mugged

[Ridetsu]

So... about 3 hours ago, i got mugged.

*sigh*

three years of aikido, and i got mugged.. and it wasn't pretty. But my defeat is the least of my worries - i'm fine save for a messed up nose, and a busted up lip/tooth. I didn't have any money with me, so i didn't lose anything but pride.

No.. what is most unsettling, is who did it. Two black males. Both of them dressed like hoodlums.
Now befopre anyone gets accusatory, i am a white male.. 6'7, 230 lbs, dressed like a goth in all black and with a few spikes. I grew up in roseburg - a city with maybe 5 black people, and moved to eugene, where there are maybe 8 black people - 3 of them are good friends of mine (i'm exaggerating of course, but to say the least, there aren't many of them here).
My father was a klansman, and he took me to a lot of rallies when i was a kid. A divorce and years of meditation later, i would like to think i am not racist - hell i'm the first to say i love black people - i even have black friends who i would gladly die for.
But now... now i fear i won't be able to see black people who are dressed 'gangsta' the same way - and i fear that may spread to black people as a whole.
I just want some advice on what i should do, and what i should think about... i'm really messed up over this, and i don't want to let racism take seed in me again. When i saw another black guy though, just walking down the street after talking to the police, i couldn't take my eyes off him, and i felt myself getting ready for a fight.
I don't want to live a life of fear of a color, since it could have been a white, a mexican, an asian, anything.
Any advice would be nice... thanks

 

[nepenthes_ak]

Your father planted a seed in you a long long time ago when he was taking you to the klan meetings. I really dont know how to awnser you. Think of it this way, How do you think people think you look, all gothed up. Your a big guy you wouldprobably look peaty threatening. Im sure "gangsters" and "hoodlums" would feel just as threatend as you do now, of course i wouldnt know why, but I really cant tell you why people act the way they do some times.

Just give second chances, remember, not every one is the same so dont put them in the same category because the way they look. Heck next time you get mugged it could be from a hispanic punk. But we can hope that This is the last time you get mugged!

 

[seedjar]

Well, first off, give yourself a few days. Getting mugged is scary, no matter who it happens to; if you weren't intimidated, it would hardly be a mugging. It kind of sounds to me like you've probably lived in predominantly white areas most of your life, and so you might be in the habit of singling people out mentally by their skin color. While it is racism, it doesn't have to be a prejudiced kind of racism. If you've only had memorable interactions with a handful of black people and this mugging is now one of those, then it's only natural for you to be a little uneasy at first. If you'd never had food out of a can before, and your third can of Coke had a severed finger in it, you might have some trouble breaking the association between the two. Analogies aside, I think in the long run the best way to get away from racism is to get into some diverse communities, or go spend some time in a place where white people are in the minority. You'll never not be aware of a person's race; one's ancestry has a lot to do with one's personal appearance, and unfortunately outward appearances are often the only things we have available to identify. So long as you're rational, though, you can at least keep from being a bigot. Also, if you're into martial arts and self-defense and such, spend some time honing your awareness. It's a lot easier to not judge someone by their appearance when you're paying attention to their behavior. But really; take some deep breaths, relax, sleep on it, and I'm sure you'll start to feel better.
~Joe

 

[Pyro]

Hey Ride,

I might be able to help. I am originally from the town of Evergreen CO. Small town, like where you came from, only a handful of African-Americans in the town. I lived in CO till I was 24, Ft. Collens for college and Denver for a spell before I moved here. Neither Ft Collins or Denver have a substantial African-American population but more than Evergreen. I don't have the family history that you have which might make your situation different but at least as a starting place similar.

Six years ago I moved to Atlanta. Can you say culture shock?! LOL. Honestly though, no major difference. We are all humans in the end, ne?

Enter my altered world view. Couple years ago I was burglarized. I was at work and my mother-in-law took the other car to the store and left the garage open. My wife was home with out infant daughter. She heard something in the garage and for a moment thought it was the garbage men. But then she wondered why they would be in the garage. So she opened the door from the house to the garage and came, literally, face to face with 3 black guys laoding our stuff into the back of their truck. She calmly talked to them and asked them to stop and told them they were throwing theior lives away for no good reason. The guys freaked and took off. My wife chased them down the driveway and the road, got the plate number and then called 911. In the end only one guy was caught (the idiots used their own truck!!) and he basically got off with a verbal warning (which ticked me off to no end but I was not told when the hearing was so...)

