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Plant lymrics

There once was a grower named Pookie
He was strange and a little hookie
His strange little plants
ate all the ants
and were in movies that were spookie
 
Being a bored cashier at Home Depot, I took the time to scrawl down some lyrical odes:

Ode To A Lady Cop

There once was a gal from Hastings
Whose collection took a pasting
The heat got too hot
And the plants got fried
A call went out
And more plants were supplied

Ode To Audrey 11 (To the tune of Aubrey)

And Audrey 11 was its name
A not so very ordinary type of plant
A cross between a butterwort and a VFT
It eats dentists and speaks in Ebonics
Feed me Seymore it exclaims
As another life it claims


Oh My Darlingtonia

Oh my darling, Darlingtonia
In a gentle stream you were placed
A violent storm came on high
Down the river
Gone, goodbye
 
Another Experiment

Oh Jimscott
Tried another experiment
Put his Nep in a hanging basket
Now his plants are in a casket

Darlingtonia

Jimscott put his Darlingtonia in a barrel
He said "I think I'll try another experiment"
Off to work He went
When a terrible rainstorm came
He went home
only to find
his Darlingtonia were gone
 
LOL!
 
I have never laughed so hard since the beginning of this year! Keep them coming!
 
OK, a very late night/"slightly off me rocker" limerick:

Mistake

On the deck sat the VFT
Awaiting a meal as it does
In the distance a buzz
Is heard, a fly
Into the trap, and it exclaims,
"By golly I've gone awfully awry!"

smile_n_32.gif

Now for some sleep.
 
Ozzy

Ozzy is exploring a bog
When he trips over a log
He falls and breaks his leg
But replaces it with a wooden peg

Jimscott's experiments

Jimscott's plants are terrified
At the thought of another experiment
When he says, "I think I'll try another experiment"
They all run and hide
 
i can't quit laughing you guys! jim is my buddy but the stuff you guys came up with is to funny!
 
dewy

dewy makes jim feel gloomy

dewy will pay a fee

just watch and see

for his car will soon be

smashed by a tree

dewy, oh so dewy

will also loose his keys
smile_n_32.gif
 
  • #10
There once was a boy named Mark,
He planned and planned in the dark.
When April rolled round,
Had us all on the ground,
Until the truth was found.

The members were tricked,
But some were left ticked,
And they promised it'd show.

So May rolled 'round,
And the members they found,
The perfect form of revenge.

But the conscious they found,
The joke too profound
And Oz's skin was spared.

But heed this beware,
Lying in his lair:

Ozzy, plans for next April.
 
  • #11
Yes, my plants they did get too hot
Thanks goodness for this kind,giving lot
But Jim earned the crown
When his cobra he did drown
Next time he might try a pot



There was a cop that lived in Hastings
Her traffic stops she wasn't wasting
When a driver ran a sign
It wasn't a fine
But a plant that was exchanged for the chasting



There once was a plant growing hippie
Canivorous plants made him yell, "yippie!"
But yearning did whined
when a stone he did find
Now it's minerals that make him feel chippie


There once was a liar so profound
That in April each year he was bound
To fool those he calls "friend"
so in the end
he can apologize for the lie he has wound
 
  • #12
There was a green group called the NASC
Whose money was plundered for all to see
We thought it was dead
But it reared a proud head
And now it is prancing with ghostly glee  
smile_m_32.gif
 
  • #13
ooo!ooo!, I like that one.
 
  • #14
There is a place that I go
where a bunch of people I know
gather from far and wide
and share with such pride
all of the wonderous things that we grow.
 
  • #15
Good stuff everyone! Getting quite a chuckle out of these.
biggrin.gif
 
  • #16
The Big Garden In The Sky

After hearing, "I think I'll try another experiment"
All of Jimscott's Darlingtonia went
To the Big Garden in the Sky
Which made poor Jimscott cry

The New Apartment

Although Jim now feels gloomy
His new apartment is really roomy
He has planty of room for new plants
And quite a few more "Experiments"

The Weed

D.capensis is a weed
That it is indeed
Capslock cut a flower stalk on his
Which turned the air black
From all of the seeds
Making him cough and sneeze

No Flowers

Rattler mt
Can't get
a flower
on his
U.tricolor

7santiago, I don't have a car, but I wish I did.
 
  • #17
Anybody got any more?
 
  • #18
There once was a woman named PAK
Enthusiasm she never did lack
She befriend this lot
and that is how she was caught
now meat eating plants she can't lack


Pyro, in genetics he works
carnivorous plants are one of his quirks
growing plants known as Pings
are on of his things
Audrey III, in his shadwow, it lurks


This unknown, frightening thing is around
in the sewers of King IT is found
many will climb in a car
wear flowers that do not squirt far
What is the name that this thing is bound?
 
  • #19
Hey!  There's one about me.  lol


There once was a woman named Rose
Who wore very official-looking clothes.
But when she was off duty
She grew plants of great beauty
And wrote tickets to any that froze.

There once was a very bad boy
Who used his snakes tongs as a toy.
His van often got stuck
Beside the road in the muck
And his jokes did sometimes annoy.

The once was a guy named Andy
who with computers and tools was handy.
He hammered and glued
And measured and screwed
Til he built a greenhouse that came out quite dandy!

There once was a gentleman named Jan
Who on storms he did make a ban.
When the wind starts to blow
He flies off to Reno
And relaxes as much as he can.

There once was a guy named Joe
Who off to the Pine Barrens did go.
He found hundreds of chiggers
in a place that brought s n i g g e r s--
So next time the "Off!" will sure flow!

There once was a wizard called Dawnstar
Who play upon his rosewood guitar.
He kept jewels and rocks
Tucked away in a box
And captured moonlight and sunbeams in a jar.


biggrin.gif
 
  • #20
This has nothing to do with cps, but I thought I should post it anywho, since I wrote it: (it's called Mushcano)

_
/the\
/mushroom\
/is like a volcano\
/exploding up through\
a
log
or
stump
releasing its toxic ash
 
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