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Request for minors on the board

On another forum I post at, a political forum, one member wrote in and was freaked out to discover her 12-year-old daughter was talking to adult men while playing World of Warcraft.

She was about ready to call the police on the guy... I convinced her first to view the chat logs if she could to see if anything improper was being discussed.

Turns out it was nothing but purely discussing the game. She IMed the guy to let him know the girl he was talking to was 12, and that she was now closely monitoring her online activity.

Why do I bring this up?

Because internet security goes both ways.

If you're a minor, please make sure your parents are aware of your activities on this forum (and any other online activities.)

Please make sure your parents are OK with your giving out your address before arranging trades.

Please make sure your parents know who your trading partners are, both screennames and real names/addresses.

I, for one, would feel more comfortable (if my trading partner were a minor) KNOWING the parents were watching over his shoulder, and knew what was going on.

Even if you trust the adults here, think of this as protection for THEM, as well. As a fellow parent, if i discovered, with no warning, my daughter were talking to strange men online on some forum, I might be inclined to assume nefarious intentions.
 
I smell a sticky.

Good stuff, there are a lot of forums I go to and start talking to people then find out they are 13 or 14. It always freaks me out because if I were their parent I would be screaming at them for days for talking to older men online.
 
[b said:
Quote[/b] ]I smell a sticky.

Good stuff, there are a lot of forums I go to and start talking to people then find out they are 13 or 14. It always freaks me out because if I were their parent I would be screaming at them for days for talking to older men online.

I agree that the message of safety is one that should be reiterated, yes. It isn't a bad thing for the forum to occasionaly remind members of the rules and safety.

I need to marvel at the second statement in my quote, however. The problem is that there is a simple lack of communication and understanding- parents need to teach their kids not to be stupid. If your kid does something stupid on the internet, it could have serious reprocussions. But we're not talking about anything deviating from completely obvious here. There are things that are dangerous on the internet, and there are things that are not.

For instance, your kids know not to walk up to your stranger and give them your address and phone number. They know not to go around handing out promiscuous pictures of themselves. Parents need to teach kids -that lack the common sense- that doing things on the internet that you wouldn't do in real life is generally a stupid thing to do.

Why do pedos show up to people's houses? How is this possible?! For the very reasons stated above. Too many times have I heard of a 14 year old girl that posted promiscuous pictures of herself on her myspace along with her address and phone number and then authorities, the public, and the child being AGASP as a pedo comes aknockin'.

Some kids don't understand the consequences actions, so they need to be taught by their parents. However, there is a point where security and fright become overwhelming.

I've been on the internet for a long time, and I am still a minor. I've probably been to further corners of the internet than most users here, and I have NEVER had any problem. I've never been solicited, I've never been harassed by a pedophile. I give out my real name. If you post your real name in ONE place, you may as well give it out. A simple google search from many usernames can turn up a name. But what does a person do then? Wow, if you google my name you may find my livejournal, a very old news article about my place in a county science fair, a post or two that I've mad on slashdot. There's a treasure trove- not. However, if you post your ADDRESS somewhere with your name somewhere, then there's potential for people to be able to make the connect- you may leave more footprints on the net than you think.

I may have my name posted for all to see, but that does not mean I've got my Alien # or SS # available for the world to see- and people need to realize the difference. Giving my name here is as dangerous and giving my name to someone in any public place (OK, we're excluding creepy backalleys here.)

What's the point of all this? The internet isn't neccessarily more dangerous than any public place. And parents, you should teach your children to understand the internet. Just like any other situation, if they're being solicited or being made uncomfortable by a person, then they should no longer communicate with that person. They should probably tell an adult, too. But your child will be more likely to tell you about the whole situation if they can count on you not flipping out just because they were talking to someone older than them. Teach your kids what is safe and what is unsafe- and have a good understanding of it yourself. Your kids know not to go over to a stranger's house or get in a stranger's car, and they should know that no matter how well they think they know a person on the internet, if they meet them in real life: that person is a stranger.

I've been communicating with adults over the internet since... what... 6th grade or so? And frankly it's been for the best. With a bit of basic understanding, the internet can be a fun, safe place for people to get together and communicate. I love the way I'm able to communicate with people over the internet- it doesn't matter if the person is a minor, 20, 40, or 60, or where they live- I can talk to folks and learn things that I may never have had the opportunity to learn otherwise. And just like any other situation, people should understand that they chose who they associate with and that reprocussions for their actions can exist.

