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Gimmie-Gimmie sydrome

  • #21
I have never demanded something be given to me, I have offered to trade and have had people be generous and give the plants to me.
Thats how I got my first D. binata I offered to trade something for U. calycifida and ended up getting several species that I didn't have including calycifida.

Don't even respond to people who are demanding, who do they think they are even if they were you favorite candidate they have no right to demand, now asking as long as they don't keep asking if you have said "no" should be okay.
 
  • #22
I have received one PM asking for a gimme, and then I promptly chewed them out telling them how rude they were and the like. I have sent several people large boxes of plants for shipping because I was in the mood, but it just burns me up when people ask for gimmes.
 
  • #23
One time years back a member told me they were gonna "turn me in to terraforums" if I didn't send them a plant! ha ha! I didn't bother to contact Andrew about it cos it was so rediculous.
I'm a patient person that is why I've given you years to send me the plant I asked for, But my patience has run out!! I'm telling Andrew.

And Pyro, this wasn't what I was expecting when I told you to send me the Hippo plant.

406178427_5ce1600c26.jpg
 
  • #24
I can totally see people doing that... Anytime something is offered for free or for postage, there are some lurkers that come out of the woodwork and snatch up the offers with lightning speed. I only wonder if half the people end up giving back for free. I'm always glad to see when people do return favors though.

Kudos for your generosity Travis, and to the others like you.

Daniel
 
  • #25
phission's stipulations help witht he lurker thing.
That must get old I've been asked but not really asked alot a few times.
 
  • #26
phission's stipulations help witht he lurker thing.

Pyro has been doing the stipulations "thing" for a long while that I can recall... but he doesn't do it on everything... Some of the stuff he just needs to get rid of, or doesn't feel it warrants the stipulations.
 
  • #27
Pyro is a super nice guy... I guess he's pretty smart too.... except for that talking to himself thing :crazy:

smartquestion.jpg


smartanswer.jpg


I thank him for being around and doing what he does :)
 
  • #28
Gee Andy, thanks for making me look like (more of) an egg-headed dork than I already do LOL


Just to clear things up a bit...

I was not posting this simply because it was happening to me. As I mentioned in my initial post, if it had been something that was only happening to me I would have just let it roll off my back like I usually do. What motivated me to post was that I was hearing about it from others too. I tend to be more protective of others than I am of myself and I also take my job as a Mod of these forums seriously.

In addition, I am not saying that people are not allowed to "spontaneously" contact someone about the possibility of a trade. One of the best things about this hobby is the trading and the people you meet from it. What I am saying is that there is a right way to do it and a wrong way to do it and it seems that lately there have been a number of people doing it the wrong way. So this is just a gentle reminder for all of us to remember to think about what we are doing when we PM/email someone and the make sure we are respecting the person we are contacting.

As far as "lurkers" snagging things on the trading posts are concerned... That is not as directly involved in what I was talking about because they are at least acting under the umbrella of what is posted in the trade post. And yes, stipulations can help in this regard. Hence the reason that I have put in all my past giveaway threads the "once they are gone they are really all gone" closer. Prior to that I was getting people asking even after I had closed things out. And even after I started adding it I have gotten one message asking if I was "really" out or were there still some I had kept behind...

Which brings me to another point about respecting people. If someone does put a stipulation or a disclaimer or a specific request on a topic, they put it there for a reason and as such that stipulation/disclaimer/request should be respected.
 
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  • #29
Pyro i know you gave me 2 cephalotus awhile ago and i did thank you, but i would like to thank you further. If there is anything i could do to show my appreciation pleasse let me kow in the future and i will be MORE than happy to comply.
 
  • #30
Which brings me to another point about respecting people. If someone does put a stipulation or a disclaimer or a specific request on a topic, they put it there for a reason and as such that stipulation/disclaimer/request should be respected.
Another good example of this is if someone posts photos of plants that are rare or beautiful hybrids they have created that no one else has and they post a request to "please do not ask or pm for these plants". That request should be honored no matter how badly you desire a division. Has this happened to me? YES. On EVERY post that has ever shown pics of my plants, regardless of the request to DO NOT ASK! And people wonder why I rarely show pics of my collection. It's a known fact I do not have capability of posting photos on my own...but I do have friends that do it for me. Will I continue to post pics? Yes, of course. But I can rest assured the requests will come in, albeit not as plentiful.

Also, I find it personally irritating when someone posts a photo of a beautiful specimen for the specific purpose of sharing its beauty with the community and said photo is followed by comments such as.."WOW, that's incredible! Please put me down for a cutting or a division when it's ready". I don't recall seeing a disclaimer that stated cuttings were going to be offered. I know this is sometimes said in jest...but to me..it comes across as showing a lack of constraint and just grubbing for a piece of that plant.

Over the past year I became aquainted with a forum member who is somewhat active here..but more active elsewhere. He/she sent me pm's that were very flattering. Said person wanted to converse with me more often because he/she felt I had a great deal of experience/expertise and one of the most beautiful collections they had seen. Every pm was closed with the following sentence.."please feel free to send me cuttings or divisions of any plants that you have that I would like to grow". And I do mean EVERY pm. If a trade offer was made, by they not me, I would turn them down only to read that same sentence..only phrased differently..."I'm sorry I don't have anything you like. Please feel free to send me cuttings/divisions of your plants and maybe we can work something out later when I do have something you want". Talk about having a huge set of you-know-what!

Needless to say this individual was not interested in being my friend and just talking cps. He/she was ONLY interested in what they could squelch out of me. They have been added to my 'BLACK LIST'..which I have been keeping track of for many years now. I keep track of how these folks conduct themselves not only in my threads..but in others as well. I hate to be a hard arse about it but it's not like I don't trade or gift plants to people. My generosity is renowned beyond compare. 99.99% of the time I request nothing in return. The people who don't grub are the benefactors.
 
