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Thread: I am upset.

  1. #25

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    Discipline does NOT impart moral values, and vice versa. They are 2 very different things.

    You can be very disciplined and completely and totally amoral. Ken Lay? Jeffrey Dahmer? The 9/11 hijackers? Adolph Hitler? Lt. William Calley? These were/are VERY disciplined and methodical people. They had goals, and they focused on them with laser beam intensity, devotion and discipline.

    I'd rather have moral children, thank you. Morals come first. Discipline can come later....and it's something that most toddlers are incapable of. Toddlers are all about the Id. A 3 year old is old enought to know don't touch means don't touch. But most 3 year olds lack the discipline to follow through on not touching! After all..you've just pointed out something really attractive to them

    I still think your swat was justified, though.

    Take your daughter out for an ice-cream cone. Talk to her about how much she means to you, and that you like your plants, too, and want them to grow up and have "kids" of their own. Maybe make her your partner in caring for them? get her an itty bitty watering can. Talk to your wife about why you did what you did. Use "I" statements!~ Take her out to dinner. Dinner and flowers always works for me, LOL! This was minor...I doubt your daughter will remember the punishment, but she will remember the lesson, unless she's just plain stubborn, like I was. April
    \"People place their hand on the Bible and swear to uphold the Constitution; they don't put their hand on the Constitution and swear to uphold the Bible,\" Jamie Raskin, to Senator Nancy Jacobs.

  2. #26
    Loves VFT's! Trapper7's Avatar
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  3. #27

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    Quote Originally Posted by [b
    Quote[/b] (jimscott @ April 17 2005,4:21)]Gosh, that's never happened to me before! NOT! Seriously, humbly, go talk to your wife. Ask her how she feels it ought to have been handled. Seek forgiveness. See if your daughter is okay with you picking her up and holding her. Ask for forgiveness. It is better to have a healed relationship than to prove yourself right in less than black & white scenarios.
    Oh, I know the kids are already OK.
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  4. #28
    herenorthere's Avatar
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    I've never spanked my kid, who's approaching 12 now, but my wife has a few times. I don't really trust my judgement to keep it right, so don't start down that path. But it isn't reasonable to expect a 3-year old to remember those kind of instructions. I say it more to protect your plants than to protect the kid. Kid's brains don't work like ours, so keep the plants away from the kid for now.
    Bruce in CT

    Madness is something rare in individuals but in groups, parties, peoples, ages it is the rule. Friedrich Nietzsche

  5. #29
    Nepenthes Specialist nepenthes gracilis's Avatar
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    The bottom line is, a young person must be taught right from wrong early. Spanking is perfectly fine, its human nature to impose a little pain in discipline. Big deal, shes three, she'll learn early on not to do that again, unless she wants another spankin. Mental discipline is also good, ie: talking it out, but I believe that only works when a human is much older and able to comprehend words.

  6. #30

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    I was spanked...nothing wrong with it.
    \"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.\"
    -- Oscar Wilde

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  7. #31

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    Quote Originally Posted by [b
    Quote[/b] (aprilh @ April 17 2005,6:16)]Discipline does NOT impart moral values, and vice versa. They are 2 very different things.
    I said they go hand in hand, not that they were the same thing.
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  8. #32

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    I still don't think discipline and morals go hand in hand, vis a vis the reasons I stated. A person can be very undisciplined and really moral(have a look a Jimmy Baker, or any televangelist), or very disclipined and very amoral. and everything in between.

    But I still think you were right. April
    \"People place their hand on the Bible and swear to uphold the Constitution; they don't put their hand on the Constitution and swear to uphold the Bible,\" Jamie Raskin, to Senator Nancy Jacobs.

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