TerraForums Venus Flytrap, Nepenthes, Drosera and more talk
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Hmmm, I've been gone too long.
I mean, I guess I can't have anything more to say than those before me already have, but... I'll say my piece anyway because you deserve to be told as many times as people will tell you.
You and I haven't had the most interaction in the world, but I can say I've enjoyed every time we got to chatting. And it goes without saying that your generosity around here hasn't gone unnoticed. Suffice it to say you're an appreciated member of the community, and it sucks that things can go sour from time to time.
That said, like everyone else has mentioned, make sure you do what's best for you and your family. Let me put emphasis on "make sure." I've been in similar shoes twice: make the decision to say goodbye to a(n online) community, or stick it out through some rough times and hope to see some greener grass. Both times, I had to weigh what was best for me and my wife. And, both times, I decided to call it quits with those communities. Both these decisions were made about five years ago, and both decisions are ones I regret today. You can say you'll keep in contact with people, you can say you won't become a stranger, but once the decision's made and you were the one to make it... well, the decision's made. It's weird, it's almost like a repeat of high school graduation. You tell everyone you'll keep in contact, everyone tells you they'll do the same, but over time... those relationships just... grow apart. That's why I regret having removed myself from those communities.
And don't let anyone give you the nonsense about, "Hey, it's just the internet, it doesn't matter." That's largely the mindset (not on your part) that's got you in the position to begin with. Yes, it's the internet, yes people can be total douches with no fear of punishment or other repercussions. But people can also be people on the internet. Some people choose not to let the anonymity give them some false sense of power. And when people act themselves on the internet, well, it's very easy to form some very tightly woven relationships with them. Some of my very best friends have been people I've never met. And a lot of those people, today, I have no idea if they're even alive. Because I chose to remove myself from the communities they made themselves part of, and because I allowed those relationships to, subsequently, die. A bridge doesn't have to be burned to be rendered unusable. If the bridge is allowed to go without use or work, it falls apart just the same.
I guess what I'm trying to convey is that you really need to think ahead... like, way ahead. If the community is making it harder to live a happy life, then yes, you should probably take a break or cut back on your activity, like you have decided to do. And if you need to take it a step further, I might suggest thinking of it more of as a leave of absence than a farewell. If you say goodbye to a community, just know that it might very well mean goodbye... it has in my experience, anyway.
Blah, I rambled. I hope I at least got my point across.
I mean, I guess I can't have anything more to say than those before me already have, but... I'll say my piece anyway because you deserve to be told as many times as people will tell you.
You and I haven't had the most interaction in the world, but I can say I've enjoyed every time we got to chatting. And it goes without saying that your generosity around here hasn't gone unnoticed. Suffice it to say you're an appreciated member of the community, and it sucks that things can go sour from time to time.
That said, like everyone else has mentioned, make sure you do what's best for you and your family. Let me put emphasis on "make sure." I've been in similar shoes twice: make the decision to say goodbye to a(n online) community, or stick it out through some rough times and hope to see some greener grass. Both times, I had to weigh what was best for me and my wife. And, both times, I decided to call it quits with those communities. Both these decisions were made about five years ago, and both decisions are ones I regret today. You can say you'll keep in contact with people, you can say you won't become a stranger, but once the decision's made and you were the one to make it... well, the decision's made. It's weird, it's almost like a repeat of high school graduation. You tell everyone you'll keep in contact, everyone tells you they'll do the same, but over time... those relationships just... grow apart. That's why I regret having removed myself from those communities.
And don't let anyone give you the nonsense about, "Hey, it's just the internet, it doesn't matter." That's largely the mindset (not on your part) that's got you in the position to begin with. Yes, it's the internet, yes people can be total douches with no fear of punishment or other repercussions. But people can also be people on the internet. Some people choose not to let the anonymity give them some false sense of power. And when people act themselves on the internet, well, it's very easy to form some very tightly woven relationships with them. Some of my very best friends have been people I've never met. And a lot of those people, today, I have no idea if they're even alive. Because I chose to remove myself from the communities they made themselves part of, and because I allowed those relationships to, subsequently, die. A bridge doesn't have to be burned to be rendered unusable. If the bridge is allowed to go without use or work, it falls apart just the same.
I guess what I'm trying to convey is that you really need to think ahead... like, way ahead. If the community is making it harder to live a happy life, then yes, you should probably take a break or cut back on your activity, like you have decided to do. And if you need to take it a step further, I might suggest thinking of it more of as a leave of absence than a farewell. If you say goodbye to a community, just know that it might very well mean goodbye... it has in my experience, anyway.
Blah, I rambled. I hope I at least got my point across.
TheFury
Oh, the humanity!!
Travis - great to see you decided to come back. Your experience here on this forum and your wealth of knowledge are meaningful not only to the folks who post regularly here but also to the silent hobbyists who pass through this site searching for information even if they don't chime in themselves. Plus, you're a chill guy and good thread-company (yes, I just coined that new term). I guess what I'm trying to say i that it's useful to take a step back and realize just how many people value your presence here even if they don't say it!
And if that's not enough... well, you post enough eye candy and give away enough awesome fluffy moss to put you at the top of many a favorites list around these parts!
And if that's not enough... well, you post enough eye candy and give away enough awesome fluffy moss to put you at the top of many a favorites list around these parts!
