Neps have male and female flowers. Venus fly traps do not. For your information, each nep is either male or female and will not produce both a male flower and a female flower. I believe it is female flowers that are more rare (maybe 3:1).
As for the water leaking out of your pot: plants like sarrs, sundews, and vft's like water. Most people who grow them in pots have a tray or a bowl underneath these plants and fill the bowl with water which allows the plant to sit with the bottom in the water. This allows the soil to be constantly damp (like in their native bogs). Then they just fill this bowl when it starts to get low or go dry.
edit: forgot to mention that the plants seem to enjoy being water from the top as well sometimes to circulate oxygen in the soil.