I'm not trying to be a troll here, and I hope that people see that. The internet can be a great place, even for kids if they know that the internet is part of real life and that they shouldn't do things on the internet that they wouldn't do in any other social setting. Don't live in a box because you're afraid of the world. Kiddos- use common sense.

Thanks scott for posting this. Safety on the internet, especially that of children, is serious business.

Sincerely,
Jonathan Treffkorn
Social Security number: just kidding!
 
darn, Jonathan, that was one excellent post. And good points from all. Having worked on World of Warcraft, and several other internet games (Diablo, Diablo II - and expansion, Starcraft, Warcraft II and III, etc.), my biggest point of pride is in creating systems where players are in direct social contact with people around the globe. When Diablo I came out, it was among the first true internet games. For the first time, players in the US were playing in the same game and chatting with people from Israel, Germany, Korea, and everywhere. And what's best is that it was totally unforced and natural, and I like to think it shrunk the world and lowered borders everywhere. But for all the good that the internet provides, one does have to pause and consider that there is also danger there, and simple precautions MUST be taught to children who often have unfettered internet access!

Capslock (Max Schaefer)
 
Just wanted to add one thing. I'm not editing it in to my original post because I think that one is fully long enough and is already rife with gramatical chaos.

As an afterthought: I was thinking about the following

[b said:
Quote[/b] ]On another forum I post at, a political forum, one member wrote in and was freaked out to discover her 12-year-old daughter was talking to adult men while playing World of Warcraft.

It's funny because the dad wasn't upset because the girl was playing the game (a place full of older people and intended for including an above-fourteen audience) but because she was communicating with someone out of her "age range."

As Capslock has shown, people put work in to creating the social aspect of things like this. The father wasn't mad about the game being out of the girls "age range," but the fact that there was someone from whose age the game is intended communicating with his daughter.

"My 14 year old daughter was in a bar the other day, and I caught her talking to a 20 year old! I scorned that 20 year old and threatened him never to do so again. What a pedo freak!"
 
[b said:
Quote[/b] (Est @ Aug. 24 2006,6:14)]"My 14 year old daughter was in a bar the other day, and I caught her talking to a 20 year old!  I scorned that 20 year old and threatened him never to do so again.  What a pedo freak!"
That is about the size of it, and that is the way society works, fair or not.

What I'm saying is that minors here should take into consideration the wellfare of adults with whom they interact -- by letting your parents know who you're talking to and why, this sort of misunderstanding won't happen. And even if completely innocent, this is the sort of thing that can wreck lives.

Google the "McMartin Trial".
 
did the guy know she was 12 before she started talking to him?

parents freak out a lot, with good reason i guess but they tend to jump to conclusions.
 
[b said:
Quote[/b] (JustLikeAPill @ Aug. 25 2006,2:43)]did the guy know she was 12 before she started talking to him?

parents freak out a lot, with good reason i guess but they tend to jump to conclusions.
I have no idea if he knew her age before they started talking, but according to the mother, he was already aware of her age, and stated he was careful not to discuss anything outside of gameplay with her.

And yes, parents do freak out, and they do tend to jump to conclusions.  I am a parent, and I would be no different, if I suddenly realised that adult men were interacting with my daughters.  If I knew what it was about and why (i.e., discussing a common hobby like growing plants and trading them), and knew I could check chat logs any time to verify they were OK, and could let the other people know that their activity with my daughters was subject to scrutiny, I would be more relaxed.

That's all I'm saying... make sure your parents know who we are.  Keep chat logs, if you don't already.  Invite your parents to introduce themselves to us.  Let them know you are planning to trade plants and giving out the address.  Even better, get a PO Box, or use as a shipping address a parent's work address (even better because it will likely be attended all day, and you don't run the risk of plants sitting in the hot sun).

Not only does this protect minors from predators, it protects decent people from false accusations.
 
