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politically incorrect jokes......................they aint that bad

I was depressed last night so I called Lifeline.
Got a call center in Pakistan.
Told them I was suicidal.
They got all excited and asked if I could fly a plane.


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The teacher was very curious about how each of her students' celebrated Christmas Eve "Tell me Patrick, what do you do on Christmas Eve?" she asked.

Patrick addressed the class. "Well Miss, me and my twelve brothers and sisters go to midnight Mass and we sing hymns, then we come home very late and we put mince pies by the back door and hang up our stockings. Then all excited we go to
bed and wait for Santa to come with all our toys."

"Very nice Patrick, now Jimmy Brown, what do you do?"

"Well Miss, me and my sister go to Church with Mom and Dad and we sing carols and we get home ever so late. We put cookies and milk by the chimney and we hang up our stockings. We hardly sleep waiting for Santa Claus to bring our presents."

Remembering there was a Jewish boy in the class and not wanting to leave him out of the discussion, she asked, "Now Jimmy Cohen, what do you do on Christmas Eve?"

"Well Miss, it's the same old thing every year. Dad comes home from the office..
We all pile into the Rolls and drive to his toy factory. When we get inside we look at all the empty shelves and sing "What a friend we have in Jesus". Then we go to the Bahamas."


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Two Cajun hunters get a pilot to fly them to Canada to hunt moose. They bag six. As Boudreaux and Thibodeaux start loading the plane for the return trip, the Pilot says "The plane can only take four of those."

The two Cajuns object strongly. "Last year we shot six and the pilot let us put them all on board; he had the same plane as yours."

Reluctantly, the pilot gives in and all six are loaded. However, even with full power, the little plane can't handle the load and down it goes and crashes in the middle of nowhere.

A few moments later, climbing out of the wreckage, Boudreaux asks Thibodeaux , "Any idea where we are?"

"I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year. " says Thibodeaux.
 
I love jokes!!!
especially politically incorrect jokes!!!

I think that for some reasons they are always the funniest!
I love racial jokes especially the white ones!!!

I think that they help to get people much more loose and easy with each other, cause they can joke about their differences
 
Wanna hear a joke?
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Women's rights

That one gets laughs out of 50% of the room, unfortunately, the other half never wants to go out with me afterward.
 
Here's one a friend sent me:


Q: How many Bush Administration officials does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None. There is nothing wrong with the light bulb; its conditions are improving every day. Any reports of its lack of incandescence are a delusional spin from the liberal media. That light bulb has served honorably, and anything you say undermines the lighting effect. Why do you hate freedom?
 
JLAP tkaes it!

that may be my new sig! :-))
 
Q: What are the two worst things about Bill Clinton?
A: His face.

:jester:
 
One beautiful December evening Pedro and his girlfriend Rosita were sitting beside the ocean.





It was a romantic full moon, when Pedro said,


"Hey, mamacita, let's do Weeweechu."





Oh no, not now, let's look at the moon!" said Rosita.





Oh, c'mon baby, let's you and I do Weeweechu.
I love you and it's the perfect time," Pedro begged.
"But I wanna just hold your hand and watch the moon." replied Rosita.



Please, corazoncito, just once, do Weeweechu with me."





Rosita looked at Pedro and said, "OK, one time, we'll do Weeweechu."





Pedro grabbed his guitar and they both sang.....





"Weeweechu a Merry Christmas,
Weeweechu a Merry Christmas,
Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year."
 
  • #11
I grew up in Louisiana...that's sooooo Cajun... LOL
 
  • #12
My roomate loves telling politically incorrect jokes… usually having to do with dead babies, priests, and very deviant sexuality.
 
  • #13
My roomate loves telling politically incorrect jokes… usually having to do with dead babies, priests, and very deviant sexuality.

What's the difference between a Ford Mustang and a pile of dead babies?
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I don't have a Mustang in my garage
 
  • #14
i hear too much of those already, thankyou.






(And plus, i have heard it 10 times before... lol.)
 
  • #15
It's still pretty funny, lol.

xvart.
 
  • #16
There's also the eternal:

What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree?
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1 dead baby nailed to 10 trees


Also,
What's funnier than a baby in a blender?
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Nothing!
 
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  • #17
hmmmmmmmmmm and i was concerned i might torque someone off...........makes the interview with a dead terrorist down right tame
 
  • #18
What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies?





You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

I saw a website devoted to dead baby jokes. I laughed so hard! I'm sick!
 
  • #19
Ok ok. Settle down. I foresee complaints coming in.
I don't like getting complaints.
I make sure to pass that sentiment on to the people who're responsible. ;)
 
  • #20
every time i mention it...

I really dont care. Those are the least offensive ones my roommate knows so theres no risk i might be offended. Anyways if these guys come up with one i haven't heard, i can throw it back at him.
 
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