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Stupid Human Tricks
- Thread starter PlantAKiss
- Start date
I added one to my looong list 2 weeks ago, I was tearing a wall down with this huge hammer (3-foot handle, big ol claw on the end) and was on this little stepladder trying to get the last big chunk of drywall off of the middle of the wall... the thing was about to give and in my excitement I started reefing on the thing good and hard, when suddenly the claw ripped through, allowing me to smack myself in the forehead with the butt of the hammer as hard as I humanly could have... it made an odd crunching sound, a sound I'd never heard coming out of my skull, so I knew I was in for something unique..
I held me forearm up to my head and it was already soaked with blood and plaster dust, so I went to a mirror to get a good look at it...
I had busted my forehead wide open, and could see my skull and the fat layers on either side (once the blood slowed down after about 10 minutes)
I grabbed the camera and snapped a couple pics for posterity, then carefully put my hat on and rode my bicycle to the hospital to get it stitched up, only took 2 since it was a nice clean split..
I held me forearm up to my head and it was already soaked with blood and plaster dust, so I went to a mirror to get a good look at it...
I had busted my forehead wide open, and could see my skull and the fat layers on either side (once the blood slowed down after about 10 minutes)
I grabbed the camera and snapped a couple pics for posterity, then carefully put my hat on and rode my bicycle to the hospital to get it stitched up, only took 2 since it was a nice clean split..
I guess I should share my story...
I was down in American Samoa, visiting realatives. All the cousins (second and third cousins, or cousins removed, or some vague relations, anyway) decided to go down to the really cool swimming hole by the ocean. The hole was located in an old lava flow - the ah-ah kind (hard, sharp & crunchy, like coral...NOT the smooth stuff). So, stupid us decide it would be cool to sit on a little hump and watch the ocean. It was cool - until an unusually large wave came along and REACHED us....It proceeded to crash us into this very sharp lava, then roll us around on it. Nice.
47 cuts & scrapes later.....and I could even cry like the baby I wanted to 'cause there was a hot girl there....
I was down in American Samoa, visiting realatives. All the cousins (second and third cousins, or cousins removed, or some vague relations, anyway) decided to go down to the really cool swimming hole by the ocean. The hole was located in an old lava flow - the ah-ah kind (hard, sharp & crunchy, like coral...NOT the smooth stuff). So, stupid us decide it would be cool to sit on a little hump and watch the ocean. It was cool - until an unusually large wave came along and REACHED us....It proceeded to crash us into this very sharp lava, then roll us around on it. Nice.
47 cuts & scrapes later.....and I could even cry like the baby I wanted to 'cause there was a hot girl there....
Wow. It's amazing some of us survived childhood, isn't it? But I think Ozzy wins. I never caused explosions or anything. I guess I'll have to add in a few of mine as well... Let's see...The best ones...
At age five, took a tumble down the stairs, flattening my nose (the nice scar now serves to hold my glasses in place)
At age eight or nine, was collecting insects for a school project, found a ground wasp nest... You get the picture (we lived by Lake Erie, too far north for fire ants).
Same year, grandpa had a cart of sorts he made from leftover parts of stuff, he used it to ferry trash cans to the street for pickup. The frame of said cart was made from an old lawnmower chassis that had the folding handle. Sister and I were pushing each other around on it. Hit a bump, I fell between the handles, the two latches that allow the handle to fold tore nicely matching gashes on each hip.
In high school, attempted to ride my bike through a gravel embankment, bike went one way, I went another, ended up in the road. Had to roll away from traffic, and ended up pulling gravel out from under one kneecap. Didn't feel a thing, the nerves shut down for a good half hour. Still get a limp when the weather gets cold...
At age five, took a tumble down the stairs, flattening my nose (the nice scar now serves to hold my glasses in place)
At age eight or nine, was collecting insects for a school project, found a ground wasp nest... You get the picture (we lived by Lake Erie, too far north for fire ants).
Same year, grandpa had a cart of sorts he made from leftover parts of stuff, he used it to ferry trash cans to the street for pickup. The frame of said cart was made from an old lawnmower chassis that had the folding handle. Sister and I were pushing each other around on it. Hit a bump, I fell between the handles, the two latches that allow the handle to fold tore nicely matching gashes on each hip.
In high school, attempted to ride my bike through a gravel embankment, bike went one way, I went another, ended up in the road. Had to roll away from traffic, and ended up pulling gravel out from under one kneecap. Didn't feel a thing, the nerves shut down for a good half hour. Still get a limp when the weather gets cold...