Incident #2. Not 2 weeks ago I was at Walgreens. A black guy goes around behind the counter and starts grabbing boxes of Swisher Sweets. The clerk tried to stop him and he pulled a gun. The counter was right by the door and I was right there so when he came around I was in his way. He put the gun in my face and told me he would shoot if I tried anything. It is a life altering experience looking down the barrel of a gun from about 8" away, especially when it is being weilded by someone whose world view is so jacked up that Swishers are something worth possibly killing over.

After the burglary I very seriously considered buying a gun (still considering actually.) I also started segregating people mentally. There are the African-Americans who are great people, my next door neighboors, my co-workers, etc. And then there are the scum-sucking lowlife *******s who will drive up your driveway and steal your posessions in broad daylight or stick a gun in your face over a couple boxes of chaep cigars.

Here is the thing though. Those scum-suckers can be any colour/race. That is what you have to remember. The guy who pulled the gun on me, I saw him down the road on my way home. He was with a few other guys, one of whom was latino and 2 where white. But they were all birds of a feather, dressed in the same style clothes, all wearing dewrags. It could just have easily been one of the other guys who pulled a gun on me and I would view them exactly the same. The colour of their skin does not change the fact that they are ruffians.

Or, to look at it from the other way; Samuel L Jackson isn't a n*****. Eddie Murphy isn't a n*****. Oprah isn't a n*****. They are African-American. They are just people. All things being equal most all of us are. Except for the ruffians and they can be any colour.

 

[droseraguy]

Dang dude, that is pretty harsh. I think it would make me think twice as well. It all comes back to what you know is right though. There are idiots of every race, color and creed. Chances are there aren't alot of rednecks in OR. either, but if a couple of them jumped you it would leave an impression as well. (Apologies to all rednecks as it is just an example not a judgment of character) As seedjar said give it a few days and hopefully your perspective will come back.

 

[PlantAKiss]

I think it has more to do with the situation than race. Several years ago I went through a terrible dog attack. A dog broke through its owners fence and went after my dog Jonah. I picked Jonah up and was holding him as high as I could, kicking and screaming at the dog as it repeatedly lunged at him (and me). No one was around to help me. This lasted for quite a while and just as I thought I couldn't hang on any longer, the dog's owner came running out of the house and eventually got hold of his dog. We both fell to the ground exhausted. Jonah wasn't hurt and neither was I but for years after that, every time I'd be walking Jonah and I'd see a dog that was not on a leash, I'd start to shake and my legs would turn to jelly. That had never bothered me before but it was an uncontrollable physical response. Its gotten better now but it took some time.

My point is...its sort of like Post Traumatic Stress Disorder...you react on a subconcious level to something that reminds you of a rough experience. I attached that particular scary situation to ALL unleashed dogs even though it was just that ONE that attacked/scared me.

As long as you know its not the person's race but its the situation you're reacting to, then time will make it better.

It's funny because all through the dog attack, it never crossed my mind that *I* could get hurt (bitten). All I cared about and all my energy went to keeping Jonah safe. It's amazing what a huge shot of adrenalin can do. lol

Sorry to hear about the mugging but I'm glad you're alright.

 

[Jefforever]

In Oregon?!?!?!?!??!?! :O

Don't feel bad; it was two against one

 

[Clint]

I think it's interesting how some people would be inclined to associate race with muggings and other violent crime but I usually associate it with poverty. I mean, I don't see many rich people mugging other people. Maybe that makes me..... incomeist? I would have just given them the money if they tried to hurt me. It's not worth it. Carry mace in case it happens again, or a taser.

This is a very sad fact indeed, and I blame it on the events from slavery, but unfortunately many AA's in the city are impoverished. They didn't really have an opportunity to accumulate wealth a long time ago. It's so hard for some people to get out of a situation they were born into, such as poverty and living in a crime infested area, particularly in inner cities. On the flip side, in a place like... Kansas City (just making up a random place), or a place like Pickens County, GA where I'm from that is mostly white (Only 1.27% of the pop is AA at last census), all of the crime is by white people, particularly meth heads and in once case, a cop who became a meth head, here atleast.

For the record, I don't think you're a racist REALLY. At least not in a malevolent way. Your father was a... well let's say I don't have kind feelings for people like that what so ever, but it's really not your fault he exposed you to such hate at a young age. Things experienced when young can have a profound subconscious effect on the Super Ego. But, at the same time you need to realize that your feelings are unwarranted, any anyone of any race can be responsible for anything. It's not a race issue, it's a human issue and your fears are unwarranted. Do you like it when people make assumptions about you just because you dress a certain way or wear makeup or whatever? Well, imagine an entire people with a long history of that before you start making stereotypes.


