, and getting sent to your room. Lying is the worst. IMO.

    My mother was a master of corporal punishment...of the psychological kind. She almost never hit us...

    When we were bad, she'd send us out to the hedgerow, and make us pick out the switch she was going to use on us. And if it wasn't a big enough switch, she'd send us back out to pick another one. By this time...we would be crying so hard, she didn't have to switch us.

    One day, feeling I was about to be unjustly punished(my sister had said the "S" word. She had to have heard it from me!), I went to the wood pile and dragged in a 4 foot log. She about died laughing.

    Or, she'd send us to the 7-11 to buy one of those paddle-ball things. We'd bring it home, crying hysterically all the way. Then she'd sit down and make us watch her s-l-o-w-l-y pry off the staple that held the elastic string with the ball. She never had to use the paddle!

    My father, on the other hand...
    \"People place their hand on the Bible and swear to uphold the Constitution; they don't put their hand on the Constitution and swear to uphold the Bible,\" Jamie Raskin, to Senator Nancy Jacobs.

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    Quote Originally Posted by [b
    Quote[/b] (jimscott @ April 17 2005,3:53)]But this wasn't a child discipline issue. It's a I'm hurt because my kid destroyed my flowers and my wife is mad at me because we disagreed on how to handle the situation and now I feel even worse - thing and I don't know how to make things right - issue.
    ding ding ding

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    Tropical Fish Enthusiast jimscott's Avatar
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    That reminds me of my older sister, who was a 5th grade school teacher. She had kids go outside and pick up rocks. That was all - just pick up rocks. Worked like a charm.

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