PlantAKiss
Moderator Schmoderator Fluorescent fluorite, Engl
I'm sitting here laughing but I must admit...the kneecap stories are making me queasy...
I think I'm going to get me some knee pads and start wearing them. Maybe I'll start a fashion trend.
I also remember the first (and LAST time) I fried chicken. I've always heard never use a fork to turn the chicken. That was real good advice...which I didn't take. The chicken slid off, splashed into the hot oil which splashed over my hand. I spent the next half hour pacing from one end of my apartment to the other panting and howling. I had quite a few HUGE blisters. I don't think anything hurts quite as bad as a burn. So...DON'T TURN FRIED CHICKEN WITH A FORK! Use....you ready Ozzy??...TONGS.
ohmigod... that's awful!
Oh yeah...last week I was playing on the couch with my dog Ollie. His toy dropped onto the floor. I bent down to pick it up at the same time he jumped down to get it. He got it first and flung his head up. His head hit me in the forehead. (If anybody has ever gotten hit by dog's skull, you know they are hard as a brick.) I'm surprised it didn't knock me out. It hurt so bad it made me feel sick for few minutes. Had a nice lump over my left eye. Its still sore after a week.
I also remember the first (and LAST time) I fried chicken. I've always heard never use a fork to turn the chicken. That was real good advice...which I didn't take. The chicken slid off, splashed into the hot oil which splashed over my hand. I spent the next half hour pacing from one end of my apartment to the other panting and howling. I had quite a few HUGE blisters. I don't think anything hurts quite as bad as a burn. So...DON'T TURN FRIED CHICKEN WITH A FORK! Use....you ready Ozzy??...TONGS.
[b said:
ohmigod... that's awful!
Oh yeah...last week I was playing on the couch with my dog Ollie. His toy dropped onto the floor. I bent down to pick it up at the same time he jumped down to get it. He got it first and flung his head up. His head hit me in the forehead. (If anybody has ever gotten hit by dog's skull, you know they are hard as a brick.) I'm surprised it didn't knock me out. It hurt so bad it made me feel sick for few minutes. Had a nice lump over my left eye. Its still sore after a week.
OOH! I have another story involving a knee! K, well, I was with my friend and we were going to his house, and he stopped with his sister by their next door neighbor's house to see the raspberries they had. So, they ran up the black driveway, and I came running to see too. But, I tripped before I even got 3ft into the driveway where it was all broken up with cracks and loose tar stuff. And, my knee got scraped, and the little bits of driveway tar stuff got into my cut. Anyways, we removed them, and now I have a barely remaining scar. And I never even saw the raspberries.
-Ben
-Ben
Yeah, I agree burns hurt the worst. I'm a hands-on girl, my first real job was running a shirt press in a laundry. In college I worked as a computer hardware tech. After college, as picture framer. Now I work summers for a jeweler.
I have numerous scars from burns, cuts and scrapes that I don't really consider worth mentioning; they're just part of the job(s). I just cope. In all the years and injuries, I've even broken a finger, but never had stitches or casts from any of it. I guess that's just part and parcel of growing up in a family where 'suck it up and get back on the horse' was the order of the day.
Stuff like this doesn't gross me out, or anything. To me, its part of life. I actually feel sorry for some of the youngest generation. I believe many in this country (US) have grown up in such sterile, over-protected environments that they... how to put it? Have not developed appropriate immune system responses or pain tolerance... I believe that coddling people, like coddling plants, can in extreme cases lead to a weak and ineffective offspring. Strength should be nurtured, not weakness. Am I making sense? But then again, I should in the interests of disclosure admit I don't have kids of my own, just cats and plants...
I have numerous scars from burns, cuts and scrapes that I don't really consider worth mentioning; they're just part of the job(s). I just cope. In all the years and injuries, I've even broken a finger, but never had stitches or casts from any of it. I guess that's just part and parcel of growing up in a family where 'suck it up and get back on the horse' was the order of the day.
Stuff like this doesn't gross me out, or anything. To me, its part of life. I actually feel sorry for some of the youngest generation. I believe many in this country (US) have grown up in such sterile, over-protected environments that they... how to put it? Have not developed appropriate immune system responses or pain tolerance... I believe that coddling people, like coddling plants, can in extreme cases lead to a weak and ineffective offspring. Strength should be nurtured, not weakness. Am I making sense? But then again, I should in the interests of disclosure admit I don't have kids of my own, just cats and plants...
jimscott
Tropical Fish Enthusiast
Well I have a little time that I can tell about one of my many stupid human tricks. Maybe when I get home next week I can tell more if anybody is interested.
