thought i was bleeding to death, turns out im "depressed".....

[rattler]

go figure.........woke up Monday morning not feeling right...couldnt really put my finger on what was wrong, didnt feel sick, just felt exhausted......after 8 hours of unconsciousness i was still tired. i go to work get a couple printing jobs done seeing that im caught up with work and still not feeling right i went back to the couch in the back of the shop and lay down for a bit....quiting time rolls around and my wife(who is also my boss) came back and woke me up and we headed home...i get home, grab something to eat and promptly go back to bed.

Tuesday morning i get up and its another day of the same sorta thing(for those thinking its odd that the boss pays me to sleep, i get paid the same amount every week regardless of the hours i put in....as long as the works done it dont matter if i work 2 hours a day or 10...this week is a rough week for me as ill be playing photographer at the rodeo so im technically at work 15 hours today, 15 hours tomorrow as well as working part of Saturday which i normally have off......i dont complain about the system cause when all is sorted out i get payed for more hours than i work)

Wednesday morning after i drive a 100 mile round trip to pick up the newspapers from the printer and get them out on the newstands i head back to take a nap till the other paper is ready to be printed......about this time my wife finds me sleeping again and i guess she tweaked a lil and called the doc....course i was about ready to anyways.....her mind and mine basically went int he same direction. we both kinda figured i was anemic and about the only way that would make sense was a bleeding ulcer since i had been eating beef all weekend. why did we head down this train of thought? well i take alot of NSAID's to get me through the day, they are good at causing ulcers..........i am also to pick one and only one of the NSAID's, apparently they arent ment to be mixed

i get up to the docs this morning, tell her my theory and her eyes get big and she asks me just what ive been taking. i told her 800mg of advil, 220 of Aleve and 200 of Celebrex to kick start my day with my morning caffine.....well she kicks me out quick for blood work to check my hematocrit......i wait around the office awhile for the blood work report. meanwhile my blood pressures checked....torqued off my wife, even with the opiates out of my system its still lower than hers :grin:

blood results come back....everythings normal, infact everything looks great. so the doc says more than likely what happened is a symptom of depression. being that ive had knee problems for 12 years of which the last 4 have been constant and chronic, my mind has about had enough of just dealing with the pain. with in the last few weeks ive spent most of 4 days walking around on the concrete in Vegas, had some rough days at work as well as some bad storm systems moving through screwing with the air pressure.......basically my body and subconscious had enough of dealing with the pain and decided to shut me down for a few days.

so i go up figuring im bleeding to death and come to find out im actually depressed..........i think i can deal with that :grin: the wife asked the doc if i needed "happy pills" and the doc said no, we are going to try one more thing with the knees and if that doesnt work your going to a specialist(once again) ASAP. doc says do everything in my power to make sure i get a good nights sleep every night even if it means doping me up pretty good on my narcotics and most of the fatigue will go away. but mainly we need to find a solution to the knee pain ASAP and get it gone..........im also to pick one, and only one of the NSAID's....apparently your not supposed to mix them......

 

[Clint]

Sorry man. Have you considered asking to try a Fentanyl patch?

 

[rattler]

nope......actually i guess there is a specific type of depression that goes with chronic pain......it has nothing to do with a chemical imbalance or anything....mostly it has to do with the lack of getting good sleep......i have no interest in any form of "happy pills" it kinda struck me as odd when she said it was likely a form of depression cause i rarely feel depressed, atleast my understanding of it.....its more the subconsious's reaction to the constant pain. basically i overloaded myself and my body decided it was time for some rest. actually im happier than hell after the visit to the doc....my choleteral is great, im finally back under 200 pounds....found out im not bleeding to death.......hell its a good day :grin:

 

[herenorthere]

My mom's in a similar situation after knee replacement surgery. Depression can have a huge effect on a person's life and it's unfortunate that some people can't see that it's real. I think a lot of psychiatrists and psychologists are too quick to diagnose something and big pharma has a pill to match. Some people use the diagnosis as an excuse to avoid life's difficulties, but no one can accuse you of being a slacker. I know I've accused you of all kinds of things, but never of that. I think what most of us consider to be depression is just being sad and, after having a few family members and friends struggling with the real thing, I no longer say happy pills. Any more than heart medicine or insulin are happy pills. Anyway, whatever you do, don't take it as a sign of weakness. You're already only half a man because of the knees, so it isn't as if you can go any lower.

