I couldn't read over the whole thing, so I hope I dont repeat what anyone else has said.
In China, spanking and slapping is a common form of punishment. I never got to experiance much of it since I moved to Canada at 5, but I have seen it. I know most north americans dont think that pain is an ethical or good way to teach young children to behave, but the fact is that it does work most of the time. Once a child associates pain with the thing not to do, he/she will most likely not perform the action causing pain anymore. We are learning creatures, and a kid will learn to stop doing the things that they get punished with pain. Kids should not be spoiled and sternly teached to drive the lesson into there heads.
I'm not saying that this should always be done. Hitting kids overly (like beating them brutally with a stick everyday) is proven to cause excess violence and anger in the future, if they survived. Sometimes, talking it out and letting the kid explain is the best thing to do.
Being treatened by your parents is not really a good thing, but you must remember that they are trying to do you good. Remember that no one will ever care about you as much as them (in most cases) and they will surly want you to succeed. Never would they want to permenantly harm you, but if it would give you a better chance, they will. Do you know why people from certain cities in China are learning advanced algebra while my school is still at simple algebra? Its because they are deprived of video games and cellphones (think farming areas where money is sparce) and therefor have nothing to do but plow the fields and learn. If parents think that takeing away your video games and computers would help, they will. If you get an average mark, thinking that its your best, let me tell you its not. Your parents know that if you studied all day (I mean all day) like those farmers I was talking about, you will get an astounding improvement. They will see computers and TVs as an obsticle to this, and will probably try to take it away in hopes of giving you a edge in life. Keep in mind that they are not trying to make life a hellhole, they are just trying to give you a better future. If you think that I'm another parent trying to tell you kids off, I'm only 14.
[b said:
Quote[/b] ]We have a Chinese saying, "At the age of 3, the character at 80 is decided." Meaning, how the person is at 80 is decided at that tender age of 3.
I completley agree, habits are made to last. A polite and well behaved 3 year old will make a polite and well behaved 20 year old. I do not oppose in spanking your 3 year old because it will help her behave, she'll probably froget about you spanking her while remembering the lesson, and she'll probably not hold a grudge at 3 (if she does, ice cream always helps). Zongyi