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For auction: 1 dear husband

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Opening bid $2.

Will mow or weed whack any plant you treasure, unless there's an 8 foot easment around it.

Today's death toll...

1 Kentucky Wisteria ("looked like grass to me")
1 bunch of Pale Purple coneflower

1 bunch of bearded Iris "Before the Storm"
1 bunch of bearded Iris "Beverly Sills"

Buy him before I kill him.

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What!! With Fathers Day only a month away!?!? I'll donate $10°° if you'll let him live till after Father's Day. Then you can add him to the compost to help push up the daisies he so cruelly cut down in their prime.
 
ok...he can live until Father's Day...but if he mows anything else down.........he gets the cast iron skillet upside the haid.  And the lizard eye. You get his sorry carcass.
 
Eeeeek, your black gothic bearded 'Before The Storm" iris- OMG

You forgot the gentiana andrewsii and the Penstemon grandiflorus that your "lesser half" stepped on that were in his way to do his hack job on the other plants. You can consider those toast as they'll never right themselves.  The cast iron skillet is too good for him. Did it feel good to shake what was left of the Kentucky Wisteria at him?

If my husband does anything like that again... I'll be totally in tears and so angry I won't be able to even look at him. My "lesser half" has pulled stunts like what yours did. But my Dad, he takes the cake. Do you remember when we were gone for a few weeks and my Dad came over to surprise us to cut the lawn and he carefully removed about 50 surveying flags that I had marking spots of plants to get all the grass and then he carefully put all the flags back in the same spots? That time I thought I was about ready to throw up.

The bid for $10 was too high all factors considered.
 
Laura, from the sounds of it $10°° might not be enough to keep his hide intact for another month. If it wasn't for him taking out the iris I would consider upping the offer. However, bearded iris are one of my favorite flowers so he'll have to take his chances.
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I have tried growing various types of bearded iris here, but they either don't take or they die during the winter. I think this is mostly due to the source of my plants (Wal Mart).
 
All the other wives on the parenting forum my wife was on wrote "DH" for Dear Husband.

My wife referred to me as "FH".
 
No BCK... $10 would not be enough if my husband had wiped out my gentiana and the 'Before The Storm" iris would have most assuredly been the straw that borke the camel's back.  Bearded iris are a favorite of mine and I can guarantee I would have been reduced to tears. Say, the majority of my iris are from WalMart and they're doing fine. How deep are you planting yours?  Try to go an extra 2" and see if that helps.

DH is generally a tongue in cheek acronym for Darling Husband.  Me thinks we all better be auctioning off your life if your little woman is referring to you as FH.  Not good.  Not good at all. Pray tell SS, what did you do?
 
Laura, to the best of my knowledge, you're not supposed to plant iris deep.  You're supposed to plant the rhizomes halfway in the soil, so the top half of them is exposed.
 
  • #10
[b said:
Quote[/b] (LauraZ5 @ May 22 2005,1:50)]DH is generally a tongue in cheek acronym for Darling Husband.  Me thinks we all better be auctioning off your life if your little woman is referring to you as FH.  Not good.  Not good at all. Pray tell SS, what did you do?
She *assures* me that it stands for "Fantastic Husband".

Geez, you've got a dirty mind.
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  • #11
From my husband - gardners should do their own gardening.

From me - I to have lost many a plant to my poor colored huband, then I got smart and put wide boarder around all of my gardens.
 
  • #12
I hate mowing. Gardening is perfect but mowing is a pain. This is exactly why I am eliminating the grass as fast as possible in the yard. Then I will never have to mow. Now if only I could get dumb Jonny who mows the common area of the neigborhood next door to avoid going down the hil that is all planted up that would be wonderful. If only I knew his addy I could gsend him a pamphlet describing what bushs, flowers and grass look like.
 
