Billylh, I don't think you were wrong in any way, addressing what you noticed.
You brought up an interesting aspect of this when you mentioned about taking advantage of SASE offers. I too looked into things and found some interesting facts!
USMCSKI (Rob),
In response to what you have written... I don't think that what you asked was in anyway offending anyone. And I don't think anyone was offended either! But your request at this point, after looking at the things that have occurred, does seem a bit like you are trying to exploit and take undue advantage of the generosity that others here have already shown you at this point.
I will explain why I feel that way, and I am interested what others think, once they read about the circumstances.
You wrote:
....the kids love them. I planted the seeds you were gracious enough to donate billylh but it looks like they dies off...nothing is coming up. i may just end up buying some seeds but being a single father ...money is hard to come by these days.
If all you have left from your original garden ( Updated pics of our bog garden ) [
http://www.terraforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=118892] is "2 VFT and 2 pitcher plants" then perhaps you and your boys need to read up and learn how to actually care for these plants before just killing more.
When billylh asked about what happened to the seeds he sent you, you avoid his question and replied "
I may just end up buying some seeds but being a single father...money is hard to come by these days". Ohh, that is a rough situation... I know! But come on! ...here again, it sounds kind of manipulative and you come across disingenuous!
It's like "oh well, if no one here will help me and my poor children, then I guess I will just have to disappoint them with some seeds...which I can't afford either!"
BUT as billylh already knew and I just found out,
you already have seeds! Lots and Lots of seeds! ALL FREE!
I am sorry if you are a single father w/2 small kids. (I didn't realize you were now single in fact, as you mentioned your wife last year when you and her wanted a greenhouse.) ( New Greenhouse ) [
http://www.terraforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=118278 ].
I am sorry about whatever happened to her...and I assume it is likely a rough situation for you now. Especially since you imply that you will have a difficult time affording to buy what amounts to about $4 worth of seeds off of ebay now. If that is the case, perhaps CPs are indeed too expensive a hobby to be wanting to do right now.
But I do understand and sympathize with you being a single parent....
although it is also a VERY tough situation...
being a kid who's folks won't buy him plants or the supplies he needs to grow them,
or being a student and having to pay for your college expenses while also trying to grow CP's,
or being a divorced woman who's "ex" is a deadbeat and won't pay child support,
or who's spouse died and is now having to find ways to support themselves and their kids,
or the person who is broke because they lost their job,
or one who is disabled and broke because they can't work a normal job,
yet they too still wants to have and grow CP's...
Well.... THESE represent a good portion of the people here who are members of this forum!
And it is US from whom you are asking to again*, freely give to you and your kids.
Of course starting plants from seed that won't be very big for a few years is a difficult way to grow plants, but a lot of us do just that for the plants we really want. That is something I don't think the average 4 or 6 year old can understand, and so if you are killing all the seeds you have gotten, why are you wanting to have more to kill?
(It takes a lot of time, work and dedication to give CP seeds and small plants the care that they need to grow into adulthood! However that's exactly what a lot of us do!) In fact, from looking over your activity here already, I really think you should have a bog full of baby plants by now!
As I said, when billylh brought up about SASE as a way to get freebies & seeds, I decided to look at past posts, and indeed you seem to know all about getting things totally free here already! Here is what I found:
19 FREE SEED & PLANT OFFERS that you have already taken advantage of!:
104+ packs of ~50 Sarr seeds each for SASE [
http://www.terraforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=120453 ]
Stylidium debile plants for shipping cost [
http://www.terraforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=119042 ]
Free Nepenthes Seeds [
http://www.terraforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=118832 ]
Nepenthes sanguinea for postage [
http://www.terraforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=118993 ]
Anyone interested in non-cp seeds? [
http://www.terraforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=118716 ]
D. burmannii (light pink flower) SASE seed giveaway [
http://www.terraforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=118178 ]
D. capensis 'Albino' Giveaway!!!!!! [
http://www.terraforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=118673 ]
Sarr Seed Giveaway! [
http://www.terraforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=118680 ]
Free Drosera Spatulata seed. [
http://www.terraforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=118581 ]
sundew seed sase [
http://www.terraforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=118625 ]
Newbie Giveaway [
http://www.terraforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=118344 ]
50+ Darlingtonia californica seeds for trade [
http://www.terraforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=118196 ]
Free Nepenthes densiflora seed [
http://www.terraforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=118319 ]
D. burmannii (light pink flower) SASE seed giveaway [
http://www.terraforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=118178 ]
LIMITED list sundew seed SASE giveaway [
http://www.terraforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=118181 ]
D. natalensis SASE seed giveaway [
http://www.terraforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=118179 ]
Devil's Claw Seed for SASE [
http://www.terraforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=117777 ]
5 VFT cultivars for SASE (and poem) [
http://www.terraforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=118213 ]
Drosera tokaiensis SASE seed giveaway [
http://www.terraforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=118174 ]
What happened to all these seeds? If you have nothing to show for it, like living plants, perhaps you should try another hobby or stop taking seeds that others could succeed in growing. (No sweat to me, but when you get in on any free SASE offer you can, it leaves others here unable to get in on these, as they are limited offers!) I myself would occasionally like to get some free seeds, but I am never able to get to the offers I am interested in, in time to get on the list before it fills! (It doesn't bother me, but for some people here who are able and wanting to grow from seed, this is sometimes their only chance to get a hold of some of the more rare varieties.) If you have no hope of growing these, then why are you wanting more? Let someone else have a chance, who can grow them!
Personally after all I have seen here, yea, you are in fact asking too much from the generosity of the people here, and you are taking advantage of it and them. These plants and seeds are not petunias! These are often rare and expensive plants and seeds that people have to share, and it often takes a lot of work and care to get these.
So in response to what you have written... I don't think that what you asked was in anyway offending anyone. And I don't think anyone was offended either!
But your request does seem like you are trying to further exploit the generosity that others have already shown you. Whats with that? That kind of behavior says something about a person you know!
I do apologize if this all seems like I am attacking you, however I have only looked at the information surrounding this situation and got an informed point of view. In so doing it seems like you have reached a point of being disrespectful of the generosity that others here have given you, and as was already pointed out, that IS against the rules. And the reason its against the rules, is because it ruins things for everyone else!
I am very interested in the opinions of others concerning this, AFTER they have taken the time to look into the facts of this situation. If I am wrong about my conclusions, I will gladly apologize. In fact, I will send your kid a free VFT if the majority disagrees with me and can convince me that I am incorrect.
(But then if the majority disagrees with me, I am sure they will also jump at the chance to send you more than enough free plants to fill your "kids" bog garden!)
If I sound a bit upset, I am. I apologize for that and mean no disrespect, but it is things like this that I feel can ruin the ethics of this forum and the relationship that most of its members share.
I do hope you and your kids can continue to enjoy the hobby. But please find another way to get plants and seeds for yourself and your children.
Good luck.
Again billylh, with looking at what has really occurred here, I don't think you owed anyone an apology. I thought about it, and if we keep allowing things, what can we expect other than more of the same. You were right in what you saw.