[b said:
Quote[/b] (SarraceniaScott @ Aug. 25 2006,2:09)]And yes, parents do freak out, and they do tend to jump to conclusions. I am a parent, and I would be no different, if I suddenly realised that adult men were interacting with my daughters. If I knew what it was about and why (i.e., discussing a common hobby like growing plants and trading them), and knew I could check chat logs any time to verify they were OK, and could let the other people know that their activity with my daughters was subject to scrutiny, I would be more relaxed.
We are no longer as innocent as we once were. There was once a time when I could have left my house unlocked while I was running around town. But those times are gone now. We are constantly reminded of the weirdos out there by the TV news broadcasts and newspaper headlines. So we begin to suspect every stranger of being guilty until proven innocent. Not a good sign for a democratic society. But on the other hand, it's better safe than sorry. Especially with our children. You are our future. You will be the leaders of this country.
 
  • #10
IIRC, my mom looked at the GA sexual predator database and we have one within 1 mile from us
smile_k_ani_32.gif


i'm not aloud to sleep with my window blinds open anymore
 
  • #11
CT's list would include someone who had been a high school senior convicted of having a consensual relationship with a freshman. A kid is at much more risk from father, mother's boy friend, brother, brother's friend, uncle, ... than from the person a mile away who's on a predator list. A random person on the internet is even less of a threat.
 
  • #12
I feel like pointing out that there's a fair amount of blame to rest with many parents today. If you give your 12-year-old unfettered access to the internet and you're surprised to find out there are adults online too, capable of communicating with your kid, then I'm sorry, you shouldn't have internet service in your house. You have to be pretty ignorant not to see that coming. The internet is a communication medium, not an electronic babysitter, and people need to realize that. It's the parents' responsiblity to keep an eye on their kids, because sometimes, kids do stupid things.
Not that Scott's post is falling on deaf ears - I think the minors out there should get their parents involved in all their activities, particularly the things they do on the internet, and especially here, where trading plants and exchanging shipping information happens frequently. But that doesn't change the fact that this woman you mentioned gave her 12-year-old daughter free access to a game that's mostly played by teenage men and older, not to mention having a fair share of fantasy violence. If you're too stupid to know that you can cut yourself with a knife, then you have no business whatsoever giving your child a knife to play with; it's precisely the same with things like the internet. Would anyone hesitate to blame the parents for giving their kid a gory horror movie? "Oh, 'Jeepers Creepers' sounded like a cute title - I didn't know that there would be disemboweling!" Read the box!
This reminds me of a number of other 'shocking' discoveries people have recently made, such as when parents were dismayed to find their kids were watching violent and/or racy programs on premium cable channels. Or, my favorite, the indignitude that swept the nation when it occured to people that their internet activity at work might be monitored by the network technicians that operate the company connections - IMAGINE, your company acts as an intermediary to provide you with a service for the purpose of expediting your work, any they actually have the gall to keep tabs on how you use it. I know I, for one, was horrified. Or website profiling - you're submitting requests for information to a company, and they're sending information to you in return. How dare they be aware of what services you're soliciting and recieving from them!
Sorry to get all ranty on y'all, but really, have some personal accountability, folks. The internet is a privledge and a tool, not some perfect personal assistant that's totally infallible and benevolent. Don't coddle yourselves.
~Joe
 
  • #13
When I saw the topic of this thread I thought it had to do with the Sarracenia. I don't think "Request for minors" is the best choice of words. Sounds like you're in the market for them.
smile_n_32.gif
 
  • #14
I don't think a Sarracenia minor would have that much to say...
 
  • #15
And as for strange people, have any of you actually MET SarraceniaScott?

Just kidding Scott...couldn't resist.
 
  • #16
[b said:
Quote[/b] ]I don't think a Sarracenia minor would have that much to say...

i dont think a sarracenia minor wouldnt have much to say either. hahah thats hillarious what about heliamphora minor?
 
  • #17
im 16 and my parents always know when im online. usually i ask them before i give details to see if they they think im on a suspicious site.
 
  • #18
yeah, my parents know that I'm on the forums and they really don't care wether or not I talk to people.

IIRC, my mom looked at the GA sexual predator database and we have one within 1 mile from us

i'm not aloud to sleep with my window blinds open anymore

wow I'm glad that my parents aren't that parnoid.
 
  • #19
hmmm why do i feel really, really old all of a sudden LOL, geeze Ive got concert tee shirts older then most of the previous posters

grabs the party jar of geritol and remote, must be time for cspan

seriously speaking, good post and good advice

cheers'
Av
 
  • #20
i suppose i may as well admit it: i'm 17. i've been talking to people online pretty much ever since i had access to the internet.
 
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