I find it .... disappointing that you would say they were dressed like hoodlums. What does a hoodlum dress like? Baggy pants, jewelry and a hoodie? Maybe a doo rag? That describes almost every mainstream rapper that makes more money than you or I could ever dream of. Clothes don't matter one bit. I don't know how you can say that when you were dressed like a "goth" and you should know how it feels to be discriminated against by the way you dress. There is nothing wrong at all with dressing like a "gangsta" as you say. I mean, it's not my personal taste but then again I like the Queer Eye for the Straight Guy look, and not everyone else does lmao. It's a matter of personal taste and does not reflect a person what so ever.

I always try not to be freudian but.... you said "I don't want to live a life of fear of a color, since it could have been a white, a mexican, an asian, anything. " I think you are assuming all hispanic people are from Mexico, when most are not. That's sort of racist.

Maybe you should try conquering your fears? Next time you see a black man you're afraid of, go up and ask him if he has the time or he knows where a certain street is. I bet you'll be pleasantly surprised because black people are just like white people are just like asian people are his like hispanic people etc. Everyone is inherently good, I believe, and most people will be happy to tell you the time if you're polite.

Harvard made a test to somehow you associate race. It was on Oprah. Take it and if it says you aren't racist maybe that will make you feel better? Scroll down to race test, they also have other tests like presidential preference and sexuality and gender.

https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/demo/selectatest.html

 

[jiana54]

jlap
-cool website. tests were kinda lengthy but still awesome.

 

[Ridetsu]

gratsi

thanks for all your advice - it is very gretly appreciated. I'bv got an appointment with a doctor in about an hour to get one of my teeth looked at.

justLikeAPill - thank you for the website, its definitely very insightful. I wanted to explain though, what i meant by "hoodlums". Yes, they dressed like rappers i guess - but what i meant more-so was that they weren't wearing suites and ties, and they looked fairly low-life. But of course, that appearance to me is maybe something i haven't come to a conclusion over myself. I know what its like to dress a certain way, and be treated differently (although i don't wear make-up ).
I dunno... to me, 'hoodlum' and 'gangster' are pants worn beneath the butt without a belt, wifebeater shirts, huge necklaces, a hate covered in drug symbols and worn a certain way... but you know, anyone can be that.. to me though, that's what i see. I wish i didn't though, i wish i could just see people, like me, who choose to wear what they do.

I know i'm somewhat racist. I know when i see a black person, i get edgy and tense... and seeing them commit crimes doesn't help that image either. But i would never act on it... I'v sworn to be different than my father was, and am proud to be who i am today. While i know a very evil thing is inside me, my morals, training, and meditation have allowed me to keep from acting on such hatreds.
Having black friends helps too.. i talked to one of them this morning and he gave me a ot of advice.. we're going out for ice-cream this afternoon after my doctor's meeting to talk it over.

thank you all for your advice... sleeping really helped out, and i'm feeling a bit less tense this morning. You guys and gals are great though - this is advice i will take with me to the grave.

 

[phissionkorps]

Guhhh stop calling them african americans. They're black. You could be black but from England, or the Czech republic, or Germany, etc. I also have lots of friends that are white and from Africa. That term is stupid and misleading.

Blaming actions of black or at least inner-city blacks on slavery is ignorant and ridiculous. Slavery ended 142 years ago. If someone blames committing crimes on slavery they are lazy and should get an education and/or get their act together instead of complaining about events that their great grandfather didn't even go through and expect someone else to fix it for them.

Some people don't want to associate race with crime, but you simply can't ignore the facts.
http://www.amren.com/color.pdf


I'm sure for presenting the facts and not acting protective of blacks, im going to get called a racist, but so be it. This is a day and age where everyone has to be "politically correct" or else risk being called something-ist. I think its disgusting that if you don't subscribe to one particular view and try to present the other side of the story, you're being a bigot or a racist.

 

[Peanut]

guhhh stop calling them african americans. They're black. You could be black but from England, or the Czech republic, or Germany, etc. I also have lots of friends that are white and from Africa. That term is stupid and misleading

I sometimes say African Americans to show respect. Some people at my school get offended when I say blacks and some people get offended when I say African American.