In the town of Holden Beach NC, there is a highrise bridge that connects the mainland to an island. I did a quick google search to find the height but I didn't find it. Here's what I found, this should give an idea of how big it is.
Holden Beach Bridge
Anyway as you can tell it's really steep and high. You can even get a bike up to around 50 mph on the way down. Yes I did it many times.
I also did the same thing with a skateboard. When you get upto a certain speed, the trucks on the skate board would start to shake really bad. The trucks is the unit that held the wheels on. You could losen or tighten the trucks. The loser they were the more flexiablity you'd have in a turn. The tighter they are the more speed you could get but you couldn't turn as well. Most people find just the right spot to fit how they ride. I had gotten use to the way I had mine. I could judge the speed I was going by how much the trucks shake. On the day of the incident I had tightened the trucks up. I was at the top of the bridge and started down.
Here is a little program that you can see what it's like standing on top of the bridge.
360 view
Everythig was normal, I was building up speed. I was about half way down when I saw a car had came over the top of the bridge. I knew I had time to get to the base of the bridge before the car caught up to me. When I reached the section of the bridge, where I could jump over the side and land on the mound of earth that heald up the bridge, I jumped off the board. If you look in the next pic, you'll see where the concrete side rail and the steel rails meet.
PFT won't allow this extention so just click here to see the pic.
I had just past that area when I jumped off the board. Now remember I had tighted up the trucks on the board that day, and the board was not shaking like it normaly did when I would ride it down the bridge. So I guess that's why I thought I could jump off the board, bend down and pick it up, then get out of the way of the car. When I jumped off, I quickly realized that I was going way to fast. I was going so fast that my feet couldn't adjust. As soon as my feet hit the concrete, I fell and started rolling down the bridge. When most people fall off skate boards they skined their knees or elbows. I never did. I always land on my shoulder and knuckles. I skinned all the skin off my left shoulder, hit my head on the road and I scrapped every knuckle. As soon as I stopped rolling, I jumped up, grabbed my board and jumped over the rail of the bridge. I'm sure the people in the car got quite a show.
I still have the scar on my shoulder. I landed on the same shoulder again when I was riding drunk. So I guess the scar is from both of those incidents.
In the town of Holden Beach NC, there is a highrise bridge that connects the mainland to an island. I did a quick google search to find the height but I didn't find it. Here's what I found, this should give an idea of how big it is.
Holden Beach Bridge
Anyway as you can tell it's really steep and high. You can even get a bike up to around 50 mph on the way down. Yes I did it many times.
I also did the same thing with a skateboard. When you get upto a certain speed, the trucks on the skate board would start to shake really bad. The trucks is the unit that held the wheels on. You could losen or tighten the trucks. The loser they were the more flexiablity you'd have in a turn. The tighter they are the more speed you could get but you couldn't turn as well. Most people find just the right spot to fit how they ride. I had gotten use to the way I had mine. I could judge the speed I was going by how much the trucks shake. On the day of the incident I had tightened the trucks up. I was at the top of the bridge and started down.
Here is a little program that you can see what it's like standing on top of the bridge.
360 view
Everythig was normal, I was building up speed. I was about half way down when I saw a car had came over the top of the bridge. I knew I had time to get to the base of the bridge before the car caught up to me. When I reached the section of the bridge, where I could jump over the side and land on the mound of earth that heald up the bridge, I jumped off the board. If you look in the next pic, you'll see where the concrete side rail and the steel rails meet.
PFT won't allow this extention so just click here to see the pic.
I had just past that area when I jumped off the board. Now remember I had tighted up the trucks on the board that day, and the board was not shaking like it normaly did when I would ride it down the bridge. So I guess that's why I thought I could jump off the board, bend down and pick it up, then get out of the way of the car. When I jumped off, I quickly realized that I was going way to fast. I was going so fast that my feet couldn't adjust. As soon as my feet hit the concrete, I fell and started rolling down the bridge. When most people fall off skate boards they skined their knees or elbows. I never did. I always land on my shoulder and knuckles. I skinned all the skin off my left shoulder, hit my head on the road and I scrapped every knuckle. As soon as I stopped rolling, I jumped up, grabbed my board and jumped over the rail of the bridge. I'm sure the people in the car got quite a show.
I still have the scar on my shoulder. I landed on the same shoulder again when I was riding drunk. So I guess the scar is from both of those incidents.
