What's new
By:
Filters
TerraForums Venus Flytrap, Nepenthes, Drosera and more talk

Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

If this isnt a test..

BuddhistAdam

BuddhistAdam

Then Idk what one is.
My life is really horrible right now. My dad is depressed and a drunk, my sister is depressed, my girlfriend is depressed and I'm about to lose her. I'm depressed and about to lose my mind with everything else. My car is smashed, I have a $500 ticket, no money, I'm still grieving for my mom, I'm getting nervous about Basic and AIT (job training) and where I'll be from there. On top of that I'm going insane because the window for my dad to spend time with me is rapidly closing and he spends it (in order): a) with a woman whom I do not care for b) with my sister c) his friends and drinking d)working on the house and i come in at like k or L.
And My step mom is demanding way too much from my dad for divorce such as retirement, the house etc. The lawyer (ours that is) said be ready to lose house! Not only that she is demanding my dad pay 650 for spousal support, all her medical and credit card bills paid by Dad and he still has to care for my sister, a dog, 3 cats, himself and me (2 months). My head is about to explode!!!!!
I know the Buddha said life is suffering but to deal with all this in less than a years time is really wearing down my insanity! I'm going :censor: mad with it all!!! I dont want the suffering and pain any more. I just want someone to say its going to be okay cause I'm soaking my hands in my tears and Idk what to do with it all....


EDIT: I'm already getting help so please dont mention that
 
for the most part i say suck it up and deal with, no one said life's going to be easy.........most everyone goes through their own personal hell on earth, ive been through several in my personal life. so suck it up, admit to yourself things are the chits(looks like you have done that part) and pro-actively seek to improve your situation. the answers will not come to yah sitting in your room moping.....find a good friend to cry on their shoulder, find a counselor you can talk to either at school or im sure the military branch your going into will have someone you can chat with........but sitting around complaining that life sucks gets yah no where, pick yourself up and look for solutions, dont wait for them to come to you cause very lil in life just falls into your lap............
 
It always goes in cycles. It never stays miserable for that long, and circumstances have a way of rapidly changing. Think of it as getting all the horrible crap out of the way right off the bat. Also, you can't control your immediate circumstances, but you can control your ultimate destiny, so don't sit around waiting for things to happen!

Casplock
 
Venting and sorting is not just a female thing. Guys need to unload, too. Anyhoo, while I don't have any quick fixes (a guy thing), I would strongly urge you to NOT do that which is empty and destroys relationships, brain cells, and livers. Do what ya can with what ya have, even if it's just spins. Enjoy your interests and hobbies for distractions. Buld relatiosnhips where you can.
 
I agree with jimscott with the hobby thing, i will say that i find fishing to be the only thing that can cheer me up in any situation.

Its a phase that will eventually pass, just remember to always watch your back. I know how you feel though, you have to make yourself see that not EVERYTHING is falling apart, its easy to sit around and only think about the bad stuff, try something different. even if it is just taking a long walk, you'd be surprised.

~b
 
This may sound dumb but don't forget to get adequate sleep and food, as that can exacerbate negative emotions. And I second getting out and walking. Also, which is better for you - hanging with people or solitude?
 
First thing you need to realize is that you can't fix the people around you. Sounds like your dad is going through a hard time and they is effecting you by him not spending the time with you that you think he should. You can't change that. They have to fix their own lives, like you have to improve yours. To me it sounds like you have the best path chosen. You are going into the military. The only way you can help the family situation is to improve yourself and not let your feelings and problems add to the families problems. I think the best thing is to continue on with a career in the military. That is the best thing to do to help your family, by helping yourself.

Once you get into the military, you won't have time to worry.
 
Most of the people in here have already made the main points. Ozzy is right in that you cannot change a person, so you need to realize that. I have found the best times of growth in my life (soul searching) have been when I relinquished any kind of control that I had. I found that when I try to do things on my own a lot of times I mess them up. You are overwhelming yourself because you are looking at everything at once.

Venting is important... the people that don't vent are the ones that end up doing psychotic things because they finally blow. You have taken the first step, imo, by sharing how you are feeling. The next step is up to you... you can choose to focus on all of the problems, or you can see the good in your life (believe me, it is there) and start doing things to take your mind off of everything else.

You'll be fine.

Phil
 
  • #10
It'll be OK. You're at an age when bad things feel intensely bad and time moves incredibly slowly, but it doesn't stay that way. I'm sorry your relationships aren't better right now, but that doesn't last forever either.

As much as you might want to, you can't fix everyone's lives. Take care of yourself and keep your eyes focused on your goals. Of course you have self-doubts about your abilities. That's what normal people do. People who don't cause a lot of the world's problems.

Don't sit around ruminating about what's gone wrong in the past, going wrong now or might go wrong in the future. Go out for a run or work out or something. See if a local Habitat for Humanity group can use some help tomorrow. Swinging a hammer for a day with a bunch of other people is a great distraction and lifts the spirits.
 
  • #11
How, that's some great advice. :hail:
 
  • #12
You may have seen these before; they've been bouncing around the Net for a while...

They're more than mere platitudes; actually very sound advice.

And they can apply to all of us. ;)



The Second Ten Commandments

1. Thou shall not worry, for worry is the most unproductive of all
human activities.

2. Thou shall not be fearful, for most of the things we fear never
come to pass.

3. Thou shall not cross bridges before you come to them, for no one
yet has succeeded in accomplishing this.

4. Thou shall face each problem as it comes. You can only handle
one at a time anyway.

5. Thou shall not take problems to bed with you, for they make very
poor bedfellows.

6. Thou shall not borrow other people's problems. They can better
care for them than you can.

7. Thou shall not try to relive yesterday for good or ill, it is
forever gone. Concentrate on what is happening in your life and be
happy now!

8. Thou shall be a good listener, for only when you listen do you
hear ideas different from your own. It is hard to learn something
new when you are talking, and some people do know more than you do.

9. Thou shall not become "bogged down" by frustration, for 90% of
it is rooted in self-pity and will only interfere with positive
action.

10. Thou shall count thy blessings, never overlooking the small
ones, for a lot of small blessings add up to a big one.
 
  • #13
Adam,
I cannot add to the great advice you have received on this forum but I will say a prayer for you.

Giovanni
 
  • #15
Wow, either a lot of people care or just wanna give out advice. :jester: Thank you everyone. After crying lastnight and sleeping well I feel normal again. The problems aren't gone but I feel better and that makes a world of difference. Thanks guys! :D
 
  • #16
Adam,

I'm glad you feel better!
God will never give you more than you can handle.

Giovanni
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top