 

[seedjar]

Sorry to hear about that, but at least it isn't as bad as you thought. You might look into coming up with some sort of exercise regimen - exercise has been shown very effective for nearly all types of depression. I'm in a similar situation, and although being active is uncomfortable most of the time, it leaves me feeling a lot better than a day of idling.
Best luck,
~Joe

 

[rattler]

i dont get down on myself nearly often enough to think i need some pill to help....the doc said i would only need help getting better sleep and maybe helping with some stress....not the kinda thing i would start taking another pill for.......im just going to up my night time dose of narcotics and try and get more good sleep. maybe spend more time on my exercize bike in the evenings.......hell if i loose another 15 pounds it will prolly help my knee pain anyways :grin: my main problem is while im getting 8 hours of sleep a night im not getting 8 good hours, my knees hurt so im constantly waking up all through the night... for stress......guess i just gotta get out shooting more......nothing like blowing up milk jugs at long range to help reduce stress :grin:

 

[Ridetsu]

Sadly i can't offer you much advice, especially since i'm only 19 (almost 20) and haven't had these experiences yet. However, when in highschool and even through college thus far, i have worked as a peer councelor, and sort of have a good track record when it comes to helping people out with depression - usually though, its the suicidal angsty depression, and not the biological one.
So, take my advice if you wish to... i'm not offended if you call me crazy or anything else.

Have you got any hobbies? I mean, of course cruising the net and being an... 'active' forum member here (omg, 5,000 posts? you're crazy..) and growing CPs is one thing... but do you consider it the same hobby as it was when you started? A lot of what i see, is people who take up a hobby, get bored with it, but keep doing it for the sake of not knowing anything else to do, since it becomes a scheduled hobby that ingrains itself into your life - making it fairly mundane and monotonous after a while.
I'm sure you have hobbies, but are they the same hobbies they used to be? Do they feel more like chores sometimes, and not a pastime activity?
If so, you may want to find some way to reinvigorate that hobby - or even find new hobbies after ditching some old ones. Remember that a hobby is a choice you make for yourself - and its a choice that you make to continue doing so.

I don't know if i have helped, but if you need any advice or anything like that, i would be honored to be of some use to you.

 

[rattler]

Ridetsu.....how old due you think i am? ill give yah a clue....my knee problems started at 13.....i dont have to many years on yah :grin:

as for hobbies, ive got the CP's and orchids, rifles, precious and semiprecious gemstones, i hunt and i fish, ive got various exotic frogs.....ive got plenty of distractions.

as for my post count, i get into alot of arguments with Finch and herenorthere :grin:

now im off to the rodeo to take pics............

 

[Ridetsu]

while those do pose great distractions, do you ever find yourself not wanting to do them? Like.. do you hunt and fish, to assure yourself you haven't 'wasted' money/time on equipment/training? You know, that kinda thing..

As for your age... nyah

 

[Clint]

I NEVER understood why they call them "happy pills". SSRI's and MAOI's don't make you happy, they make you not depressed. The feeling they gave isn't happiness, it's neutrality at best (with a dead sex drive at worst )

They aren't "happy pills" they are necessary medication to those that need them. It's not Ecstasy.

 

[rattler]

JLAP........im aware of that, ive had several college courses in psyc :grin: however, the opposite of depressed is happy there for "happy pills" :grin: two of my coworkers are on them for various reasons. i dont and my doc dont feel my issues are bad enough to give me a pill to take care of it.....she just figures we should not wait as long as we were going to for the next attempt at fixing them.......

sure i waste money on guns.....just ask my wife :grin:

 

[phissionkorps]

Hope things end up working out for you man.

Btw I just got a 1970 Remington 760 chambered for 30-06 in PERFECT condition...thought you might appreciate that.

 

[rattler]

my father in law has one of those, his favorite rifle. im not much for pumps though. my last rifle i got through trading. a Kimber 84M in 260 Remington......5.25 pounds before scope......under 7 ready to hunt :grin: it also likes to put the first two shots into the same hole though the third one is going through a fairly warm skinny barrel and it likes to make the group a half inch across.....this with factory ammo.....going to have to try some AMax's and Berger's in handloads and really see what it can do...........i think i have a new favorite rifle :grin: i REALLY would like to get ahold of one of the new Ruger #1's in 450/400 Nitro but i doubt ill have the funds........might have to just hold off and order me a Sharps in one of their 50 cals as a Christmas present :grin:

 

[phissionkorps]

Nice!

50 cal rifles are awesome, but I think paying $1.50 a round would quickly put a dent in my college student wallet...and a crack in my shoulder

 

[PlantAKiss]

Well...sorry to hear about the depression but good to know you're in such health otherwise. Depression takes many forms and comes from many causes. Unfortunately it does tend to get lumpy into the "sad" category. Being diagnosed with depression should not have any shame attached to it. It can happen to anyone at any age. I hope they can get a solution to the knee pain that will end it for good. Chronic pain sucks.

nothing like blowing up milk jugs at long range to help reduce stress

Now there's an activity with guns I approve of.

 

[rattler]

your thinking the wrong 50....ive got lil interest in a 20 plus pound rifle.....im prolly going to go with the 50-90 Sharps in a 1874 reproduction around 11 pounds all up