Ridestsu, poor guy, I hope you are ok. :-(

 

[Clint]

I hope you didn't misinterpret what I said. I didn't blame crime on their slavery, I blamed the fact that so many are impoverished on the fact that they haven't had generations to build estates and pass down like so many white families have. Minorities have historically had a very bad deal, it's very sad. It's hard for some people to escape what they were born into. I believe that most people are product of their environment. For example if you grew up in a ghetto where crime and gang activity was common, there's a greater chance you'd be sucked in. If , on the other hand, you were born in the burbs to a middle-upper class family, chances are you aren't going to rob a bank or a garage.


No, people should NOT associate race with crime. Yes the statistics are scientific but I associate income and dwelling with crime, not race. Most statistics don't really reflect all of the variables. You don't see a bunch of rich kids, black white or purple, robbing little old ladies do you? No, you see inner city people with low incomes doing it. It's not about race, it's about environment. And for the record I don't associate low-income with crime, I associate crime with low-income and that sounds tricky but it's not the same thing. I also support affirmative action 100%.

 

[nepenthes_ak]

Look, I know this is a rough topic, but if you really feel that you are racist, which isn't a good thing. But you also seem to want help on the subject, i know this might seem kinda far fetched, but maybe try talking to a professional about it, I my self hate councilors, and understand why you wouldn't want to go, but it might help you think more positively about racists.

 

[phissionkorps]

Its not hard to escape if you have the drive. I have a friend who was born in Serbia, which his family then fled when he was about 4. They lived in a freaking attic for years whie their dad persued a degree...and now the guy makes 6 figures. Its definitely possible to go from not knowing where your next meal is coming from to successful if you have the drive. My dad was born into a lower middle class family where he pretty much had to pay for everything himself...and now hes a cosmetic surgeon. Its really not hard to succeed in America.

Race and crime are definitely related as they should be. You can't just ignore the facts or try to pass it off...that would be ignorant and ridiculous. I guess the white equivalent of the projects is a trailer park...but you don't see white trash running around murdering people and burglarizing to the same extent that those things occur in the ghetto.

Affirmative action is the second worst American law to ever exist, behind prohibition. Minorities should get equality and nothing else. When you help minorities with things like affirmative action, you are in turn discriminating against whites. Remember Bakke vs. UC Davis? In terms of medical school, giving someone admission because they are a certain race is ludicrous. If you're going to have brain surgery, would you rather have someone that was extremely highly qualified...or someone that doesn't know so much what they are doing, but got there because they are a minority? Medicine is a very delicate profession, the practice of which is an extreme privilege. Accepting people that are underqualified into the field based on race is like sentencing their patients to death. After all...when you're under anesthesia, who gives a dang what the doctor looks like?

 

[PlantAKiss]

OK folks. The discussion is fine. But PLEASE do not use *'s to bypass the filter. Its there for a reason! An * does nothing to "disguise" what you're saying. I'm sure most of the people here aren't offended by it but this is considered a "family" site and so we have the language rules and bypassing the filter with other characters is a . I've had to edit this topic three times for language.

NO MORE please. C'mon ...didn't you learn some useful vocabulary in school??

 

[phissionkorps]

what is it was just 4 *'s? Then it could be a couple words

 

[PlantAKiss]

lol Well, no letters and just *s is a **** of a lot better than omitting just one letter. At least it leaves something to the imagination.

 

[bugfreak]

just quickly going through this thread.

dude, i hope you are okay. i am proud that you did not let this incident change your outlook on an entire race of people. i think i'm the only person who's black/part black here and i'm kinda scared/nervous to respond but for what it's worth, i truly hope you are okay. (i'm a pretty strange cookie- i don't really fit in with the vw community that well and people are shocked when they find out i'm not white)

 

[FarmerDave]

wow!
yeah dude I feel sorry for you.
I go to a school where the student pop. is 22% white and 88% other ethnicity, but mostly black, and I was seriously scared because of all of the bad stories that I've heard (no doubt from ignorant racist whites in hickville where I live). But you can't look at people as different colors, unless of course if you are wanting people to do the same.

However I agree with phissionkorps in the sense that they could always leave. Here's an example:my mom was part of a poor polish family in ole Penn. She hated living up there, so she gathered up all of her money and moved down to FL where she later met my dad. but that's a different story.Anyways, she fended for herself and lived off of tap water and ramen for almost 3 years until she found herself a good job. The sad thing is that most Ghetto hoodlums usually don't fight that lifestyle. And for the record: I think of a hoodlum as a person that insists on dressing in baggy pants and shirts and generally would rather do crime instead of get a job.