BigCarnivourKid
It's been one of dem days
PlantAKiss
Moderator Schmoderator Fluorescent fluorite, Engl
I was ten when my parents shipped me off to summer camp. It only took a couple of days for me to get bored with all this “nature” stuff so I talked two of my newfound buddies into hiking to the girl’s camp about three miles down the lake.
We arrived about noon, sneaked out of the woods to a marsh area, where we began crawling on our bellies through foot deep water towards a stand of cattails that provided great cover. We were less than thirty yards from the beach and probably no more than ten yards from a large raft where most of the girls were sunning themselves. Most of them were about our age and this was the year of the Bikini. WOW! But there were two camp counselors that were like…WOW! WOW! Older ladies of at least twenty…WOW! WOW! WOW!
Our new found voyeuristic tendencies lasted about three hours when hunger began to replace hormones and we crawled back into the woods where we discovered leeches all over our legs. Not a big deal for a country boy so I began picking them off them off when I realized that we had been sitting in foot deep swamp water. I took off my swimsuit…there were leeches everywhere...I mean absolutely EVERYWHERE. Harry fell to his knees and began bawling. Carl just stood there in shock.
I began to pull one off that was in the least sensitive spot but squeezed a little too hard and blood spurted down my leg. Harry began barfing. Carl ran screaming into the woods. The following hour was one of the longest and most painful of my life.
I got back to camp well after dark, purloined a large bottle of peroxide from the infirmary and washed down until the whole bottle was gone. The mess hall was closed but I managed to scrounge some leftovers and sat listening to the counselors who were huddled in a corner, talking and laughing about Carl and Harry. A local farmer had found them wandering down a dirt road. They were in shock and totally incoherent. He brought them to camp and a couple of the counselors had driven them thirty miles to the nearest medical facility. They had to be sedated because they became hysterical when they saw that some of the blood sucking creatures were attached to very sensitive areas and had gotten as big as a thumb. It took nearly an hour for the doctors to get them all off and they had to keep the guys in the hospital.
The next morning rumors, which I can’t post here, were flying about the horrific damage the leeches had caused to sensitive body parts…I mean…just use your imagination guys. I was pretty sure they weren’t true but I did a complete inspection at least four times a day just to be sure. By noon Carl and Harry’s bunks were rolled up and their belongings had been removed. I never heard from them again.
Ten days later my tour of duty was up. Just before the bus came I gave a map I had drawn to another buddy. It gave directions to the best vantage point to see the “ladies of the lake”.
I never went back to summer camp.
We arrived about noon, sneaked out of the woods to a marsh area, where we began crawling on our bellies through foot deep water towards a stand of cattails that provided great cover. We were less than thirty yards from the beach and probably no more than ten yards from a large raft where most of the girls were sunning themselves. Most of them were about our age and this was the year of the Bikini. WOW! But there were two camp counselors that were like…WOW! WOW! Older ladies of at least twenty…WOW! WOW! WOW!
Our new found voyeuristic tendencies lasted about three hours when hunger began to replace hormones and we crawled back into the woods where we discovered leeches all over our legs. Not a big deal for a country boy so I began picking them off them off when I realized that we had been sitting in foot deep swamp water. I took off my swimsuit…there were leeches everywhere...I mean absolutely EVERYWHERE. Harry fell to his knees and began bawling. Carl just stood there in shock.
I began to pull one off that was in the least sensitive spot but squeezed a little too hard and blood spurted down my leg. Harry began barfing. Carl ran screaming into the woods. The following hour was one of the longest and most painful of my life.
I got back to camp well after dark, purloined a large bottle of peroxide from the infirmary and washed down until the whole bottle was gone. The mess hall was closed but I managed to scrounge some leftovers and sat listening to the counselors who were huddled in a corner, talking and laughing about Carl and Harry. A local farmer had found them wandering down a dirt road. They were in shock and totally incoherent. He brought them to camp and a couple of the counselors had driven them thirty miles to the nearest medical facility. They had to be sedated because they became hysterical when they saw that some of the blood sucking creatures were attached to very sensitive areas and had gotten as big as a thumb. It took nearly an hour for the doctors to get them all off and they had to keep the guys in the hospital.
The next morning rumors, which I can’t post here, were flying about the horrific damage the leeches had caused to sensitive body parts…I mean…just use your imagination guys. I was pretty sure they weren’t true but I did a complete inspection at least four times a day just to be sure. By noon Carl and Harry’s bunks were rolled up and their belongings had been removed. I never heard from them again.