  • #31
A nice hack to the board would be an ignore list for PMs only. Right now if you add someone to your ignore list it blacks out their postings in the board reader too. You can set your PMs to only accept messages from your buddy list but once in a great while you get an interesting PM from someone not on your buddy list.
 
  • #32
While Pyro & Philcula have covered most of the issues, I'll add one small permutation.

When I post trades / giveaways, I've always added a line stating something about "No sales". Regardless of this, I have gotten requests to purchase these items from someone every time I have posted. As Phil stated earlier, if someone puts a request in a post, it's wise to honor it. While my blacklist is probably not as extensive as Phil's, these people typically go to the end of the line in upcoming giveaways / trades.
 
  • #33
For people to even THINK about if they want to post pictures or not because they don't want that wave of gimme pms is ridiculous. If it has come to this here, then there is a problem. I've looked into a hack to block people from your PM but not the board and there is not one. The consensus is, if you don't want a PM from an individual so bad... you should add them to your ignore list...

BUT! I just added a "report" button to the PMs. So if you receive spam from a spammer, begging from someone (when the post says not to) or whatever else you think needs to be reported... Feel free to use that button and the mods will see the PM and be able to contact the person. This is covered in the rules. For example:
Also it is quite rude to badger people VIA PM/IM about plants that they have in their grow list that they havent mentioned they would like to trade/give away. Big NO NO!
Typically if someone has something they want to trade... they will let the community know. Or on their growlist, they add "trades always welcome" etc. Warnings, temp bans, and please don't let it happen, permanent bans will be used if necessary to protect our members from this type of behavior. Follow the authors requests... You don't want them gone do ya? ...I don't.
 
  • #34
It has only happened to me a couple of times where I've gotten random requests for stuff. I wanted to put a particular plant up for trade, but knew that I'd be bombarded with outstretched hands so I never did. I did find a home for it without bothering with public listings.

And here I felt terrible about requesting stuff last month knowing that I'd probably have to only pay shipping due to the lack of tradeworthy plants. I don't feel quite as bad now. I had no idea that this problem was as widespread as it is.
 
  • #35
to all of the people here who've given me free plants/seeds, I haven't forgotten you guys! As soon as I can acquire some seed or plant to give away, you guys will be the first to know. I've started propogating some stuff, so that shouldn't be too long. I don't generally like to trade suff because often I can't bear to part with a plant after growing it for a year or so, but sooner or later I've got to get over that and start trading stuff. besides, I'm running out of space! Just thought I'd throw that out there in case anyone thought I was some kind of plant hoarder :crazy: . I'm guilty of offering to purchase things via PM that were offered up for trade, under the pretense of "if you can't find any good trades, there's always ME!!!!!" Sorry if that was annoying.
 
  • #36
some people have extras of things that unless you ask they might not otherwise think about trading, and if they did want to trade and posted a thread then you have competition.
 
  • #37
Using the free Holiday Inn wifi here....

I'm very sorry to here about that. I, too, have gotten requests like that before. People really think they're entitled to some things. The irony is that if the people who ask me for things had not asked for it, I would have given it to them, but they miss out because of their greed. Travis, you're SUPER generous, and the thought of people thinking they're entitled to something like that makes me so sad!

I know Philcula doesn't like posting pictures because people bug him. That's really unfortunate, because his pictures are AMAZING.
 
  • #38
I'm glad Travis opened up this discussion. Actually I'm quite appalled. It's shocking to hear these things that are going on privately via email or PM. I didn't know so much of that was going on. Talk about a skeleton in the closet!

Geez....where are the MANNERS? Please? Thank you? Not asking but waiting 'til something is offered?

Everyone here needs to remember that if they PM someone with a request (or demand), you may not be the only one. Hence, a member could be getting t lots of these rude requests. Just imagine if that were happing to you. Would you like it?

This is an extraordinarily generous community. I hope people learn something from this thread. Don't kill the goose who lays the golden egg! If these abuses continue, we'll lose all the generous offers and beautiful photographs we get to see.
 
  • #39
I just hope this thread doesn't create a shadow of fear about grow lists, photos, blind requests, etc. Of course there's a polite way to do anything and a not so polite way. But I for one, enjoy random communication I get from people, even if the rude one comes every now and then. Which it hasn't, and if it does, it wouldn't bother me, I'd just ignore it like a ComEd bill.

Seeing some of these ebay auctions ending for $600 plus for cuttings really throws some people's collections into the spot light. I don't really understand why I'd ever fear publishing my grow list, or sharing photographs of those plants as a result of it. If you have the honor of growing such a fine specimen / rare plant, you're the CP community equivalent of a movie star. Famous people get badgered for pictures, autographs, mementos all the time as well. To me, I think that's just part of the honor of being someone important, or at least popular.

Maybe some days I'll suffer CP community fame, but until now I'll just keep dreaming of that moment and checking my 0 unread pvt's. ::sigh, dreams:: :rolleyes:

Nate
 
  • #40
BUT! I just added a "report" button to the PMs. So if you receive spam from a spammer, begging from someone (when the post says not to) or whatever else you think needs to be reported... Feel free to use that button and the mods will see the PM and be able to contact the person. This is covered in the rules. For example: Typically if someone has something they want to trade... they will let the community know. Or on their growlist, they add "trades always welcome" etc. Warnings, temp bans, and please don't let it happen, permanent bans will be used if necessary to protect our members from this type of behavior. Follow the authors requests... You don't want them gone do ya? ...I don't.

Cool! But given the number of replies on many of the Grow Lists obviously people aren't reading the Grow List section rules either:
2. No replies in the grow list forum.. PM the member for comments/discussion/etc.
 
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