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If it wasn't for bad luck

Ozzy

SirKristoff is a poopiehead
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I don't know if anybody remembers the discussion a while back about Cranberry Island. It's a floating island of sphagnum. The only floating island in the world. It use to be 50 acres (I think). It has S.purpurea, D.rotundfolia, some rare orchids, ect.
Once a year they open it up to the public. They let 480 people onto the island . To get on you have to send a post card and your post card has to be pulled in a drawing. One per family, up to four people.

I have been wanting to go for a couple of years. So last month I send two post cards. I sent one with my address and one with Nick Hubbell's. Both asking for 4 tickets. I had planned that if I sent the two cards that we would have double the chance to be selected. And if we both were selected then we could invite four more people from here.

Well Nick messaged me told me that somebody had canceled and his name was selected to as a backup. So we going to Cranberry Island on June 26th!! I was so excited.

Then my wife reminded me that we have to go to a wedding on the 26th.  
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I tried to convince my wife why this trip was more important than her nieces wedding. And to my surprise she didn't agree with me. I told her that she'll probably get married again one day and then we can go to that one.

Well to make a long story short, I called Doug (Death66) and asked him if he wanted to go in my place. He jumped at the chance to go. He told me , "Thank you" and I said don't thank me I don't want to give my ticket.

So here's my plan. All I have to do is to get either my wife's niece or her bf to call off the wedding. If I can do that, you can kiss this trip goodbye Doug.

So far my only idea is to throw him a really wild bachelor party and take alot of pics. Then anonymously mail her the pics. Anybody got a better idea? I need all the help I can get.
 
Better yet, find your wife a "date" to go with her to the wedding. She probably doesn't want to go alone. Maybe some ugly cousin will accompany her?

Besides, do you even know your wife's sister's daughter and/or wife's sister's daughter's fiancee? Probably not if you said such things. Be nice, and offer your wife options. If that doesn't work, beg.
 
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Thats somehow wrong.
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I like the thinking though. You gotta do what you gotta do. The bachelor party is a good idea, take him to a strip club and take photos of lap dances. Maybe even "better" photos if the chance should arise.

Joe
 
Why am I reminded of missing pets and hungry capensis?
 
I tryed begging, It didn't work. Jim look up Cranberry Island and see for yourself. I also have Nick and Doug to back me upon this one.
My wife told me I can go to the bog if I wanted. I'm sure that all the married men here knows what the correct answer to that is.
 
Ozzy,
The the correct answer is;  "Darling I would really like to go to the bog but my place is with you at the wedding.  It will be fun.  We'll have a few drinks and I'll have a great time dancing with the new bride...she is a real cutie pie.  Is
that foxy Denise going to be one of the bridesmaids?  You remember her, the one I used to date in highschool."

Then cap it off with; "I'll try very hard not to insult any of your family...unless of course I get started on the Wild Turkey.  Maybe I could even tell some of my jokes to liven things up."

Dude, you will be on your way to Cranberry Island in no time.
 
Lauderdale, Your suggestions are not really far from the truth. I'm not one to hold my tongue, but I have to bite it with my wife's sister, (the brides mom). If there's' alcohol, It's almost impossible.
But I tried your suggestion almost word for word and it didn't work out the way I had hoped. I just hope this black eye heals before next weekend, that'll be embarrassing.
 
Hmmm...wedding...bog....wedding...bog... I say BOG! Can't your wife get a body double to go?

How can a few hours at a wedding compare to a waiting years to go to this bog where only a handful of people get to go every year.
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I say do some more begging...offer a trade--cooking dinner every nite for a month? Doing something with her that she likes that you wouldn't normally do?

There's gotta be a way. Sudden onset of stomach flu?

Keep begging. Maybe it needs a poll.
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Even my wife said "normally I'd agree with the wife but, the island sounds like a once in a lifetime thing" then followed with "I'd let you go cause thats an important thing if so very few people get to experience it"

Weird
Joe
 
  • #10
Ozzy, stand up to your wife. Let her know you don't want to go to some silly wedding and miss a quite possibly once in a lifetime experience. Tell her up front that you are willing to put up with whatever she deems necessary (i.e. cut off for a month), you just don't care.
I've done it....It's not pretty....BUT the benefit is that next time she'll at least listen to your side of the story...
 
  • #11
I think you should go to the bog, but you're going to have to be super-nice to the wife and buy presents. She's going to be pissed either way - pissed that you even asked, and pissed if you go.
 
  • #12
Ok, this is how it goes: you are going to the wedding. I know it's painful, but there is no escaping this sort of thing. I've tried, and it don't work. You could beg out of a funeral with more ease.

However, from this you will earn BIG CREDIT. Ruby owes you! So the next time you need some slack you are entitled to it.

Not much solace there I know, but maybe you can visit me soon and we will take in Sloperville Bog providing I can secure permission as the land is now posted!

Meanwhile, try to get a glimpse up all the dresses, there really isn't much more to commend the experience of being at an "unknown" wedding, unless you like bad catering.

I had one last weekend. I had to wear a suit. I sat next to a Born Again Christian who was into converting me. Scotch was going for 7.00 per shot, and the day was picture perfect (why can't folk get married in the winter when there is nothing to do anyways?) To make it worse, all the pretty girls were in long dresses. I couldn't have gotten into any trouble if I brought it with me, and I was fresh out.

Still, I have that CREDIT slip, and the time will come when I use it...........
 
  • #15
How about.. You get dressed and ready..   get in the car and hit the road..  then somehow manage to make a wrong turn "she must have said turn left here...  thats whats written down?" (if you can forge your wifes handwriting thats even better)..  next thing you know you are "accidently" at the bog (guess its a good thing your sloppy bog clothes are still in the trunk from the last trip huh?)  hehe

Have fun
Steve
 
  • #16
[b said:
Quote[/b] (Tamlin Dawnstar @ June 21 2004,11:47)]..... I sat next to a Born Again Christian who was into converting me.....
That's as bad as being forced to watch infomercials all day. You deserve extra credit for having to put with that.
 
  • #17
How good of friends are you with your doctor? You can come up with an elaborate case of "food poisoning". Your doctor then claims the best way to get better is to get a day in the sun with plenty of fluids. ie going to a bog.
 
  • #18
Cant you comprimise and go to the island then meet her at the reception?
 
  • #19
Lightbulb!


Ok, this is what you do. Become BEST friends with the bride. Tell her how happy you are for her and hers blah blah blah.....
While you are being her best friend, ask a bunch of questions about the wedding like any "friend" would. You know, who is providing the flowers, where is it being held, reception hall, etc....
Then, you call each and every one of the places and pretend to be the brides father. Tell them because of scheduling problems, you have to delay all the reservations for a week. By the time they figure out that the dates have changed it will be to late to change them back (I.e. the halls have booked etc.)
 
  • #20
I would just go.
I would not really care about what other people think.
Just GO!
You will probably have a huge row when you get back, but at the end of the day, yoy will ejoy going to the place so much it wont matter.
Try begging one more time. If it does not work, just GO!
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