Ten days later my tour of duty was up. Just before the bus came I gave a map I had drawn to another buddy. It gave directions to the best vantage point to see the “ladies of the lake”.
I never went back to summer camp.
I was fixing my neighbor's roof atop her ladder. I was doing fine for 20 minutes, and heard her ladder creaking like crazy.
I stabled myself, and continued to work on the roof, and suddenly:
SLAM!!!
The old ladder gave way, and i landed flat on my tailbone.
I was in bed for a day, had it hurt for a month, and I'm fine now, but every now and then when I sit cross-legged for too long, my tailbone starts hurting.
I stabled myself, and continued to work on the roof, and suddenly:
SLAM!!!
The old ladder gave way, and i landed flat on my tailbone.
I was in bed for a day, had it hurt for a month, and I'm fine now, but every now and then when I sit cross-legged for too long, my tailbone starts hurting.
Got two more to share!
First: As a kid (14?) I was sledding in one of those thin plastic tobagan type sleds - the ones that can go REALLY fast in the right conditions. We had a really nice, big hill near my house where all the kids went to sled. At that age, the coolest thing to do is build a jump. The coolest kid award went to the kid who could jump highest/farthest. I won...I had the MOTHER of all jumps....at least five feet off the ground (with the ground continuing to fall away under me, I might add). Perfect posture in the air! Came down and stuck a perfect landing! Only problem - fist sized stone my tail bone landed on. Had to carry a pillow around highschool for three weeks just to sit down (and that's as a freshman - no girl action followed for 2 1/2 years). Couldn't bend far enough to touch my toes for a year.
Second: Running track as a senior in college, first indoor event of the season (scrimmage). My event was the 200M. Boy, was I hauling hindquarters! I even passed the guy who usually beat my pants off.....So I knew I was in for a major personal best - until I fealt this weird popping sensation in my left hip flexor. Now, when you're going full tilt, this allows the leg that was injured to continue it's motion in the opposite direction effected by the injury - in this case, back....Then it doesn't allow the leg to return - net effect was both legs back when I needed the left one forward. CRASH! Now, as if the torn hip flexor wasn't enough, I received the mother of all track burns (nice rubber track, that) on my arm. Didn't seem quite so bad until I got in the shower and the hot water hit the burn.....
First: As a kid (14?) I was sledding in one of those thin plastic tobagan type sleds - the ones that can go REALLY fast in the right conditions. We had a really nice, big hill near my house where all the kids went to sled. At that age, the coolest thing to do is build a jump. The coolest kid award went to the kid who could jump highest/farthest. I won...I had the MOTHER of all jumps....at least five feet off the ground (with the ground continuing to fall away under me, I might add). Perfect posture in the air! Came down and stuck a perfect landing! Only problem - fist sized stone my tail bone landed on. Had to carry a pillow around highschool for three weeks just to sit down (and that's as a freshman - no girl action followed for 2 1/2 years). Couldn't bend far enough to touch my toes for a year.
Second: Running track as a senior in college, first indoor event of the season (scrimmage). My event was the 200M. Boy, was I hauling hindquarters! I even passed the guy who usually beat my pants off.....So I knew I was in for a major personal best - until I fealt this weird popping sensation in my left hip flexor. Now, when you're going full tilt, this allows the leg that was injured to continue it's motion in the opposite direction effected by the injury - in this case, back....Then it doesn't allow the leg to return - net effect was both legs back when I needed the left one forward. CRASH! Now, as if the torn hip flexor wasn't enough, I received the mother of all track burns (nice rubber track, that) on my arm. Didn't seem quite so bad until I got in the shower and the hot water hit the burn.....
Yesterday, someone in my cafeteria at school dared me to eat a red savina habanero pepper (2nd hottest variety in the world). Naturally, I ate it. The burning spicyness wasn't as bad as the feeling the pepper made when it reached my stomach. I had eaten it on an empty stomach and I felt sick the entire day.
PlantAKiss
Moderator Schmoderator Fluorescent fluorite, Engl
[b said:
Well the only way to roast a marshmallow is to make it all catch on fire at once and then blow it out right away. I always do it that way and I've actually gotten good at it. Then one night last summer, I was doing marshmallows (an entire bag split between 6 people). I got the last mallow and started roasting it. It ignites and I blow it out. That would be fine except I moved a little too fast and got the marshmallow all over my face. I felt that one the entire next day.
Peter
