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I'm not having a good day today. Read this if you have kids

  • #21
No I meant that they drove off with her and left josh in a ditch or on the ground or something. I don't know why they did that. Someone found him and called an ambulance is what I was told.

And yes because I used to do meth. But I'm over that. I still do drugs, yeah, they don't know that though. I don't do anything hardcore anymore and they can't seem to get over the fact that I used to use ice. They don't trust me for **** even though I'm a year ahead in school and a straight A student except for math, who doesn't lie cheat or steal, who now believes in God. I mean... Jesus Christ what the hell do they want from me? I'm always going to be Clint, the anomalie. The studious tweaker. Screw it I'm so.... I'm ranting lol. I'm just worked up. I'm about to cry man and I hate it. AND to top it off I'm having withdrawal from prozac since I've cut down my dosage by half so I'm even MORE emotional than I normally would have been.. but when I was on prozac this wouldn't even really have affected me and I'm crying and I'm glad that since the 8th grade I can cry again. They might let me go to the funeral but me a liz are just going to go real quick and see him one last time. I haven't seen him for two years since he quit school.
 
  • #22
I'm very sorry to hear about your loss, Clint. Hang in there - I'm not going to tell you that anything is going to make it hurt less, but it will get easier to deal with over time. Just try and spend some time with your loved ones and do your best. It sounds like you have every right to be angry, and you shouldn't feel bad about it, but try not to dwell on it too much right now if you can help it.
We're all here for you,
~Joe
 
  • #23
I'm really sorry Clint. Hang in there, you are being so strong, good for you. I'm sorry.
 
  • #24
They said I could go :)
 
  • #25
  • #26
I don't know yet. I hope he isn't all cut up and it's an open casket. I mean, I hope it is an open casket so and he's not cut up so I can see him. Is that weird?
 
  • #27
No that's not weird at all! Nobody wants to see their friend/loved ones look like that. I'm glad you can go :)
 
  • #28
i'm amazed you're strong enough to admit being upset. i don't think i could do that. it's good that you get to go to the funeral
 
  • #29
I'm glad you can go to the funeral. That can be hard but it kinda puts a finality on things. I can tell you it was the most bizarre thing to see my friend Joey laying a casket. It was unreal. I couldn't believe it was him in there. None of it still seems real even though I watched him get sick and was there when he died. We went to his gravesite April 25th, the anniversary, and it STILL doesn't seem real that he died even though I was looking at his grave marker and all the green grass that's grown over the burial site over the past year.

Sometimes tragedies like this make us look a little harder at our relationships with others...whether to make more of an effort not to take them for granted or even renewing old friendships that got lost along the way.

Things like this can happen at any time, when we aren't expecting it. So make your feelings known to those you care about as often as possible. :)
 
  • #30
To be honest his family was really poor and I don't know how they are going to pay for a funeral or anything. I Maybe his grandparents (he lived with them) have money stashed away for a rainy day. You've been really inspirational Suzanne. Today I was with my rents in the car and on my MP3 player, "Operate" came on by Peaches and the lyrics were "He's not dead he's gonna leave I see his eyes rolling back in his head" And I about busted out crying in the car and I feel so bad and... damn I'm just so angry and mad and sad and I want to just.. Damn I want to just take something like now but I'm not going to. It's... I don't even know why I'm so mad. He was just a little tweaker but... I dunno why I'm so upset. I could get all Freudian but I'll spare you :) And you know what really makes me want to cry? People who didn't know him will just say "Oh there's another meth head off of the streets" and they won't really even care and he'll just be another drunk-driving statistic. And... UGH! I'm sick of this.
 
  • #31
sorry for the loss.

i can see that you're a sharp kid- don't ever let that go to waste for anything. (but you already know that) it's kind of dismal, but i agree with you totally in your first post that this guy is actually kind of better off with this outcome. leaves a bitter and sad spot in the heart, even makes you fell sort of twisted for thinking it but i totally understand what you mean. and that was bluntly honest. you're normal for feeling sad/bad cause although the poor guy was on drugs, it was a human life.

just hang in there.
 
  • #32
:-( :cry: :eek: :sorry: I'm sorry for your losses. Please no drug
 
  • #33
There is no such thing as another meth head. He was another beautiful person going down the wrong path.
 
  • #34
They had a veil over him and he was like all swollen so no one could see him. Given the circumstances, I don't know why it was even an open-casket. I talked to Elizabeth's mom because Elizabeth didn't even bother to call. Elizabeth went without me and I'm pissed about that. Hell if I know why she did that, guess she didn't want us to support each other, she went with her mom. Oh well, maybe it was for the best. I have time to make it but they are about to bury him and I didn't want to see that anyway. I'm really mad at Elizabeth. She's always been flaky like that, though. To everyone. Atleast I have closure I guess. Not really but you know. I've accepted it.

I told her mom to tell her I called to be polite, but really I hope she doesn't. After what she did to me (or rather didn't do) I don't really want to talk to her again. Especially since she's the one who wanted me to go with her.
 
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