I was depressed last night so I called Lifeline.
Got a call center in Pakistan.
Told them I was suicidal.
They got all excited and asked if I could fly a plane.
*********************************************
The teacher was very curious about how each of her students' celebrated Christmas Eve "Tell me Patrick, what do you do on Christmas Eve?" she asked.
Patrick addressed the class. "Well Miss, me and my twelve brothers and sisters go to midnight Mass and we sing hymns, then we come home very late and we put mince pies by the back door and hang up our stockings. Then all excited we go to
bed and wait for Santa to come with all our toys."
"Very nice Patrick, now Jimmy Brown, what do you do?"
"Well Miss, me and my sister go to Church with Mom and Dad and we sing carols and we get home ever so late. We put cookies and milk by the chimney and we hang up our stockings. We hardly sleep waiting for Santa Claus to bring our presents."
Remembering there was a Jewish boy in the class and not wanting to leave him out of the discussion, she asked, "Now Jimmy Cohen, what do you do on Christmas Eve?"
"Well Miss, it's the same old thing every year. Dad comes home from the office..
We all pile into the Rolls and drive to his toy factory. When we get inside we look at all the empty shelves and sing "What a friend we have in Jesus". Then we go to the Bahamas."
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Two Cajun hunters get a pilot to fly them to Canada to hunt moose. They bag six. As Boudreaux and Thibodeaux start loading the plane for the return trip, the Pilot says "The plane can only take four of those."
The two Cajuns object strongly. "Last year we shot six and the pilot let us put them all on board; he had the same plane as yours."
Reluctantly, the pilot gives in and all six are loaded. However, even with full power, the little plane can't handle the load and down it goes and crashes in the middle of nowhere.
A few moments later, climbing out of the wreckage, Boudreaux asks Thibodeaux , "Any idea where we are?"
"I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year. " says Thibodeaux.
Got a call center in Pakistan.
Told them I was suicidal.
They got all excited and asked if I could fly a plane.
*********************************************
The teacher was very curious about how each of her students' celebrated Christmas Eve "Tell me Patrick, what do you do on Christmas Eve?" she asked.
Patrick addressed the class. "Well Miss, me and my twelve brothers and sisters go to midnight Mass and we sing hymns, then we come home very late and we put mince pies by the back door and hang up our stockings. Then all excited we go to
bed and wait for Santa to come with all our toys."
"Very nice Patrick, now Jimmy Brown, what do you do?"
"Well Miss, me and my sister go to Church with Mom and Dad and we sing carols and we get home ever so late. We put cookies and milk by the chimney and we hang up our stockings. We hardly sleep waiting for Santa Claus to bring our presents."
Remembering there was a Jewish boy in the class and not wanting to leave him out of the discussion, she asked, "Now Jimmy Cohen, what do you do on Christmas Eve?"
"Well Miss, it's the same old thing every year. Dad comes home from the office..
We all pile into the Rolls and drive to his toy factory. When we get inside we look at all the empty shelves and sing "What a friend we have in Jesus". Then we go to the Bahamas."
*****************************************************************
Two Cajun hunters get a pilot to fly them to Canada to hunt moose. They bag six. As Boudreaux and Thibodeaux start loading the plane for the return trip, the Pilot says "The plane can only take four of those."
The two Cajuns object strongly. "Last year we shot six and the pilot let us put them all on board; he had the same plane as yours."
Reluctantly, the pilot gives in and all six are loaded. However, even with full power, the little plane can't handle the load and down it goes and crashes in the middle of nowhere.
A few moments later, climbing out of the wreckage, Boudreaux asks Thibodeaux , "Any idea where we are?"
"I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year. " says Thibodeaux.