  • #13
April, partially exposed is best for iris but... something is going on by him if his iris aren't coming back. That usually means they are over exposed or somebody is trimming them right after they bloom as opposed to allowing them to die back naturally.  Tulips and daffodils I've been planting 4" deeper than that which is recommended and my tulips are actually multiplying. Come to think of it, I have another thought regarding his iris.  They could be biting the dust due to a fungus. I take it for granted that I soak my iris rhizomes for 24 to 48 hours before I plant them in the fall replacing the water with fresh water the first day.  Then after they are pretty well hydrated, I dip them in a 1 part bleach/4 parts water solution before sticking them in the ground.
 
  • #14
They could be biting the dust due to a lot of things. Fungus/Rot is what you get when you plant Iris too deep, or so I have been told by people who collect them. It could also be Iris Borer. It could also be that the plants are from Wal-Mart. I'm sorry to say that I suspect the latter. I'm not at all saying that bleach water is a bad idea, that's what I will do this fall when I divide my Iris.

That is, if FH (and the F doesn't stand for fantastic kiddies, he's just been upgraded) doesn't kill them before then. He means well...but jeez.

Last Wednesday...I stayed home from work to wait for someone to come fix our new stove. I painstakingly (my left hand doesn't work very well)transplanted teeny native plant seedlings from their winter-sown containers to bigger pots so they could grow out a bit. FH was messing around with the outside hose spigot and shot a huge blast of water into my painstakingly transplanted seedlings. I WAS able to save these. Which is why, at this point, he is still alive.

Come on people...bid and save this poor man's life! He can't tell the difference between grass and Kentucky Wisteria! Help him live long enough to be able to!
 
  • #15
[b said:
Quote[/b] (LauraZ5 @ May 22 2005,3:24)]They could be biting the dust due to a fungus. I take it for granted that I soak my iris rhizomes for 24 to 48 hours before I plant them in the fall replacing the water with fresh water the first day. Then after they are pretty well hydrated, I dip them in a 1 part bleach/4 parts water solution before sticking them in the ground.
Thanks for the suggestions. I'll have to try the bleach solution. I actually soaked the last rhizomes I bought for 72hrs because they were so desicated and was suprised at the difference it made in their appearance. I did a water change each day. One of the iris came back strong this year and is developing flower buds. Now if I can just keep the D%$#@ed deer from eating it. The other iris I planted didn't make it through the winter apparently. And I think that could well be because of fungus weakening it. Do you happen to know if the bleach solution would be OK to use on peony roots?
 
  • #16
I've never tried bleach on peony roots but don't see why not.

Steve, I've got hundreds of iris here. Many of which are re-bloomers which nobody ever seems to be able to get to rebloom but mine do. Just for the heck of it, buy 3 iris from any big box store next fall. Do hydrate them all. Drop them all in bleach and plant two at the traditional depth and plant one slightly deeper by at least an inch. Tell me which ones survive next spring. It's been my experience that they right themselves and come up to the level they want to be at yet the first year they are in the ground they get a little added protection from the elements. The other thing you might want to consider is that a drought in winter can be worse than a drought in summer. If you don't get enough snow to cover the ground through out the course of winter, then chances are pretty good your rhizomes are drying out. I have taken a garden hose and gone out and watered my iris in January before. I look like an absolute idiot but hey... my iris look pretty darn good and the vast majority of mine are bearded and from Walmart. I do have bearded from quality nurseries but probably not more than a hundred or so. The dutch are all from Van Engelens (sp?).

Regarding the deer...
first comment ***bang***
second comment ***support hunters***

Edited to add that I have no intentions of bidding on April's husband. No way do I want any more "mad hackers" on the loose. I say "off with his head".
 
  • #17
[b said:
Quote[/b] (LauraZ5 @ May 22 2005,9:10)]The other thing you might want to consider is that a drought in winter can be worse than a drought in summer.
That is also a good possibility. Winters here in the valley tend to be on the dry side and it is quite possible that they got too dry during the winter.
 
  • #18
do you have a pic so we know what/who we're bidding on?
 
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