5 VFT cultivars for SASE (and poem)

[cp-connection]

This is a carnivorous plant poetry contest. The top three poems will win 3 VFT each. (1) Jaws x Petite Dragon, (1) Petite Dragon, and (1) Justina Davis, Jaws or Red Piranha.

Rules: Haiku or Limerick. No profanity. Must be about CP. Ends May 31.

I will get you warmed up with one of each:

There once was a CP named Keith
Who had a fly between his teeth
His mom slapped his pot
And said that he ought
To not talk with bugs in his leaf

Sarracenia
Will you go out with my friend?
He like-likes you bad

 

[USMCSKI]

Roses are red,
flytraps are green,
I would like to have the jaws or red piranha,
cause they look so darn mean!!!


where is Leicester, NC from Statesville, NC? and when can i come pick up the plants? LOL

 

[dashman]

Haiku

Edwardsiana
The nobelest of them all
I'd love to see you

Limerick
I could not believe my eyes
to see a flytrap of that size
It was a B52
and was a foot or two
sorry you all that I tell lies.

Limerick II (my daughter's favorite and she made me post it....)
A haunted flytrap is a terrible fright
ghosts laugh and they play all through the night
but much to my dismay
they only seem to play
when the bugs are all out of sight

OK... one more.

A drosera said to the flytrap one day
On one very fine day in May
you haven't got a clue
you don't have much goo
to capture and hold your prey.

The flytrap giggled and laughed at his plight
How is goo going to put up a fight?
When large bugs
pull and they tug
He said, I'd much rather catch them outright.




dashman
:grin:

 

[theyellowdart]

There once was a Ping from Peru
Who secreted large amounts of dew
He cleared his throat
And started to gloat
When the doctor said it was only the flu

 

[Jefforever]

Does it have to be completely original? Haha... this one cracks me up cause I like rapping things.

There once was a rapping whittakeri
That's right, I said a 'rapping whittakeri
He rapped every day
From April to May
And also, guess what? It was me.

This is refering to Drosera whittakeri, for those of you not familiar w/ the name.

 

[obregon562]

Hope this kinda original thing works:

Extra Credit Rap...

Big Neps:

i like big NEPS and i cannot lie!
you otha brothas cant deny,
when a pitcha drops in
with a big ol lid
and its full of liz^id(s)
you get amazed!
truncata, merilliana, DAZED!
What is that?!
Did it just eat a cat?!
Damn put that in a picture,
Thats one ATTRACTIVE pitcha!

Haikus (i kinda forgot the rules, hope its 5-7-5)!

Little V-F-T
Snaps and eats the bottle fly
Not so little, eh?

Darlingtonia
californica tries hard
to hide its pollenator
Limmerick:

The vleebos in its own native tongue
Roridula in our own tongue
Sticky, icky, bushy, hard-to-grow
I try to please it mightil-o,
But alas, roridula dies young!

 

[Neps_N_Things]

Oh what an amazing flytrap
possessing such a brutal snap
I hope that you know
each time that you close
I await the reset of your deathtrap

It isn't perfect but I tried.

 

[seedjar]

Is a clarihew close enough to a lymeric? (Or perhaps - could you make do with a clarihew?)

The flytrap
Don't make a big flap
It waits all day in a most patient way
When it snaps shut the flies are dismay'd

~Joe

PS - Ack, improper rhyming scheme! Literature fail! I guess it works this way, but now it occurs to me that the first way I wrote it could've been a limerick outright if I'd split the fourth line:

The Carolinan flytrap
Doesn't make a big flap
It waits all day
In a most patient way
And when the flies come it goes snap

 

[Halt]

There once was a fly,
that wanted to die
so he went to the bogs
and he died near a log.
The thing that ate him
had a mouth with teeth
n it'll die from beef
but from a fly,
the flytrap soars the skies.

 

[PeaceCarny]

There once was a rapping whittakeri
That's right, I said a 'rapping whittakeri
He rapped every day
From April to May
And also, guess what? It was me.

Haha...nice twist on Homer Simpson's style of poetry xD


There once was a sundew who was wooly
He was his neighborhood bully

He beat up Drosera Slakii
Who after that became very wacky

But then summer came about
And there was a very long drought

Even though he was gone, another bully came along
His name was Drosera Binata and he was really strong

But then one day the sundews wanted them to pay
So they decided they would find a way

They found Darlingtonia californica
Who was from the state of Florida

They found the Binata and threw him in the pit
Soon he was dissolved by acidic spit

 

[Clue]

Dionaea Limerick:

There in a bog, I lay in a trance
Staring at those amazing little plants
In their mouths, insects they trap
In a flash, a picture is all I snap
These were amazing, even at a glance.


I'm no good at poems.

 

[theyellowdart]

Haiku:

a hot steamy bog;
the fly lands for the last time
lost in the sound trap

 

[els_22]

Here's my entry!

Trapped, gazing outwards,
a fly tries to squeeze between
unforgiving teeth

 

[Adam]

Limerick
There was a Sarracenia named Moo. (No offense man eating moo!)
He once said "huballoo!
For there are no bugs in this loo,
What shall I do?"
It didn't take him long to decide
He had to go and, to the bugs act shy.
"Come on in," he said, "the waters fine."
That was the end of those bugs,
"Next time, mabe ill have some for lunch."

 

[Nepfreak]

Nepenthes jamban,
Big enough to eat a man.
Oh look! Sweet nectar!

Bicalcarata
Goes to the dojo to learn
Bicalkarate.

Tranquil summertime.
How soft and sweet the droning buzz
from inside the plants.

Royal Nepenthes
Observe as plants lure their prey
and clean their wallets.

 

[cp-connection]

WOOOOO!

There once was a plant named Ewing
in his leaves some bugs were stewing
he said to a spider
"I'm not a biter"
and then swallowed without chewing!

D. Spathulata
subtle grace and elegance
judo chop your eye balls

 

[allegedhuman]

Hope this kinda original thing works:

Extra Credit Rap...

Big Neps:

i like big NEPS and i cannot lie!
you otha brothas cant deny,
when a pitcha drops in
with a big ol lid
and its full of liz^id(s)
you get amazed!
truncata, merilliana, DAZED!
What is that?!
Did it just eat a cat?!
Damn put that in a picture,
Thats one ATTRACTIVE pitcha!

Put this in a music Video STAT!

Ah memories...and NOT of creepy burgerking stalkers and squarepants...I mean the original non-creepy pre-burgerking statue corrupted song

 

[Clue]

Can I submit another?:

There once was a Nepenthes from Vietnam
His name was changed from anamensis to "Tom"
The herbarium confused,
Because the type specimen was used
For some dumb plant that that Tom had known all along!

 

[obregon562]

Thank you AH. much like Kanye, ima genius. Who likes fish sticks, just like him. And steals songs. Just like him.

 

[cp-connection]

The poetry contest ended early. Theyellowdart, nepfreak and els 22. Spectacular!

Nepfreak:
Royal Nepenthes
Observe as plants lure their prey
and clean their wallets.

Els 22:
Trapped, gazing outwards,
a fly tries to squeeze between
unforgiving teeth

Theyellowdart:
There once was a Ping from Peru
Who secreted large amounts of dew
He cleared his throat
And started to gloat
When the doctor said it was only the flu